Have you done these southern things? Our southerners see how experienced they really are and tell some fun stories along the way!
– It’s a Southern Thing.
21 Comments on Ain’t Never Done That
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Sucked the heads out of crawdads? I have, and I flew down from Alaska to do it. They weren’t raw, boiled with a bunch of coonass stuff.
5 Women and one guy? Wassup with that?
My Petey B likes to pretend he’s in a Civil War with my unbleached elastic starfish!
“CHARRRRRRRRRGE!!!!!”
I love sweet cornbread…. Croacker’s Spot serves the best!
I wore cowboy boots in my youth as my brother might attest.
Wouldn’t go to New Orleans to puke.
I have in fact grown tomatoes, though my peppers were much better.
Two stepped and country danced but never by myself.
Ain’t been to the Opry.
Frequently wore khakis or seersucker after Labor Day.
Only “family reunions” I have ever attended were someone’s funerals and YES there were over 50 family members.
“So you don’t be datin your cousin… unknowingly.“
That’s funny shit right there.
Sugar in cornbread…Yes
Cowboy boots….Yep
Mardigras….Nope
Tomatoes….Yep, can’t imagine not growing your own tomatoes
Line Dance…Yep
Grand Ole Opry…Yes
Worn White….Probably
Family Reunion…..Yes
Huh.
Arizona edition:
1. done meth?
2. been arrested?
3. own more than 3 lawnmowers?
4. shot random stuff……I mean RANDOM
5. have “yard art” (old tractor,old car, old wagon, old windmill or old tools)
6. know an Indian?
7. confronted game warden with enough firepower to conquer Mexico?
8. seen a ghost car?
9. seen the Milky Way?
10. explain to outsiders how to make chili?
Sweet cornbread.
Cowboy boots. (But they were super cute high heels type. hurt like hayell, but, super cute, so…)
Never been to nawlins
Have grown tomatoes, but they were stunted and rock hard. The one that I managed to grow got bug infested.
Line danced, electric slided. Slidded?
No Opry.
I don’t like, nay, I hate to wear white. So I ‘light beige’ all year round. Even after Labor Day.
Also, I don’t wear black. So I’m not chromaracist.
No 50+ family reunion but probably saw 50 people in a couple of days. lol.
Sugar in cornbread-yes!
Grown my own tomaters-yes!
Line dance-with two left feet? No!
Mardi Gras-sorry, no.
Grand Ol’ Opery-again, no.
South West Florida version! Have you ever…
— Driven under the limit on the Interstate in the left lane
— Eaten Early Bird Special cafeteria dinner at 4:30 p.m.
— (women) Worn pink framed sunglasses with rhinestones
— (men) Worn black socks with sandals
— Made turns without signaling
— Signaled without making turns
— Worn shorts and T-shirt in February
— Played pickle ball
— (locals) Griped about snow birds but taken their money
— (snow birds) Griped about locals but kept coming back every year
Sugar in cornbread … yo!
Cowboy boots … since I was about 3 …. looking to get a pair of those Tecovas
Mardigras … I’m told I was there, but have no recollection … maybe?
Tomatoes … like the song sez, “only 2 things that money can’t buy … that’s true love & homegrown tomatoes
Line Dance … I refuse to be a conformist
Grand Ole Opry … does driving by it count?
Worn White …. there’s a code on that sort of stuff? … & do white socks count?
Family Reunion … Daddy’s been married 4 times, Momma 3 … ‘Family Reunion’ is the definition of ‘Confusion’ in my world
@Burr
1. done meth? No, I scare myself enough looking in the mirror, don’t need no mugshot to show worse than I am now
2. been arrested? misdemeanor or felony?
3. own more than 3 lawnmowers? 2 is my limit
4. shot random stuff……I mean RANDOM … uh, define ‘Random’
5. have “yard art” (old tractor,old car, old wagon, old windmill or old tools) She Who Must Be Obeyed makes me clean up the woods, fer chrissake … no chance of yard art … unless it’s a cutesy yard flag or other girly stuff
6. know an Indian? worked w/ both kinds
7. confronted game warden with enough firepower to conquer Mexico? again, define ‘enough’ … those cartels got a lot of sh*t
8. seen a ghost car? … yes … scary, ain’t they?
9. seen the Milky Way? … up until about 10 years ago, every morning
10. explain to outsiders how to make chili? … moonshine, beer, crabs, seafood boil … never chili
Sugar in cornbread – Of course!
Delicious.
Wore Cowboy boots – No, but would someday if I find a comfortable pair.
Attended Mardi Gras – Voodoo and Drunks. No Thanks!
Grown Tomatoes – One year as a child “helping” my grandmother.
Line Dance – Nope. Hate Line Dancing. Too individualistic.
Grand Ole Opry – No, but grew up watching Hee Haw and still love it.
Worn White after Labor Day – Never mattered to me.
Attended Family Reunion 50 + – Nope
My families are too small.
@Uncle Al ~ must be a slow night at the old Molon abode …
— Driven under the limit on the Interstate in the left lane … we run people off the freeway up here for doing that … it’s like a sport
— Eaten Early Bird Special cafeteria dinner at 4:30 p.m. … whenever they open for the special … I’m there
— (women) Worn pink framed sunglasses with rhinestones
— (men) Worn black socks with sandals … that’s downright queer
— Made turns without signaling … nope, make it a practice to let people know where I’m goin’ so they can be prepared to get the hell out of the way!
— Signaled without making turns … see above answer
— Worn shorts and T-shirt in February … hell, I do that up north
— Played pickle ball … wt??? you want me to play ball or play w/ my pickle? pick one or t’other
— (locals) Griped about snow birds but taken their money … what frosts my nads is when some stuck-up NY transplant thinks it a privilege that I buy his/her cheap tourist trinket, that I could purchase at the Wal-Mart several miles away for half the price, just because it was bought at some rich progtard over-priced tourist-trap ‘artist enclave’ … yeah, I’m talkin’ to you Pine Island
— (snow birds) Griped about locals but kept coming back every year . … nope, some of the funniest bar conversations I ever had were w/ the locals in beautiful FLA
99th…. I like the way you think…. If you decide you want to retire to southern SC, let me know…. I know, I’m white.
Sugar in cornbread – I do love sugar, corn and bread. Can’t recall having them together, although my granny was a purist when it came to southern cooking, so I’m sure there was sugar in the cornbread.
Along with red eye gravy, grits, attic aged country ham, thick sliced garden tomatoes, cantaloupe, scratch biscuits…and that’s just a light breakfast….cooked in nothing but cast iron.
Cowboy boots – In my yoot…everyday Frye’s, and special occasions red snakeskin Tony Llamas. Aside from trips to northern climes, haven’t worn closed shoes in decades. Flip-flops is the closest thing to dress shoes.
Mardi Gras – dodging throngs of drunks, stepping in puke, flashing ta-ta’s…for some cheap beads? No thanks.
Grown Tomatoes – without fail, twice every year. Sometimes I win, sometimes the possums/raccoons win.
Line Dancing. Does waiting on line at the DMV with a full bladder count?
Grand Ole Opry – does listening to my dad sing bass to Porter Wagner & Dolly Parton count?
White after Labor Day – Yep, and Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and Easter too. Levi’s white jeans all year around. It’s Florida. Sue me.
Family Reunion 50 + – Can’t think of 50 people I’d care to spend “together time” with, much less crazy distant “kin”.
Got a pair of Wellingtons.
My son says they’re “cowboy” boots – but I ain’t no cowboy.
Mighta been to Na’lens once – usta get really good dope there – can’t recall.
Don’t put sugar into (or onto) cornbread – except for baby skunks – and then I actually use honey (if that counts).
Don’t dance.
Don’t cotton much to the “Opry” – more of a Pink Floyd guy.
Wear whatever’s clean whenever I feel like it.
Tomatoes every year – some years better’n others – beans, radishes, peas, bok-choy, asparagus – most successful with cherry tomatoes and string beans.
Don’t know 50 people – Hell, I don’t think I’ve known 50 people in my entire life!
izlamo delenda est …
No:
Sugar in cornbread
White after Labor Day (or before Easter)
Family reunion that large
Yes:
Everything else
🙂
Jeez…Did they tell these people to sound as hillbilly as they could?
gag
It just feeds into the stereotype.
Most southern people don’t sound this hick.
Thanks for the invite, Crackerbaby. Fortunately, I’m happily nestled in a SC neighboring state for my retirement. Nice to know you’re white – be proud.
I’ve never grown tomatoes (or really anything, unless you count my daughter) and I’ve never been to Mardi Gras. Yet. Otherwise, yes. Been there, done those.