Wife: Do you drink beer?
Husband: Yes
Wife: How many beers a day?
Husband: Usually about three
Wife: How much do you pay per beer?
Husband: $5.00 which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary!)
Wife: And how long have you been drinking?
Husband: About 20 years, I suppose
Wife: So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately
$5400 correct?
Wife: Correct
Wife: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000 correct?
Husband: Correct
Wife: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought an airplane?
Husband: Do you drink beer?
Wife: No.
Husband: Where is your airplane?
21 Comments on An Argument Between a Husband and Wife
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@(stupid) husband: Shut up. You have to go to sleep some time.
BigGun, Ever hear about Willie Nelson first wife. An American Indian. He came home late one night, lipstick on his collar. She sewed him in the sheets and waited for him to wake up. Then she proceeded to beat his ass with a broom stick. She had her bags packed and split.
Jeez, I hope my wife doesn’t see this. Drambuie is $20.00 a night.
@Brad, I heard Willy tell that story years ago.
Along the same lines, a former friend of mine used to really like his booze. One night he came home hammered and the little woman was waiting for him.
She conked him on the head with a cast iron frying pan, knocked him out cold.
He woke up the next day with a hell of a headache and a lump on his head.
He told the wife that he must have fallen !!
Brad, he ain’t the first nor last. 😉
Norm dang that’s some funny shit. I might know the guy.
husband to wife: do you wear make-up?
wife: yes
husband: about how much does that cost you a day?
wife: i have no idea….and i don’t care, anyway……
husband: do you have your hair done every week or two weeks or every month?
wife: well, yes, of course….
husband: how much does that cost?
wife: IT DOESN’T MATTER, I’M WORTH IT…..
husband; THERE’S YOUR AIRPLANE, idiot…..
always remember, chuckie does not have a Y chromosome……
chuckie KNOWS what wymmins” is like…..
chuckie don’t like them all that much……
end of conversation…
as an aside…..chuckie is so near-sighted that she would have to stick her nose through the mirror in order to apply any kind of make-up, which would then be impossible because of fogging up the mirror……on occasion, others have volunteered to “do my face” for me….so i learned i could be beautiful if i could afford to have someone come paint my face every day…..guess what?
it’s just not worth it to me……i’m perfectly content to navigate my life in the face God gave me – without “improvements”….
it’s not that “I’M” not worth it……it’s just that there are better ways to spend my money….ya know, like food and stuff….
but certainly not an airplane…….a helicopter, on the other hand, might come in pretty handy here in west virginia in the winter…….
but then we’d have to pay someone to fly it…..dangit, nothing EVER works out…….i mean, how many helicopter pilot/make-up artists are going to work for room and board?????
And then there was Sean who texed his wife:
“Mary darlin’ I stopped off for a pint or two with the lads.
Be home in an hour.
If not home in an hour.
Read this again.
ok, that’s funny, i don’t care who you are……
I think Sean’s real name was Tommy Boy. Just sayen texting isn’t that old. Fess up Moe Tom, That was you WAS’NT it. Lol
Brad I don’t tex, don’t know how. But the message is pretty clear.
An hour? are you fukin’kiddin’ me? It takes at least two hours to quench a thirst. LOL
Tommy, meet you at the bar, bring your stop watch. Actually you better bring you calender
She never even brought up the whiskey. Whew!
Honey, we save money when I drink. When I get home from drinking you look good without makeup.
An Irish Muslim makes his profession of faith
There’ll be no God but that Allah fellow, and oy’ll be foightin’ any man in this bahr what says different!!
$108,000 is a bargain compared to 20 years of therapy.
Marriage is very psychological. . . one side is logical, the other. . .
Never met a woman I couldn’t love–and then I got married.
A little boy came home from school and proudly announced he got a part in a school play.
“What part?” Mom asked excitedly.
“I play a Dad in a family” The little boy said
“Don’t worry” Mom said
“One day you’ll get a speaking part”
That was funny. I’m going for a ride in my airplane now.