Scotland, Where the Haggis Runs Free – IOTW Report

Scotland, Where the Haggis Runs Free

PetaPixel

Haggis is as Scottish as tartan and ginger hair. But many foreigners are clueless as to what haggis actually is and Scots are using AI images to fill in the blanks.

The myth of “wild haggis” predates artificial intelligence: canny Scots have been playfully misleading tourists for years pretending that haggis is a small, furry creative that roams around the Scottish Highlands.

In the myth, a haggis is said to resemble a cross between a rodent and a bird. The story goes that the wild haggis has legs of unequal length, which allows it to run effortlessly around the steep hills and mountains of Scotland—always in one direction. More

32 Comments on Scotland, Where the Haggis Runs Free

  1. “There is a feeling which persists in England that making a sandwich interesting, attractive, or in any way pleasant to eat is something sinful that only foreigners do. “Make ’em dry”is the instruction buried somewhere in the collective national consciousness, “make ’em rubbery. If you have to keep the buggers fresh, do it by washing ’em once a week.”

    It is by eating sandwiches in pubs at Saturday lunchtime that the British seek to atone for whatever their national sins have been. They’re not altogether clear what those sins are, and don’t want to know either. Sins are not the sort of things one wants to know about. But whatever sins there are are amply atoned for by the sandwiches they make themselves eat.

    If there is anything worse than the sandwiches, it is the sausages which sit next to them. Joyless tubes, full of gristle, floating in a sea of something hot and sad, stuck with a plastic pin in the shape of a chef’s hat: a memorial, one feels, for some chef who hated the world, and died, forgotten and alone among his cats on a back stair in Stepney.

    The sausages are for the ones who know what their sins are and wish to atone for something specific.”
    -Douglas Adams, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy”

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  2. I had spotted dick once. I got it from Calamity Jane when she wanted to see Dick run and boy oh boy did it bubble and squeak right after I put my banger in her mash….

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  3. I understand that haggis (haggisses?) are so rare because they are co-predators with the similarly rare snipe. Haggis v. snipe fights are better than mongoose v. cobra or even tranny v. TERF.

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  4. They look like sheep-sized guinea pigs. The video didn’t indicate that anyone in Scotland would ever eat one, so they must taste terrible. Because Scots are known for their whiskey to wash down their cuisine, I would imagine.

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  5. I think the question we are all missing is why is Dr. Tar linking stuff he got from Fark??? I see you!
    Fark was my primary source for news for many years. It finally got too leftist, but it’s still an interesting site.

    Since my last name is in fact Scottish (and my family has a castle, which is supposedly hainted!), when I went to a ‘Robbie Burns Night’ at a local L.A. restaurant a few years ago I forced myself to give haggis a try. It is literally offal – and the taste is awful. Once was enough!

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  6. Uncle Al, wild haggis is in the same imaginary category as snipes, sea bats, jackalopes, hoop snakes etc. They’re all fig newtons of someone’s wild imagination after drinking too much beer or other alcoholic beverages to excess. I’d eat haggis before I would ever eat a balut in the Philippines.

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  7. @Left Coast Dan – I do occasional find stories like this on Fark.com, but as you’ve observed it has skewed to the left pretty noticeable in the Biden years. I go there a lot less often, usually when I need a change of pace and a bit of levity. It doesn’t provide as well as it use to.

    I did take out a subscription to Ground.news to have another source. It claims to be neutral with a system for distinguishing stories favored by the left and the right. I sometimes find something interesting there now and again.

    Do you have any recommendations I should be looking at as well for stories?

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  8. Left Coast Dan
    Friday, 31 January 2025, 18:26 at 6:26 pm

    “Since my last name is in fact Scottish (and my family has a castle, which is supposedly hainted!), when I went to a ‘Robbie Burns Night’ ”

    …Och, laddie! Son of the Auld Sod here, and with an official Laird title from “Established Titles” to boot!

    I have a question about remembering the poet Bobbie Burns…

    …A teacher once was educating her class with a mnemonic device on the Scots poet Bobby Burns.

    “Class, just think of an English policeman, a Bobby, on fire! See, Bobbie Burns!”

    A young man in the back raised his hand, and she called on him.”

    “But teacher, how do we know it isn’t Robert Browning?”

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  9. @SNS – lol
    @Dr. Tar – I do very little these days online, so I’m not a good one to ask. My circuit of 5 sites is Facebook (a variety of opinionated friends!), X, iotw, Twitchy, and Not the Bee. I feel I get comprehensive enough coverage from those, and the variety of links I get from them.
    There were some epic comment threads on Fark though, back in the day. And on 9/11 I was glued to the site, some very knowledgeable commenters there who would be at home here on iotw. And a lot of *other* commenters.

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  10. Haggis may be a bit stomach churning, but I got a look at the full ingredients list for Vienna Sausages.It makes pink chicken slime look like Whole Foods organic.

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