Aaron Burr needs help – Name his dog. – IOTW Report

Aaron Burr needs help – Name his dog.

Friday, 23 October 2020, 17:38 BFH Uncategorized 173

He didn’t like my suggestion of Adolf Pitler.

I thought it was better than his choices –

Stabpuppy, or Murderbitch.

I didn’t know it was a girl when I suggested Ballzout.

So, he needs some additional help.

Keep in mind this is Burr’s dog. It’s not going to be named Daisy.

I’m pretty sure this is simply a post about “most inappropriate dog names.”

173 Comments on Aaron Burr needs help – Name his dog.

  18. Well, so far no suggestion is very popular. Hopefully, there will be an inspirational name put out there later. I have faith that the right name will be revealed.

    2

  27. …need more info.

    Does he LIKE the dog?

    What kind IS it?

    Is it missing any limbs, tails, or ears?

    Does the dog like HIM?

    Is it SUPPOSED to?

    Is it trained to kill?

    Or is it trained to lead him to the bathroom?

    …sooo many questions, not enough answers…

    12

  29. Aaron Burr
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 6:05 PM

    “No ones suggested chinaman. I’m sorta dissapoinred”

    …to give it a TRULY Chinese flavor, you’d have to call it “Dinner”…

    …and you can only do it once…

    4

  33. …doesn’t matter, she’s gonna think her name is “Dammit!”, ’cause that’s what he’s gonna say every time he steps in her puddles in his socks…

    7

  45. Sally.

    Burr’s nickname for his only sibling, makes the most sense…

    OR It COULD be Theodosia, his Mrs’ name…shortened to Thea.

    OR ‘Sit’ or ‘Come Here’…

    1

  49. Crrrrrrap…… I don’t have a pic. She’s a puppy… about 8 weeks old. Black, white patch on back, mostly border collie but with short hair.

    She’s sweet, low key, well mannered, smart.

    Sara Jessica Barker has already been done. So has Virginia Woof.

    So I’m in a bind.

    It would be easy if it was a boy dog. Lamentably, there are few recognizable female names throughout history.

    Unless….. say, you guys like Bitchy Bitch Bitch Bitcherton?

    6

  54. I’m getting the dog because Kenny already has too many dogs and his giant pitbull likes to shove her snout under the puppy and flip her upside down.

    The dog came from…..some guy I guess. One of those “u want this here dog befores I drowns it?” deals. Kenny got it because he has all gurls in his house and gurls like puppies.

    Anyway, his gurls call it Ruthie or Ruby or some gay name.

    My dog can’t be named ruthie.

    Just….no.

    So that’s where I am. Little Kyle Broflovski needs a name for his dog.

    4

  55. “It would be easy if it was a boy dog. Lamentably, there are few recognizable female names throughout history.”

    AB you are a good Cat-lick boy, how about Joan? A righteous person and Saint?

    OR Liz for Elizabeth Ann Seton? An AMERICAN saint, the first one actually…

    OR Molly after Molly Pitcher? She took up arms when the chips were down…

    Flo for Florence Nightingale? Any nurses in the family?

    May for May West? Now SHE was a real cool funny BITCH…

    Abbie for….Abigail Adams (no relation to our OWN AA…)

    Ma for Ma Barker?

    4

  57. Bitch was suggested a long time ago – just not Bitchy Bitch Bitch Bitcherton, or, Bitch for short. I mean really, it’s a female dog. She’s a bitch. End of story. Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch (shit, sounds like my ex-wife)

    1

  59. Richard, as in Richard Plantagenet, Richard III. Yes, died at Bosworth, though in defiance of the treason perpetrated against him. He could have withdrawn to live another day, but chose to go in for the kill against the invading Tudor, like a badass.

    Henry Tudor had to kill or render ineffective anything Plantagenet to justify his very self, and to this day Richard still drives Tudorites so mad they flop around like drooling, rabid dogs.

    Just saw the bitch comment – in that case: Boudicca.

    4

  60. Aaron Burr
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 6:59 PM
    “The only skirt I respect is Amanda Whurlitzer.”

    …the ONLY?

    …if you have a wife and a mother, I’m sure they’d be glad to read that…

    3

  61. Name the dog Asshole. If anyone asks why the dog’s name is Asshole, lift her tail and point.
    Alternative name is Stay. Think of the fun you can have. Come here, Stay!

    3

  62. Rosa Barks?

    Milly Barky Brown?

    Barkyonce?

    Seriously…. the hell else do dogs do besides bark?

    PS…. supernightshade….. neither my mom nor my wife can throw a hanging curve ball. They know where I stand.

    4

  67. HOLY MOTHER OF SOME JEWISH GUY!!!

    Gun names! That’s brilliant.

    Now I just need to narrow it down from “boom stick” “smoke wagon” “roscoe” and “heater”.

    4

  69. Red Hand of Boo
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 7:03 PM

    “Boudicca”

    …I LOVE that one, but it didn’t end well for her, just like Celt vs. Roman never ended well ANYWHERE…

    …good history on the Plantagenet vs. Tudor thing, too. I liked reading it, but it’s a bit of an OT tangent, so I’m afraid I might be rubbing off on you since I do that all the time too…

    …but as long as we’re here, why not Mary Stuart for the dog’s name? SHE was an alright ruler for a bit and not a bad looking gal, and SHE was done in by a Tudor as well…

    https://www.biography.com/royalty/mary-queen-of-scots

    2

  71. call her ‘Stains’ … that way when you call her you yell “Come Stains!”, “Come Stains!” … that way the whole neighborhood will enjoy it too

    actually I like ‘Hell Bitch’

    10

  73. Aaron Burr
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 7:11 PM
    “.. neither my mom nor my wife can throw a hanging curve ball. They know where I stand.”

    …perhaps not, but they’ve hit every curve YOU’VE thrown them, so you gotta respect THAT…

    4

  78. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 7:20 PM
    “call her ‘Stains’ … that way when you call her you yell “Come Stains!”, “Come Stains!” … that way the whole neighborhood will enjoy it too”

    …or call it “Freeshow” and get a male dog named “Seymour”, because…

    “There was a woman who had two dogs, whom she named Seymour and Freeshow. One day, while taking a shower, she noticed through the bathroom window that she’d left the gate to her yard open, and the dogs were running away. Without stopping even to garb a towel, she ran out the house and after her dogs — completely naked — calling after them: “Freeshow! Seymour!”

    http://www.joeydevilla.com/2019/03/26/todays-florida-headline-reminds-me-of-my-favorite-dirty-joke-in-4th-grade/

    1

  79. Mellie? Short for Melania. I had a friend who named his sweet Bernese that. Melania is too long and it could be used when you’re mad. “Melania Burr; get over here right now!!”

    Betsy? Betsy Ross

    4

  83. Brad
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 5:43 PM
    “Hamilton”

    …I think that’s a GREAT name for “Aaron Burr”‘s dog for obvious reasons, as does everyone ELSE to judge by the upvotes, but just two little problems:

    1) I don’t think his ACTUAL name is “Aaron Burr”, so he’d probably get tired of explaining it to non-blogging friends, family, and neighbors.

    2) I don’t think the REAL Aaron Burr LIKED Hamilton very much, and (I hope) OUR “Aaron Burr” wants a somewhat BETTER relationship than that with his dog.

    …other than that, its my hands-down favorite, so maybe he should get a boy dog that dislikes him and do THAT, too…

    2

  84. Aaron Burr
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 7:23 PM

    “PS… I do like tits….

    Maybe mix up boobs and guns.”

    …well, AK-44DD, but it might be a little hard to yell at her in the park…

    4

  89. Ruby Von TitPanzer

    Damn that sounds good.

    PS. and for the curious…. I don’t know what my actual name is. I know my adoptive name…..and I know the 15 or so nicknames I’ve earned over time. People currently call me Kyle. As in Kyle Brovlovski.

    Just like I call my buddy Kenny and we both call the asshoe we know Cartman.

    6

  91. Margaret Thatcher. Maggie

    Anyone remember the commenter here who went by “Boobie the Rocket Dog”. That was his dog’s name.

    There ya go.

    Is there a porn star you like Mr Burr? Pick a name from that! Poor dog!

    A gun name: “Trigger!”

    6

  93. Aaron Burr
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 7:23 PM

    “PS… I do like tits….

    …given your understandable mammarian fixation, perhaps you will find this song inspiring, good Aaron…

    https://youtu.be/_7S6Cn1xVvU

    “I like big tits
    You see ’em on the street
    Left and right
    I like big tits (that’s right)
    I try to look away but i can’t resist
    Every time I try to call it quits
    Hear come some tits
    (That’s a big 10-4; big tits)
    (Uh huh)
    I like big tits (uh huh)
    Tits
    Well they come in twos
    Hard to choose
    Your favorite tit (uh huh)
    I like tits for dinner
    Or a noon time snack
    I like tits for lunch;
    A big tit attack
    I like tits for breakfast
    (Eggs bendict tits)
    (What it is)
    They’re where its at
    Tits
    They give me shivers
    When they bounce around
    Puckered up or hanging on the ground
    I like big tits
    (Uh huh)
    Tits (says it all for me)
    Tits”
    “ILBT”, Joe Walsh

    1

  94. RUBY VON TITPANZER WILL CRUSH ALL OPPOSITION AND OCCUPY LENINGRAD BEFORE THE FIRST WINTER SNOWS.

    Wow. I need to get her a credit card application. She sounds impressive.

    3

  103. Burr,
    How bout’ two ‘shots’ for one doggie, Remi for the Remington (good suggestion) OR Remy for Remy Martin??

    So far, good appropriate dog names, like @SNS said he has to explain our INSANE yet funny names to friends and family???

    What would his local padre say??

    The Naming Committee needs to narrow this shit down, ‘this town meeting can’t go on all night ya know’!

    Sally
    Trixie
    Maggie
    Stella

    Vote here _____.

    3

  106. Aaron Burr
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 8:23 PM
    “MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL, sns.”

    …I didn’t do it, SHE did!

    …and she kinda seemed into it, too, which is a little scary…

    2

  111. Aaron Burr
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 8:14 PM
    “RUBY VON TITPANZER …

    Wow. I need to get her a credit card application. She sounds impressive.”

    …well, it would probably be pretty easy to get her an absentee ballot as long as you registered her as a Democrat, anyway…

    4

  114. @Aaron

    Just call your dog “Cat” and call your cat “Dog”, to confuse everyone, especially at the veterinarian.

    Next question: what will your new dog call you?

    3

  116. Cat.

    So you can explain to your liberal friends that she is transitioning.

    @TimBikTu: You win. Read your post while proofreading mine.

    BTW, I once convinced a friend to name her new kitten Dogma. She never forgave me.

    4

  122. @Aaron Burr:

    Tithammer would be a really cool band name…

    Maybe I’ve mentioned this before, but my very favorite all-time actual real performing band name was SORRY ABOUT DRESDEN.

    North Carolina punk band about 40 years ago.

    2

  123. Well, I was thinking Violet Bick (that Hussy) but from what I understand dogs listen to one syllable names the best.

    I like Wu

    But it’s only a suggestion.

    God Bless us all!

    4

  125. Well if it’s black and white, Oreo.

    My kids had a dog named Oreo, they named it after the cookie because it was black and white. However, I had to almost knock several upside the head who told me that we were a racist family.

    3

  126. The hell is wrong with Ruby Von TitPanzer?

    Hell, I’ll even use VON TITPANZER in restaurants and at starbucks just to hear them call out the name.

    Von TitPanzer.

    I like it.

    4

  128. Other good star names (noteworthy ones in bold):

    Alphard
    Alshat
    Bellatrix
    Cancer
    Canis Major
    Hadar
    Jabbah (only if she gets fat)
    Nekkar (see: Snicker)
    Sham
    Sharatan
    Terebellum
    Yed Posterior (I am not making this up)

    Not to leave out Sirius, the Dog Star. Like Asta.

    2

  133. you may like VON TITPANZER ….. but 2 is better

    although VON TITPANZER would do good at the local lunch counter …. VON TITPANZER mit mien TWATWAFFLES

    … und Drei WEINERSNITZEL!

    5

  135. …I know bidding is closed at this point, and they in no way reference delightful lady parts, but I would be remiss to not throw these in, even at the end…

    Big Fur Hound
    Mary Jane Anklebiter
    Dr. Chases Car
    Kitty8ter
    Mrs. Tinkleo
    Ironic Barkin
    Kitty Critic
    Clawdia (better for a cat, I know…)

    …just a shameless shout out to the house, I’d call ’em tolerant of reprobates like us if they weren’t also in on the joke…

    4

  139. Another type of name, although it would be rather insulting to the poor dog: name her after real human dogs, like Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler, Elizabeth Warren, and that drooping hound dog that used to run the IRS…Lois Lerner.

    2

  141. Brad
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 9:42 PM
    “SNS

    I think you’ve beaten this dawg to death.”

    …so…no Bark_Brad, then?

    …sorry, when they throw me a bone, I like to chew on it, and maybe sometimes I hound it to death, but it’s just a dogged determination to fetch some fun in a kibbley thread until a pooper scooper is needed to clean up the mess, guess I’m in the dog house now..

    1

  151. Brad
    OCTOBER 23, 2020 AT 11:16 PM
    “This thread rivals the presidential debate in posts”

    Well, except half the posts were from one person.

    24×2=150?

    …also, I need credit for multiple personalities, so I guess I’m gonna need another half-dozen or so handles, but does it count if I use the same avatar on all of them? Or do I need a different one for the tone of each personality, since they’re a pretty diverse bunch…

    …ok, we’ll stop now, woof-woof…

    2

  157. Look, this whole thing started because I wrote my first email to fur in almost a decade.

    All I wanted to know was if murderbitch or stabpuppy was a good dog name.

    Turns out Ruby Von TitPanzer is the way to go.

    So…. thank you.

    I guess…..sick bastards…. just stay away from muh dawg.

    https://i.gifer.com/55XG.gif

    5

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