Babylon Bee: Legislators Propose Replacing All Spacecraft With High-Speed Trains By 2030 – IOTW Report

Babylon Bee: Legislators Propose Replacing All Spacecraft With High-Speed Trains By 2030

BABYLON BEE: WASHINGTON, D.C.—A new environmental proposal would have the US replace all public and private spacecraft with high-speed trains by the year 2030, reports confirmed Thursday.

“We are wasting so much rocket fuel to generate the thrust necessary to leave Earth’s orbit when we could just build a train track all the way to Mars or Jupiter,” said a lobbyist for the train industry. “And just think about how pleasant a ride from Earth to Mars would be, coasting along the space tracks at 200 miles per hour for the next 193 years.”  MORE

13 Comments on Babylon Bee: Legislators Propose Replacing All Spacecraft With High-Speed Trains By 2030

  1. Caution, the windshields of other orbital craft will be mucked up badly when the train’s waste storage tanks are blown into space. And what about space cattle blocking the tracks?

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  2. “I’ma a robbin’ this here space train fer it’s precious bags of space mail. Now put up yer space hands while the other spaceperados relives you of yer space watches and valuable space gems.”

    Jessie Space James, noted space train robber.

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