A Year End Review of Things Stuck in Rear Ends – IOTW Report

A Year End Review of Things Stuck in Rear Ends

Defector

If you’ve ever put anything inside yourself and gotten it out again without needing medical attention: Congratulations! Things went way better for you than they did for so many other poor souls. This is a tribute to American ingenuity, American perseverance, and above all else, American recklessness.

All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and always remember that a flared base is your best friend.

As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south Extract

22 Comments on A Year End Review of Things Stuck in Rear Ends

  1. Mayor Secretary General Pete has his hands full watching Zoom Streams of so many Luggage Sneakers and Bad Actors claiming missing medications and lubricants that he can’t handle other pressing International Transportation Projects.

    Not to mention that his husband and he are having some personel post-partum depressions and missed friends and need some alone times, just the 3 of them.

    It’s only gonna get worse.

    Wait’ll February.
    And also whats between now and then.
    Chillier and Sillier

    4
  2. I WONT EVEN GO FOR A COLONOSCOPY!
    AFTER I’m 65 MAYBE.

    We shit on a stick and mail it in.
    I wanted to be really sure so I sent a 2 pounds to Ottawa.

    no Idea why the RCMP wants to come over for a visit…

    6
  3. My two favorites:

    “PUT IN BUTT PLUG THEN FELL ASLEEP, NOW CAN’T FIND BUTT PLUG”

    “SENT IN BY WIFE FOR POSSIBLE 16OZ GLASS BOTTLE IN RECTUM”

    Where is SNS? He usually has a few to add to the list.

Comments are closed.