Well Hello! You don look like a Blue Spaniard, but you smell like one!
1
Q: what be a pirate’s favored musket?
A: the A-Argh15
12
If I were a pirate I could be Geoff the Arghvark. And I could have a steering wheel in my pants that was driving me nuts.
17
That meal will cost you an arm and a leg.
5
I followed the recipe last night and I feel a little groggy this morning.
5
And now for some pirate jokes. What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard into the Red Sea? He got marooned! What do you call a pirate with two arms and two legs? A rookie! What did the pirate say when he became an octogenerian? Aye matey years old! I love good and bad jokes of all kinds.
‘Arm and a leg’ was the punchline to an old Jeffrey Dahmer joke. Heh.
5
What’s a pirates’ favorite letter? You’d think it be arrr, but his first love is the sea.
9
Did you hear about the new pirate movie?
It’s rated Aarrgh.
5
And that was great
1
Sns that was great. Auto correct not so much
1
…I’ve been on a Jolly Roger flagged vessel before…we sailed on the mighty Belle of Cincinnati from the hive of scum and villainy that IS Newport, KY, invaded Augusta with our very bad tastes in tourist clothes and left dirty lunch plates in our wake as we retreated past Rosemary Clooney’s house to reboard out Bonnie boat with our plunder of faux antiques and tourist tchotchkes, withdrawing to our lair to ride the Duck boat later.
…oh, by the way that review is NOT me and I do NOT know those people or have ever talked to or met anyone on that thread, so if you send them hate meant for me, you’re just going to miss me and confuse them, so don’t bother.
…this was years ago that we last did that, and at the time you could go up to the wheelhouse and sit behind the Captain and crew on a bench abd ask stupid questions, so of course I did ask him about it. He told me maritime regulations required hostile boats to fly it to signal unfriendly approach to other boats, but didn’t say why they were hostile, OR why pirates would care about maritime regulations.
…althogh he did ALSO say the sear in the wheelhouse was called the “Liar’s Bench”, which kind of explains what that previous statement probably was…
…anyway, that’s my pirate cred, launching my pizza and ice cream eating crew on the hapless shores of the Bluegrass State. Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Maalox!
I suspect the pirate supernightshade would torture his victims with long boring speeches before cutting their throats or making them walk the plank…
1
Anonymous
APRIL 11, 2021 AT 2:49 PM
…nope. they’d be so bored, they’d kill THEMSELVES.
It’s the Kevorkian strategy, it puts your blood on your OWN hands.
Works pretty good, too.
…I remember this time I was talking to this guy in 19 dickety 2, which we had to say “dickety” because Sadam Hussain stole our number “ninety”. Anyway, there we were, outnumbered 10 to 1 when this nice lady,Jane I think it was, said there would be pudding later. Well I can tell you that the whole classroom was ready to play mumbldy peg for THAT! And it reminded me of when my pet lorikeet ate the hat off Queen Elizabeth, no, not the English one, the OTHER one, the one with the staples…you know, the ones that they put in because the hole she tore to her pancreas was too big for just a butterfly. Butterflies LIKE butterfly bushes, you know, that’s why they call them that, but they don’t like Jeb bushes, too low energy, like his brother that lost us our number 90 when that guy threw a shoe at him…
(notices Anonymous is lolling in his chair)
…you know, whippersnaper, in MY day, the kids were MUCH more resistant to rambling, probably because our parents were world class in telling us how they walked uphill both ways in the snow in the summer to get to their school because no one could afford nice weather. They had nothing, and were damn glad to have it.
…so anyway, when Bush and Sadam were hunting butterflies, they were both startled when a Yeti walked up, but it was only Michelle Obama and Bush had to tell her she wasn’t in this story yet while the pollen on the butterflies wings blew off and gave Putin the sneezes because he was hiding in a nearby Bush. NOT a Jeb Bush either, althogh that guys pants were so big, he could have, he just didn’t like the smell in there, kind of lemony and tired.
Speaking of tired, young one, you look a little peaked. Well, I’m sure you have knives in your house and there’s plenty of instructions on the Interwebs about how you can use them to end it all, so maybe you can multitasking. That’s something I had to do when I was working full time, doing 12 hour squad shifts, and going to full-time college so I couldn’t sleep at ALL for most of the dicketys, let me tell you all about it…
To err is human, to arr is pirate! Why was the pirate frightened after seeing his doctor? He was told that he was on his last leg. A pirate goes to his doctor to see what the spots on his arm are. The doctor examines him & says their benign, the pirate replies, no doc, there be eleven, I counted them before I came in! No applause, just throw money, I’m here all week!
Well Hello! You don look like a Blue Spaniard, but you smell like one!
Q: what be a pirate’s favored musket?
A: the A-Argh15
If I were a pirate I could be Geoff the Arghvark. And I could have a steering wheel in my pants that was driving me nuts.
That meal will cost you an arm and a leg.
I followed the recipe last night and I feel a little groggy this morning.
And now for some pirate jokes. What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard into the Red Sea? He got marooned! What do you call a pirate with two arms and two legs? A rookie! What did the pirate say when he became an octogenerian? Aye matey years old! I love good and bad jokes of all kinds.
…sorry, this had to be done…
https://youtu.be/i8ju_10NkGY?t=2
‘Arm and a leg’ was the punchline to an old Jeffrey Dahmer joke. Heh.
What’s a pirates’ favorite letter? You’d think it be arrr, but his first love is the sea.
Did you hear about the new pirate movie?
It’s rated Aarrgh.
And that was great
Sns that was great. Auto correct not so much
…I’ve been on a Jolly Roger flagged vessel before…we sailed on the mighty Belle of Cincinnati from the hive of scum and villainy that IS Newport, KY, invaded Augusta with our very bad tastes in tourist clothes and left dirty lunch plates in our wake as we retreated past Rosemary Clooney’s house to reboard out Bonnie boat with our plunder of faux antiques and tourist tchotchkes, withdrawing to our lair to ride the Duck boat later.
…good times, good times…
…in case you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about, an outfit called BB Riverboats ran dinner cruises and such on the Ohio, and for some reason they had pirate flags on them. They looked like this;
https://www.tripadvisor.com/LocationPhotoDirectLink-g39707-d527338-i206246146-BB_Riverboats-Newport_Kentucky.html
…oh, by the way that review is NOT me and I do NOT know those people or have ever talked to or met anyone on that thread, so if you send them hate meant for me, you’re just going to miss me and confuse them, so don’t bother.
…this was years ago that we last did that, and at the time you could go up to the wheelhouse and sit behind the Captain and crew on a bench abd ask stupid questions, so of course I did ask him about it. He told me maritime regulations required hostile boats to fly it to signal unfriendly approach to other boats, but didn’t say why they were hostile, OR why pirates would care about maritime regulations.
…althogh he did ALSO say the sear in the wheelhouse was called the “Liar’s Bench”, which kind of explains what that previous statement probably was…
…anyway, that’s my pirate cred, launching my pizza and ice cream eating crew on the hapless shores of the Bluegrass State. Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of Maalox!
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/disney/images/4/42/CaptainTeagueOST.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20151123050319
I suspect the pirate supernightshade would torture his victims with long boring speeches before cutting their throats or making them walk the plank…
Anonymous
APRIL 11, 2021 AT 2:49 PM
…nope. they’d be so bored, they’d kill THEMSELVES.
It’s the Kevorkian strategy, it puts your blood on your OWN hands.
Works pretty good, too.
…I remember this time I was talking to this guy in 19 dickety 2, which we had to say “dickety” because Sadam Hussain stole our number “ninety”. Anyway, there we were, outnumbered 10 to 1 when this nice lady,Jane I think it was, said there would be pudding later. Well I can tell you that the whole classroom was ready to play mumbldy peg for THAT! And it reminded me of when my pet lorikeet ate the hat off Queen Elizabeth, no, not the English one, the OTHER one, the one with the staples…you know, the ones that they put in because the hole she tore to her pancreas was too big for just a butterfly. Butterflies LIKE butterfly bushes, you know, that’s why they call them that, but they don’t like Jeb bushes, too low energy, like his brother that lost us our number 90 when that guy threw a shoe at him…
(notices Anonymous is lolling in his chair)
…you know, whippersnaper, in MY day, the kids were MUCH more resistant to rambling, probably because our parents were world class in telling us how they walked uphill both ways in the snow in the summer to get to their school because no one could afford nice weather. They had nothing, and were damn glad to have it.
…so anyway, when Bush and Sadam were hunting butterflies, they were both startled when a Yeti walked up, but it was only Michelle Obama and Bush had to tell her she wasn’t in this story yet while the pollen on the butterflies wings blew off and gave Putin the sneezes because he was hiding in a nearby Bush. NOT a Jeb Bush either, althogh that guys pants were so big, he could have, he just didn’t like the smell in there, kind of lemony and tired.
Speaking of tired, young one, you look a little peaked. Well, I’m sure you have knives in your house and there’s plenty of instructions on the Interwebs about how you can use them to end it all, so maybe you can multitasking. That’s something I had to do when I was working full time, doing 12 hour squad shifts, and going to full-time college so I couldn’t sleep at ALL for most of the dicketys, let me tell you all about it…
https://youtu.be/omECDMfbu4k
To err is human, to arr is pirate! Why was the pirate frightened after seeing his doctor? He was told that he was on his last leg. A pirate goes to his doctor to see what the spots on his arm are. The doctor examines him & says their benign, the pirate replies, no doc, there be eleven, I counted them before I came in! No applause, just throw money, I’m here all week!