You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t lead a Horticulture.
5
I have decided to leave my past behind, so if I owe you money, I’m sorry, I’ve moved on.
7
@ 6:28: u can lead a ***** to culture, but you can’t…
3
The BeeGees. They didn’t stay alive.
1
In a developing story from the Vatican tonight, we have learned that Pope Frances has taken great umbrage with the Vatican Laundry Chief, Bartolomeo Umbria, who told journalists in an interview last week that the Pope’s underpants were “holy”.
Pope Francis was so irate, according to our sources, that he threatened to toss the Laundry Chief “into his own laundry basket”, which would be tantamount to firing him. The sometimes earthy Pope also said he would call a news conference and show the world several pairs of his underpants and prove that they had no holes whatever in them, except for the usual one meant for taking a leak.
Pope Frances’s Vatican aids have cautioned him not to show journalists any soiled underpants from his laundry basket.
The Pope’s response: Who do you think I am, Shitstain Melvin?
1
Why did the rabbits go on strike? They wanted a better celery! Two termites are talking on the phone and calls another termite by mistake who tells him sorry wrong lumber.
2
When I visited Australia, the immigration officer asked me if I had a criminal record…
Confused, I replied, “Oh, is that still required?”
13
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.
The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
From Criminal Jokes, as is the one prior.
3
The difference between a pick pocket and a window peeker?
One snatches watches.
3
What did the salmon say when it hit a wall?
Dam!
What did the plow say to the tractor?
Pull me closer, John Deere!
3
Truckbuddy
FRIDAY, 10 MAY 2024, 18:28 AT 6:28 PM
“Use “Horticulture” in a sentence.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t lead a Horticulture.”
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”
-Dorothy Parker
A passenger piled his luggage on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the ticket agent, “I’m flying to Los Angeles and I want the large bag sent to Denver and the two small ones to Cincinnati.”
“Sorry sir we can’t do that,” the agent replied.
“That’s good to hear,” the passenger said, because that’s where they ended up the last time I flew this route.”
7
I was walking in the park and this guy waved to me. Then he said, ‘sorry’, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.’
3
Why did Billy Jean King retire from tennis?
She had licked all of her opponents.
2
A woman gave birth to twins, and gave them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named “Amal.” The other son went to a family in Spain; they named him “Juan.” Years later Juan tracks down his birth mother and sent a picture of himself to his Mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responded, “But they are twins—if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”
5
Cats are smarter than dogs. You couldn’t get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow.
3
What do people in Finland say when they have completed a task?
“It’s Danished” or sometimes “It’s Swedished”.
Chris and Joe stated a garage band, they named it Fredo and Pedo…
Use “Horticulture” in a sentence.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t lead a Horticulture.
I have decided to leave my past behind, so if I owe you money, I’m sorry, I’ve moved on.
@ 6:28: u can lead a ***** to culture, but you can’t…
The BeeGees. They didn’t stay alive.
In a developing story from the Vatican tonight, we have learned that Pope Frances has taken great umbrage with the Vatican Laundry Chief, Bartolomeo Umbria, who told journalists in an interview last week that the Pope’s underpants were “holy”.
Pope Francis was so irate, according to our sources, that he threatened to toss the Laundry Chief “into his own laundry basket”, which would be tantamount to firing him. The sometimes earthy Pope also said he would call a news conference and show the world several pairs of his underpants and prove that they had no holes whatever in them, except for the usual one meant for taking a leak.
Pope Frances’s Vatican aids have cautioned him not to show journalists any soiled underpants from his laundry basket.
The Pope’s response: Who do you think I am, Shitstain Melvin?
Why did the rabbits go on strike? They wanted a better celery! Two termites are talking on the phone and calls another termite by mistake who tells him sorry wrong lumber.
When I visited Australia, the immigration officer asked me if I had a criminal record…
Confused, I replied, “Oh, is that still required?”
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.
The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
From Criminal Jokes, as is the one prior.
The difference between a pick pocket and a window peeker?
One snatches watches.
What did the salmon say when it hit a wall?
Dam!
What did the plow say to the tractor?
Pull me closer, John Deere!
Truckbuddy
FRIDAY, 10 MAY 2024, 18:28 AT 6:28 PM
“Use “Horticulture” in a sentence.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t lead a Horticulture.”
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”
-Dorothy Parker
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/52358/25-dorothy-parkers-best-quotes
A passenger piled his luggage on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the ticket agent, “I’m flying to Los Angeles and I want the large bag sent to Denver and the two small ones to Cincinnati.”
“Sorry sir we can’t do that,” the agent replied.
“That’s good to hear,” the passenger said, because that’s where they ended up the last time I flew this route.”
I was walking in the park and this guy waved to me. Then he said, ‘sorry’, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.’
Why did Billy Jean King retire from tennis?
She had licked all of her opponents.
A woman gave birth to twins, and gave them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named “Amal.” The other son went to a family in Spain; they named him “Juan.” Years later Juan tracks down his birth mother and sent a picture of himself to his Mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responded, “But they are twins—if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”
Cats are smarter than dogs. You couldn’t get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow.
What do people in Finland say when they have completed a task?
“It’s Danished” or sometimes “It’s Swedished”.
Chris and Joe stated a garage band, they named it Fredo and Pedo…
Joe Biden got 81 million votes!