Ouch. I think I may have married a sock puppet. She vomits whatever lsm and fb tell her to vomit.
One point.
12
*I never have posed as black, gay, female, or democrat…
However, I have indeed slept with a ghost in Dallas.
*True story
7
do tell
16
Well, count me out. I’ve actually cauterized a hotdog while demoing a piece of laser equipment.
10
Slept with a ghost? I once stayed at small hotel in Atlanta. It was more of a B&B than a hotel, except they had a full service bar that locals came to. They all talked about this place having had a spooky past. I was there for 5 nights, work trip. I wish I could remember the place so I could tell you to stay away.
6
I confess to defanging a sand worm and having a third salad.
+2 What do I win?
Come on down!…
5
I’ve smoked a Bible page, if that counts. Hey, when you’ve got no papers…….
7
I’ve taught basketweaving. Meh. At least it’s a useful skill for prepping.
And cauterized a hotdog. During a power distribution display. And you should see what fun a mylar balloon does against a power line…
That trading skin with a bear? That’s an old Norse thing. It makes you a bearzerker…
8
Seriously, I used to travel for work and one night I stayed at a crappy hotel in Arlington, Texas in the late 80’s.
It was like an old motor lodge.
I lay down in the bed and a couple of seconds later I felt someone get up from the bed.
Only problem was that I was alone!
I jumped up and turned on the light.
My heart was nearly beating out of my chest.
I had not fallen asleep, it happened right after I laid down.
The odd thing is, a year earlier I had been T-boned in an accident by someone running a red light a mile from this hotel.
I wasn’t hurt but I heard that the guy who hit me had a seizure and died in the hospital that evening.
Even more oddly, I went to the hospital to be checked out for insurance purposes and that same morning a plane had crashed at DFW.
The hospital was packed since there were many survivors that were injured.
This story is 100%. No need to lie.
I bullshit far too much but this is exactly what happened.
From this point on I will always believe in external spirits.
17
I was aiming at Yoko.
30
Strange but true……weird but real.
6
Never have I ever witnessed my country come so close to destroying itself while at the hands of a buffoon and a whore.
38
@Eugenia: That’s funny, right there.
11
Oh, and I have slept with a goat.
Ghost? Oh.
Never mind
11
Joe6 has actually met me face to face*, so he knows I may be loco, but that’s not the same as insane…
*We went to see President Trump in Vegas, joe6 bought me an expensive dinner at NYNY and I didn’t even put out. His wonderful wife is certainly glad!
18
Is carbonizing a hot dog the same as cauterizing one? If not, I got nothing.
9
I never ate a kale chip.
And I doubt I ever will.
9
Third salad … in my lifetime or all in one day?
I wish I could trade skin with a bear. Better yet, with my 30-year old self!
14
Does it count if your snake has shingles?
3
Who makes up this stuff???
No to all obviously.
9
I’ve done all those things … TWICE!
15
Lol Tsunami.
Think you’ll get online ads for Kommiela kneepads and Biden memory pills?
3
I did prank call an owl. I use an owl call while while turkey hunting to locate turkeys before dawn. The sound aggravates the gobblers and causes them to gobble. Anyway, there was an owl in a tree near me and we held a conversation for a while before it finally got frustrated and flew away.
7
I never want to do those acts.
Don’t mess with my BIBLE.
3
Add to that: “Needed a celebrity’s opinion”
11
I may have called somebody else “white Oprah” or something similar.
3
Never done any of those things. Seen a few of them in the movies, though.
4
Jethro – The owl probably thought he was talking to a liberal.
6
Nope. None of those. Also, I’ve never…
— bench pressed tapioca pudding
— performed brain surgery on a parsnip
— said, “Hold my 18-year-old Macallan”
— welded a waffle
— hired an illegal alien from Arcturus
I have, however, taken the Lord’s name in vain, but that’s between Him and me.
8
Didn’t get any points but I do have some new things on my bucket list.
Could you add kick a political in the groin to that? I’d REALLY like to do that!
7
My late wife used to jokingly refer to the the day old bread store/outlets as the used bread store. My daughter in a conversation with one of her coworkers recently called it that as well and her friend had to ask her what a used bread store was. It was a mom thing believe me. And she used to tell me that snarky was not a word and it was something that I made up.
6
Three points.
One of which was inventing dice. Or at least manufacturing them… During the short stent at seminary they actually had a half ass machine shop where we took hunks of plexiglass glass and cut them into squares for dice. Poorly done with the “dots” drilled into them being not properly positioned.
They imported immigrant nuns from Italy to run the kitchen to feed the place and one of them almost took off a finger with a ban saw. Bet you didn’t know that meat cutting was part of shop class.
Good Times!
3
Seriously? Who hasn’t milked a spider? Sexy!
1
Damn… I taught basket-weaving merit badge on summer camp staff in ’82… 😳
2
“Eaten Jewelry”
…no, I’ve not done this, but I can’t say it will never happen.
Neither can you.
…when the Nazis moved the “undesirables” to concentration camps, it wasn’t unusal for them to steal absolutely everything of value from them, heirloom jewelry and wedding rings included.
Swallowing them was the only way to presevere ANYTHING.
“She took her audience through her family’s journey to Auschwitz. Zisblatt said she saw her family enter the death chamber and she doesn’t know why they let her live. She knew that she had to survive the darkness that was the Holocaust so that she could be the voices of the millions of children that were killed.
Around her neck hung a necklace with four diamonds that once belonged to her mother. Before the Nazis took Zisblatt’s family to Auschwitz, her mother hid the jewels by sewing them into Irene’s skirt. The diamonds were the only connection she had left of her mother, and Zisblatt took extreme measures to protect them. While in the Auschwitz camp, Zisblatt had to repeatedly swallow the diamonds and excrete them in order to keep them from being taken from her.
…there are examples throughout history, one of the more egregious being during the siege of Jerusalem in 70 AD when Titus permitted Jewish surrenders and encamped them near Syrian auxilaries. In order to avoid their gold being taken by fanatic political factions within the city, they swallowed it. One of them made a tactical mistake of excreting and recovering it too close to the Syrians, and…
“1. As Josephus was speaking thus, with a loud voice, the seditious would neither yield to what he said; nor did they deem it safe for them to alter their conduct. But as for the people, they had a great inclination to desert to the Romans. Accordingly some of them sold what they had, and even the most precious things that had been laid up as treasures by them, for every small matter: and swallowed down pieces of gold, that they might not be found out by the robbers. And when they had escaped to the Romans went to stool, and had wherewithal to provide plentifully for themselves. For Titus let a great number of them go away into the country, whither they pleased. And the main reasons why they were so ready to desert were these; that now they should be freed from those miseries which they had endured in that city; and yet should not be in slavery to the Romans. However, John and Simon, with their factions, did more carefully watch these mens going out, than they did the coming in of the Romans. And if any one did but afford the least shadow of suspicion of such an intention, his throat was cut immediately.”
…
“4. Hereupon some of the deserters, having no other way, leaped down from the wall immediately; while others of them went out of the city, with stones, as if they would fight them: but thereupon they fled away to the Romans. But here a worse fate accompanied these, than what they had found within the city: and they met with a quicker dispatch from the too great abundance they had among the Romans, than they could have done from the famine among the Jews. For when they came first to the Romans, they were puffed up by the famine, and swelled like men in a dropsy. After which, they all on the sudden over-filled those bodies, that were before empty, and so burst asunder: excepting such only as were skilful enough to restrain their appetites; and by degrees took in their food into bodies unaccustomed thereto. Yet did another plague seize upon those that were thus preserved. For there was found among the Syrian deserters a certain person who was caught gathering pieces of gold out of the excrements of the Jews bellies. For the deserters used to swallow such pieces of gold, as we told you before, when they came out: and for these did the seditious search them all. For there was a great quantity of gold in the city. Insomuch, that as much was now sold [in the Roman camp] for twelve attick [drams], as was sold before for twenty five. But when this contrivance was discovered in one instance, the fame of it filled their several camps, that the deserters came to them full of gold. So the multitude of the Arabians, with the Syrians, cut up those that came as supplicants, and searched their bellies. Nor does it seem to me, that any misery befel the Jews that was more terrible than this: since in one night’s time about two thousand of these deserters were thus dissected.”
-Flavius Josephus, “The Jewish Wars” book V. https://penelope.uchicago.edu/josephus/war-5.html
…so no, never ate gold or jewels.
But never say never.
Especially when under a present prospect of war and genocide.
1
I summoned Cthulhu once, but she turned out to be an ex-wife…
3
I got 5 points. What do I win?
2
Hey, I got one point!
3
Never have I ever done any of those things.
So … 24 points for me!
Ouch. I think I may have married a sock puppet. She vomits whatever lsm and fb tell her to vomit.
One point.
*I never have posed as black, gay, female, or democrat…
However, I have indeed slept with a ghost in Dallas.
*True story
do tell
Well, count me out. I’ve actually cauterized a hotdog while demoing a piece of laser equipment.
Slept with a ghost? I once stayed at small hotel in Atlanta. It was more of a B&B than a hotel, except they had a full service bar that locals came to. They all talked about this place having had a spooky past. I was there for 5 nights, work trip. I wish I could remember the place so I could tell you to stay away.
I confess to defanging a sand worm and having a third salad.
+2 What do I win?
Come on down!…
I’ve smoked a Bible page, if that counts. Hey, when you’ve got no papers…….
I’ve taught basketweaving. Meh. At least it’s a useful skill for prepping.
And cauterized a hotdog. During a power distribution display. And you should see what fun a mylar balloon does against a power line…
That trading skin with a bear? That’s an old Norse thing. It makes you a bearzerker…
Seriously, I used to travel for work and one night I stayed at a crappy hotel in Arlington, Texas in the late 80’s.
It was like an old motor lodge.
I lay down in the bed and a couple of seconds later I felt someone get up from the bed.
Only problem was that I was alone!
I jumped up and turned on the light.
My heart was nearly beating out of my chest.
I had not fallen asleep, it happened right after I laid down.
The odd thing is, a year earlier I had been T-boned in an accident by someone running a red light a mile from this hotel.
I wasn’t hurt but I heard that the guy who hit me had a seizure and died in the hospital that evening.
Even more oddly, I went to the hospital to be checked out for insurance purposes and that same morning a plane had crashed at DFW.
The hospital was packed since there were many survivors that were injured.
This story is 100%. No need to lie.
I bullshit far too much but this is exactly what happened.
From this point on I will always believe in external spirits.
I was aiming at Yoko.
Strange but true……weird but real.
Never have I ever witnessed my country come so close to destroying itself while at the hands of a buffoon and a whore.
@Eugenia: That’s funny, right there.
Oh, and I have slept with a goat.
Ghost? Oh.
Never mind
Joe6 has actually met me face to face*, so he knows I may be loco, but that’s not the same as insane…
*We went to see President Trump in Vegas, joe6 bought me an expensive dinner at NYNY and I didn’t even put out. His wonderful wife is certainly glad!
Is carbonizing a hot dog the same as cauterizing one? If not, I got nothing.
I never ate a kale chip.
And I doubt I ever will.
Third salad … in my lifetime or all in one day?
I wish I could trade skin with a bear. Better yet, with my 30-year old self!
Does it count if your snake has shingles?
Who makes up this stuff???
No to all obviously.
I’ve done all those things … TWICE!
Lol Tsunami.
Think you’ll get online ads for Kommiela kneepads and Biden memory pills?
I did prank call an owl. I use an owl call while while turkey hunting to locate turkeys before dawn. The sound aggravates the gobblers and causes them to gobble. Anyway, there was an owl in a tree near me and we held a conversation for a while before it finally got frustrated and flew away.
I never want to do those acts.
Don’t mess with my BIBLE.
Add to that: “Needed a celebrity’s opinion”
I may have called somebody else “white Oprah” or something similar.
Never done any of those things. Seen a few of them in the movies, though.
Jethro – The owl probably thought he was talking to a liberal.
Nope. None of those. Also, I’ve never…
— bench pressed tapioca pudding
— performed brain surgery on a parsnip
— said, “Hold my 18-year-old Macallan”
— welded a waffle
— hired an illegal alien from Arcturus
I have, however, taken the Lord’s name in vain, but that’s between Him and me.
Didn’t get any points but I do have some new things on my bucket list.
Could you add kick a political in the groin to that? I’d REALLY like to do that!
My late wife used to jokingly refer to the the day old bread store/outlets as the used bread store. My daughter in a conversation with one of her coworkers recently called it that as well and her friend had to ask her what a used bread store was. It was a mom thing believe me. And she used to tell me that snarky was not a word and it was something that I made up.
Three points.
One of which was inventing dice. Or at least manufacturing them… During the short stent at seminary they actually had a half ass machine shop where we took hunks of plexiglass glass and cut them into squares for dice. Poorly done with the “dots” drilled into them being not properly positioned.
They imported immigrant nuns from Italy to run the kitchen to feed the place and one of them almost took off a finger with a ban saw. Bet you didn’t know that meat cutting was part of shop class.
Good Times!
Seriously? Who hasn’t milked a spider? Sexy!
Damn… I taught basket-weaving merit badge on summer camp staff in ’82… 😳
“Eaten Jewelry”
…no, I’ve not done this, but I can’t say it will never happen.
Neither can you.
…when the Nazis moved the “undesirables” to concentration camps, it wasn’t unusal for them to steal absolutely everything of value from them, heirloom jewelry and wedding rings included.
Swallowing them was the only way to presevere ANYTHING.
“She took her audience through her family’s journey to Auschwitz. Zisblatt said she saw her family enter the death chamber and she doesn’t know why they let her live. She knew that she had to survive the darkness that was the Holocaust so that she could be the voices of the millions of children that were killed.
Around her neck hung a necklace with four diamonds that once belonged to her mother. Before the Nazis took Zisblatt’s family to Auschwitz, her mother hid the jewels by sewing them into Irene’s skirt. The diamonds were the only connection she had left of her mother, and Zisblatt took extreme measures to protect them. While in the Auschwitz camp, Zisblatt had to repeatedly swallow the diamonds and excrete them in order to keep them from being taken from her.
“Every time I saw danger I swallowed them,” Zisblatt said. “Once a week, once a month, [it] depends what happened that day.””
https://www.collegian.psu.edu/news/campus/article_98dc817c-19b2-11e7-bfe9-c7200a7a39fd.html
…there are examples throughout history, one of the more egregious being during the siege of Jerusalem in 70 AD when Titus permitted Jewish surrenders and encamped them near Syrian auxilaries. In order to avoid their gold being taken by fanatic political factions within the city, they swallowed it. One of them made a tactical mistake of excreting and recovering it too close to the Syrians, and…
“1. As Josephus was speaking thus, with a loud voice, the seditious would neither yield to what he said; nor did they deem it safe for them to alter their conduct. But as for the people, they had a great inclination to desert to the Romans. Accordingly some of them sold what they had, and even the most precious things that had been laid up as treasures by them, for every small matter: and swallowed down pieces of gold, that they might not be found out by the robbers. And when they had escaped to the Romans went to stool, and had wherewithal to provide plentifully for themselves. For Titus let a great number of them go away into the country, whither they pleased. And the main reasons why they were so ready to desert were these; that now they should be freed from those miseries which they had endured in that city; and yet should not be in slavery to the Romans. However, John and Simon, with their factions, did more carefully watch these mens going out, than they did the coming in of the Romans. And if any one did but afford the least shadow of suspicion of such an intention, his throat was cut immediately.”
…
“4. Hereupon some of the deserters, having no other way, leaped down from the wall immediately; while others of them went out of the city, with stones, as if they would fight them: but thereupon they fled away to the Romans. But here a worse fate accompanied these, than what they had found within the city: and they met with a quicker dispatch from the too great abundance they had among the Romans, than they could have done from the famine among the Jews. For when they came first to the Romans, they were puffed up by the famine, and swelled like men in a dropsy. After which, they all on the sudden over-filled those bodies, that were before empty, and so burst asunder: excepting such only as were skilful enough to restrain their appetites; and by degrees took in their food into bodies unaccustomed thereto. Yet did another plague seize upon those that were thus preserved. For there was found among the Syrian deserters a certain person who was caught gathering pieces of gold out of the excrements of the Jews bellies. For the deserters used to swallow such pieces of gold, as we told you before, when they came out: and for these did the seditious search them all. For there was a great quantity of gold in the city. Insomuch, that as much was now sold [in the Roman camp] for twelve attick [drams], as was sold before for twenty five. But when this contrivance was discovered in one instance, the fame of it filled their several camps, that the deserters came to them full of gold. So the multitude of the Arabians, with the Syrians, cut up those that came as supplicants, and searched their bellies. Nor does it seem to me, that any misery befel the Jews that was more terrible than this: since in one night’s time about two thousand of these deserters were thus dissected.”
-Flavius Josephus, “The Jewish Wars” book V.
https://penelope.uchicago.edu/josephus/war-5.html
…so no, never ate gold or jewels.
But never say never.
Especially when under a present prospect of war and genocide.
I summoned Cthulhu once, but she turned out to be an ex-wife…
I got 5 points. What do I win?
Hey, I got one point!
Never have I ever done any of those things.
So … 24 points for me!
What I win?
izlamo delenda est …