Washington, DC– The NSA announced Friday in a closed door meeting with the House Homeland Security Committee that the agency once again expects to be overwhelmed by the email, text and telephone traffic on ‘Birthing Person Day’ this Weekend.
Taking time out of the Homeland Security Committee’s Jan 6th Kabuki Theater, N.S.A. director General Paul Nakasone told the committee that tracking of over 110 million text messages and emails will tax our limits of capacity for information gathering on Americans, adding to the agencies normal heavy load of domestic taps”. more
14 Comments on NSA Warns of Being Overwhelmed by ‘Birthing Person Day’ Messages
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How about you assholes just stop tracking everything, m’kay? You always get caught by surprise, anyway.
Every morning I birth a few politicians, but I don’t message anyone about it.
Solution: stop reading our texts
This is satire, I hope. If we had called Mother’s Day Birthing persons day at my work delivering a ton of Mother’s Day flowers this past week my boss would’ve kicked our ass let alone my customers. I can’t believe how many flowers I delivered this past week, it was unbelievable and was our busiest week of year even above Valentines Day.
A couple of emails and texts and these pusses shut down?
Damn. If I knew it was so easy I would do it every day.
If the approximately 50 million Republicvnt texted ten to twenty times a day, the NSA’s pooper would definitely be pegged.
The best satire is satire that is so close to reality that people can’t tell it is satire.
Correct prog term is “biofronthole birthing person.”
This is funny satire that sadly is based on reality. IOTW is high on the list of deplorable surveillance.
So fuck you NSA, and every Trojan horse you ride in on.
You may continue to have fucktards like youselves troll this site and attempt to stir up more patriots to monitor.
We will continue to mock you and them you dirty un-American pinko deep state globalist bastards.
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Born in 1963. He would’ve been around 10 when Vietnam war ended.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_M._Nakasone
Think of the fun to be had with a few BitchQuoin machines running email bots with spoofed addresses and highly triggering keywords.
Reference above was to comments on original article where someone questioned the general not having Vietnam service ribbon. Was born in 1963. Too late for Vietnam service.