Marriage 101: If it has a cord and a plug on it, she ain’t gonna like it.
18
LIKE A HOOVER POCKET ROCKET??
7
She thinks:
“I wonder how far I can shove this up his ass?”
16
My grandfather illustrated that ad!!!
45
My wife suggested I get her a vacuum cleaner for Christmas this year. I flat out refused.
(Guess who does most of the house cleaning…)
9
Ralphie! Be careful! You’ll shoot your eye out!!
“Oh, Fudge!”
“Frag -ill -eh!” Must be Italian!
8
She’s thinking “I sure hope he likes his plunger and drain snake set…”
18
As much time as I’ve spent doing housework over the years, being gifted with something that makes the job easier has never bothered me. But then I’ve always been pretty practical.
29
And Fur gets an honorary degree from Pratt Institute for his latest Pet Portraiture of my puppy!
19
This gift suck.
19
…I don’t get the hate. I got a Roomba for Father’s Day one year because I ASKED for it. Handy thing, nice to have a tidy floor, plus I’m a robot guy so I think its cool.
Give ME a vacuum cleaner ANY day, beats a tie I’ll never wear because I don’t dress like that…
16
I’ll never forget the Christmas my Dad gave Mom a chainsaw for Christmas. Our family outings were fun filled forest gatherings including lots of firewood that year. Dad’s gone and my baby sister saw a rainbow this morning, 9 degrees out, after leaving cemetery. He was always a sunny side up fella- it’ll be alright.
21
I got a lightweight Shark Turbo-something a few years ago for Christmas. Love it! My husband liked it so much he does most of the vacuuming now. Winning!
16
@Miss Conduct – Very cool with ya dad… YOU went to Pratt?? Not still in the area are ya?
I went to CCNY, BArch, ’92’,
Ghost
6
There’s a Sucker born every Minute
4
^^^- oops grandfather…
Who here says ‘the wife’ (and us all) needs…a NEW edit button for Christmas…and the New Year?! :>O
5
I think he’d be happy with good Hoover.
10
She obviously adores her new vaccuum, but I’m still waiting on my sandwich…
11
I once dated a gal who was a single mother. I looked around for what she needed at her place and decided a nice set of cookware and a Regina Housekeeper vacuum would make great Christmas presents. I repeat, I once dated a gal who was a single mother!😉
15
Don’t give her a gun for Christmas either. Or a Worlds Gym Sweat Shirt. The one with the Gorilla Deadlifting. Even if it’s pink.
8
I gave my wife a new toilet. She loves it!
5
I don’t know how happy “she” will be with a Hoover but I DO know that it’s every GUY’s favorite Christmas gift!!!
3
Different Tim – One of the first Christmas gifts I gave my wife way back before we were married was a nice set of pots and pans.
6
A friend of mine once gave his wife a vacuum cleaner for Christmas. When he opened his gift from her, it was a matched set of Winchester lever-action commemorative rifles. He Immediately called up his friend who owned a car dealership and went over and bought her a Volkswagen.
12
No wonder she’s smiling, the note she’s reading says “Hon btw, your new Cadillac convertible is in the driveway.”
7
Nothing beats a Kirby.
11
@Ghost – grandpa taught at Pratt and my dad graduated. My grandpa was friends with Norman Rockwell – pretty cool! I’m in beautiful and peaceful SC now…
9
The empty thought bubble concerns me.
As for vacuums, we’ve had them all. Miele is the best. Hands down.
Made in Germany. Sold in small shops.
Having become disgusted with my Oreck and my Dyson I walked into the little vacuum cleaner store and asked, ‘do your vacuums suck?’
YES SIR!
Sold.
Works great.
6
My mother had that very vacuum (color and all) and one day, 15 years later, she set it up in the entrance all, ready to vacuum the rug and our cat was sitting nearby. When she turned it on, the thing exploded in a cloud of dust and the cat went vertical about half way to the ceiling. I nearly died laughing.
Thanks for the memory. And have a Merry Christmas day!
15
Electrolux. I said Electrolux.
3
I’m with @Brown-eyed Girl. I have never minded getting practical gifts. I like things that I can use and that I will use.
11
@chiggerbug.
Miele. Don’t make me come down there. There’ll be hell to pay.
3
Nuthin sucks like an Electrolux!
1
It’s just nature.
God made women’s feet smaller than men for a reason.
So they can stand closer to the sink.
(put down the knife ladies)
6
Aaand that was how th fight started officer.
7
I was at my son’s one year. He gave his wife a large box and, being the smart-azz I am, I said ‘OOooo a vacuum cleaner’……….it was. They’ve finally invited me back for Christmas again after several years…….oh, wait, they live in Kalifornia……..covid.
3
Well, that is more thoughful than a carpet beater.
3
@PHenry
Miele, absolutely. I bought the top of the middle line/bottom of the top of the line (never could figure that out–but it was metal-body, not plastic like their low-end models). Never regretted it. Deep blue, with several contained ATTACHMENTS, and lightweight! Makes me enjoy vacuuming for the first time ever.
1
I’ve never understood “don’t buy a woman anything she must clean or cook with”
The first year I was married and money was tight, I had an old piece of crap hand-me-down vacuum cleaner. I hated that thing, it weighed a ton and you had to go over everything at least twice. My husband bought me a new vacuum for Christmas and then everyone started telling him how surprised they were that I didn’t divorce him. I told him that apparently I wasn’t like other wives so to never listen to those people, I like things that make my life easier.
5
Best Christmas evah was when I bought my wife a REAL diamond.
1
“Well … that’s nice … next time he wants something that SUCKS …”
2
@Chiggerbug, @TRF — Years ago while I still had both poor judgment and an adolescent sense of humor¹, I had a set of pages with small round peel-off stickers each with a picture of a wood screw on it. They fit neatly over the ♥ on bumper stickers with messages in the form “I ♥ [whatever]”.
One day I spotted a car with a bumper sticker that said
I ♥ MY ELECTROLUX
Made my whole week! BWAHAHAHAAAHAAAHAAA!
1. Don’t start.
3
“Five years ago I was building bombers for my husband. Now he’s building appliances for me. I love the 50’s.”
5
Back in the late 80s and early 90s I told my kids they couldn’t go wrong if they bought be any kind of tools for a present.
Something practical always wins with me. Hasn’t failed me since.
My wife was very appreciative of me for buying her a quality weed eater one year for Christmas. My relatives chastised me to no end, but she was ecstatic – she ran a landscape biz. It was practical. Ear rings would not benefit her like it did.
One year my wife bought herself a Kirby with many attachments right before she went into alcohol rehab in ’92. About $1,200 before taxes.
Very impractical – that was two house payments she wasn’t helping out with. We have hardwood floors. We didn’t need anything like that. But – whatever. It was on her credit and she was going to have to pay for it. That was different than the usual stupid stuff she did and stuck me with.
About 3 weeks after she was out of rehab the salesman wanted directions to our home. Me to her: “Why? He didn’t need them to sell it to you.” Her: “He says he needs your signature on something” I take the phone – “Glad you called. I want to cancel this sale.” Him: “You can’t. It’s past the 3 day limit for cancellation. It’s a done deal” Me: “OK. Why do you want to come over and have me sign something then if the sale is a “done deal that nothing else can be done about?” Him: “I need you to sign a paper for the contract to be complete.” (her credit was not good – she had no legit tax paying job and she hadn’t made a single payment yet. I refused to pay for it since I was opposed to the purchase in the first place. Him continuing: “If you don’t, then we’ll have to take the Kirby back from you and cancel the contract.”
Me: “Sounds like what I just asked you to do. Please bring our old vacuum back when you come to pick it up.”
I could actually hear the sigh of him busting himself. He was deflated.
Him: “OK. But we don’t have your old vacuum any more.” Me: “Bring back something equivalent, then.” (The old one was worth $10 – it really sucked and not in a good vacuum way) Him: “Yes sir. I’ll be over tomorrow about 3 pm”.
We got a pretty good old vacuum (maybe $200 value) that I used for another 15 years.
He didn’t need directions that day. No surprise.
I’ve been a salesman most of my life. Trying to screw me or bamboozle me doesn’t usually work out too well for them.
5
A nice matching set of dish towels would have sufficed.
1
Yeah, because the clock and candle sticks she bought were actually for me.
Marriage 101: If it has a cord and a plug on it, she ain’t gonna like it.
LIKE A HOOVER POCKET ROCKET??
She thinks:
“I wonder how far I can shove this up his ass?”
My grandfather illustrated that ad!!!
My wife suggested I get her a vacuum cleaner for Christmas this year. I flat out refused.
(Guess who does most of the house cleaning…)
Ralphie! Be careful! You’ll shoot your eye out!!
“Oh, Fudge!”
“Frag -ill -eh!” Must be Italian!
She’s thinking “I sure hope he likes his plunger and drain snake set…”
As much time as I’ve spent doing housework over the years, being gifted with something that makes the job easier has never bothered me. But then I’ve always been pretty practical.
And Fur gets an honorary degree from Pratt Institute for his latest Pet Portraiture of my puppy!
This gift suck.
…I don’t get the hate. I got a Roomba for Father’s Day one year because I ASKED for it. Handy thing, nice to have a tidy floor, plus I’m a robot guy so I think its cool.
Give ME a vacuum cleaner ANY day, beats a tie I’ll never wear because I don’t dress like that…
I’ll never forget the Christmas my Dad gave Mom a chainsaw for Christmas. Our family outings were fun filled forest gatherings including lots of firewood that year. Dad’s gone and my baby sister saw a rainbow this morning, 9 degrees out, after leaving cemetery. He was always a sunny side up fella- it’ll be alright.
I got a lightweight Shark Turbo-something a few years ago for Christmas. Love it! My husband liked it so much he does most of the vacuuming now. Winning!
@Miss Conduct – Very cool with ya dad… YOU went to Pratt?? Not still in the area are ya?
I went to CCNY, BArch, ’92’,
Ghost
There’s a Sucker born every Minute
^^^- oops grandfather…
Who here says ‘the wife’ (and us all) needs…a NEW edit button for Christmas…and the New Year?! :>O
I think he’d be happy with good Hoover.
She obviously adores her new vaccuum, but I’m still waiting on my sandwich…
I once dated a gal who was a single mother. I looked around for what she needed at her place and decided a nice set of cookware and a Regina Housekeeper vacuum would make great Christmas presents. I repeat, I once dated a gal who was a single mother!😉
Don’t give her a gun for Christmas either. Or a Worlds Gym Sweat Shirt. The one with the Gorilla Deadlifting. Even if it’s pink.
I gave my wife a new toilet. She loves it!
I don’t know how happy “she” will be with a Hoover but I DO know that it’s every GUY’s favorite Christmas gift!!!
Different Tim – One of the first Christmas gifts I gave my wife way back before we were married was a nice set of pots and pans.
A friend of mine once gave his wife a vacuum cleaner for Christmas. When he opened his gift from her, it was a matched set of Winchester lever-action commemorative rifles. He Immediately called up his friend who owned a car dealership and went over and bought her a Volkswagen.
No wonder she’s smiling, the note she’s reading says “Hon btw, your new Cadillac convertible is in the driveway.”
Nothing beats a Kirby.
@Ghost – grandpa taught at Pratt and my dad graduated. My grandpa was friends with Norman Rockwell – pretty cool! I’m in beautiful and peaceful SC now…
The empty thought bubble concerns me.
As for vacuums, we’ve had them all. Miele is the best. Hands down.
Made in Germany. Sold in small shops.
Having become disgusted with my Oreck and my Dyson I walked into the little vacuum cleaner store and asked, ‘do your vacuums suck?’
YES SIR!
Sold.
Works great.
My mother had that very vacuum (color and all) and one day, 15 years later, she set it up in the entrance all, ready to vacuum the rug and our cat was sitting nearby. When she turned it on, the thing exploded in a cloud of dust and the cat went vertical about half way to the ceiling. I nearly died laughing.
Thanks for the memory. And have a Merry Christmas day!
Electrolux. I said Electrolux.
I’m with @Brown-eyed Girl. I have never minded getting practical gifts. I like things that I can use and that I will use.
@chiggerbug.
Miele. Don’t make me come down there. There’ll be hell to pay.
Nuthin sucks like an Electrolux!
It’s just nature.
God made women’s feet smaller than men for a reason.
So they can stand closer to the sink.
(put down the knife ladies)
Aaand that was how th fight started officer.
I was at my son’s one year. He gave his wife a large box and, being the smart-azz I am, I said ‘OOooo a vacuum cleaner’……….it was. They’ve finally invited me back for Christmas again after several years…….oh, wait, they live in Kalifornia……..covid.
Well, that is more thoughful than a carpet beater.
@PHenry
Miele, absolutely. I bought the top of the middle line/bottom of the top of the line (never could figure that out–but it was metal-body, not plastic like their low-end models). Never regretted it. Deep blue, with several contained ATTACHMENTS, and lightweight! Makes me enjoy vacuuming for the first time ever.
I’ve never understood “don’t buy a woman anything she must clean or cook with”
The first year I was married and money was tight, I had an old piece of crap hand-me-down vacuum cleaner. I hated that thing, it weighed a ton and you had to go over everything at least twice. My husband bought me a new vacuum for Christmas and then everyone started telling him how surprised they were that I didn’t divorce him. I told him that apparently I wasn’t like other wives so to never listen to those people, I like things that make my life easier.
Best Christmas evah was when I bought my wife a REAL diamond.
“Well … that’s nice … next time he wants something that SUCKS …”
@Chiggerbug, @TRF — Years ago while I still had both poor judgment and an adolescent sense of humor¹, I had a set of pages with small round peel-off stickers each with a picture of a wood screw on it. They fit neatly over the ♥ on bumper stickers with messages in the form “I ♥ [whatever]”.
One day I spotted a car with a bumper sticker that said
I ♥ MY ELECTROLUX
Made my whole week! BWAHAHAHAAAHAAAHAAA!
1. Don’t start.
“Five years ago I was building bombers for my husband. Now he’s building appliances for me. I love the 50’s.”
Back in the late 80s and early 90s I told my kids they couldn’t go wrong if they bought be any kind of tools for a present.
Something practical always wins with me. Hasn’t failed me since.
My wife was very appreciative of me for buying her a quality weed eater one year for Christmas. My relatives chastised me to no end, but she was ecstatic – she ran a landscape biz. It was practical. Ear rings would not benefit her like it did.
One year my wife bought herself a Kirby with many attachments right before she went into alcohol rehab in ’92. About $1,200 before taxes.
Very impractical – that was two house payments she wasn’t helping out with. We have hardwood floors. We didn’t need anything like that. But – whatever. It was on her credit and she was going to have to pay for it. That was different than the usual stupid stuff she did and stuck me with.
About 3 weeks after she was out of rehab the salesman wanted directions to our home. Me to her: “Why? He didn’t need them to sell it to you.” Her: “He says he needs your signature on something” I take the phone – “Glad you called. I want to cancel this sale.” Him: “You can’t. It’s past the 3 day limit for cancellation. It’s a done deal” Me: “OK. Why do you want to come over and have me sign something then if the sale is a “done deal that nothing else can be done about?” Him: “I need you to sign a paper for the contract to be complete.” (her credit was not good – she had no legit tax paying job and she hadn’t made a single payment yet. I refused to pay for it since I was opposed to the purchase in the first place. Him continuing: “If you don’t, then we’ll have to take the Kirby back from you and cancel the contract.”
Me: “Sounds like what I just asked you to do. Please bring our old vacuum back when you come to pick it up.”
I could actually hear the sigh of him busting himself. He was deflated.
Him: “OK. But we don’t have your old vacuum any more.” Me: “Bring back something equivalent, then.” (The old one was worth $10 – it really sucked and not in a good vacuum way) Him: “Yes sir. I’ll be over tomorrow about 3 pm”.
We got a pretty good old vacuum (maybe $200 value) that I used for another 15 years.
He didn’t need directions that day. No surprise.
I’ve been a salesman most of my life. Trying to screw me or bamboozle me doesn’t usually work out too well for them.
A nice matching set of dish towels would have sufficed.
Yeah, because the clock and candle sticks she bought were actually for me.