Defector
If you’ve ever put anything inside yourself and gotten it out again without needing medical attention: Congratulations! Things went way better for you than they did for so many other poor souls. This is a tribute to American ingenuity, American perseverance, and above all else, American recklessness.
The year did not come out well in the end.
THEY FREED ADAM SCHIFF TO RUN FOR SENATE!….Twice maybe trhree times….
Q. Are you gonna put that Christmas tree up yourself?
A. No, I’m gonna put it up in the living room, you sick bastard.
And back to the early days of IOTW we had the KAZOO…Maybe FUR will remember her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p4cA0eSJKA
So, is the CPSC going to force recalls on everything that dumbasses can jamb up their assholes?
Mayor Secretary General Pete has his hands full watching Zoom Streams of so many Luggage Sneakers and Bad Actors claiming missing medications and lubricants that he can’t handle other pressing International Transportation Projects.
Not to mention that his husband and he are having some personel post-partum depressions and missed friends and need some alone times, just the 3 of them.
It’s only gonna get worse.
Wait’ll February.
And also whats between now and then.
Chillier and Sillier
I WONT EVEN GO FOR A COLONOSCOPY!
AFTER I’m 65 MAYBE.
We shit on a stick and mail it in.
I wanted to be really sure so I sent a 2 pounds to Ottawa.
no Idea why the RCMP wants to come over for a visit…
The patient complained of rectal pain. The patient’s rectum was found to contain several tiny horses. The patient’s condition is stable.
I did a lot of SMH, but only one was a LOL:
Vagina
◦ SCREW
They didn’t mention Joe Biden’s head. STrange.
IRS probe didn’t make the list.
Whatever happened to Goatse?
Rickroll
Hmmm … no hammers … I guess Paul Pelosi didn’t have to go to the hospital …
mortem tyrannis
izlamo delenda est …
Nancy P: Doctor, My husband has a hammer in his asshole.
Doctor: Rectum.
Nancy P. Rectum, it damn near killed him.
Million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.
Wild Bill; I hear Goatse was abducted by aliens, and never heard from again.
My two favorites:
“PUT IN BUTT PLUG THEN FELL ASLEEP, NOW CAN’T FIND BUTT PLUG”
“SENT IN BY WIFE FOR POSSIBLE 16OZ GLASS BOTTLE IN RECTUM”
Where is SNS? He usually has a few to add to the list.
AOC’s head up her own
overheard at the proctologist’s office in San Francisco
“I don’t know how it got in there just get it out”
I once got a Cessna 172 stuck in my ass …
I don’t know about things stuck in rear ends, but there’s a rear end stuck in the white house…