Patriot Retort:
The creepy porn lawyer Michael Avenatti has decided not to run for President in 2020.
Now what the hell are we going to do for fun?
Avenatti made his announcement on Twitter – which coincidentally is the only place in the universe where he is even remotely popular.
Here’s the statement he tweeted:
He has too many dumpster fires of his own making to put out.
Too bad His Dad didn’t ! (drum riff)
No worries, still plenty of time for him to reenter thru the back door.
He was never in that deep
Oh, and Bobcat…That’s called a Rim Shot, and it’s an extra $3
What a disappointment! The Creepy Democrat Girlfriend Beating Perjury Suborning Tax Evading Office Rent Dodging Divorced Wife Support Avoiding Asshole Shyster Porn Lawyer has decided that his ex-wife and kids don’t want him to sacrifice their privacy and stability to save the country from Donald J. Trump. Just when the prospect of this man’s running for the nomination held the promise of more fun since Gary Hartpence went boating on the “Monkey Business” he walks away from entertaining us for two more years.
Can disbarrment gives us the same pleasure? Probably not, but it will have to suffice.
Heard he was leaving the stable….
Every media interviewer should treat him like he is.
Ask him inane questions about his campaign.
Drive him crazy
Must’ve gotten signed by the NFL
But our idiot green weenie, eco weenie governor Jay Inslee from the State of Washington wants to run for President now. Good luck with that Jay you’re as about as popular as the plague around here. Bernie Sanders or even Biden has a better chance than you do, so give it up now before make an even bigger ass out of yourself.
So there is someone in his world rooted in reality; that’s nice to know.
The funny thing is the creepy porn lawyer probably only heard “I can’t take it” from the loved one when most likely that loved family member said something more along the lines of “you have no chance in hell of wining. Your run will go down as the biggest public butt-_uckery in human history, I mean what Caligula did to his worst enemies will pale to what you will do to yourself, and the thought of the level of humiliation brought to this family is something so painful I just can’t take it”.
Too bad- that would have been a freak show on fire.
“Speaking Truth to Power”. How original. That phrase died in January 2009, and hasn’t been seen since. Until today. What a putz.
Avenatti pulls out…. huge butt plug from his ass leaving gigantic gaping hole behind
Unfortunately, a woman-beating porn lawyer is the best chance the democrats have!
What a coincidence. After consulting my family, I have also decided not to run for president. It wasn’t a decision made lightly.
Just in case anyone was wondering. You’ll have to send your money to another candidate, as I know many of you were eager to fund the ecp for president campaign.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR0vttyrVpiCDHTICpxG9ovU_ltKX22ka28Di0gcYU2iS5QfWQk9hl-C_Jg&v=XThJ_7TZd2I
Although I’ve always liked the phrase
Creepy Democrat Porn Lawyer Michael Avenatti,
I think this would be more apt:
Creepy Democrat Porn Lawyer Michael “Goatse” Avenatti
(If you don’t know what “Goatse” is, do NOT, repeat DO NOT do an image search on the word. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.)
The Italians have a word for it: avenatti interruptus
Fear not, there’s always Krazy Unkle Joe Biden, who’s trying to make up his mind (gigglesnort) if he’ll run in 2020.
Let the humor begin!
It’s a shame. He was ‘this close.’