BABYLON BEE: WASHINGTON, D.C.—A new environmental proposal would have the US replace all public and private spacecraft with high-speed trains by the year 2030, reports confirmed Thursday.
“We are wasting so much rocket fuel to generate the thrust necessary to leave Earth’s orbit when we could just build a train track all the way to Mars or Jupiter,” said a lobbyist for the train industry. “And just think about how pleasant a ride from Earth to Mars would be, coasting along the space tracks at 200 miles per hour for the next 193 years.” MORE
All you people in the cheap seats get your tickets out. I’m driving this Bipolar Express!
Caution, the windshields of other orbital craft will be mucked up badly when the train’s waste storage tanks are blown into space. And what about space cattle blocking the tracks?
The bar car better have a train load of the little booze bottles.
Not to worry. The crack team of investigators at Snopes is all over this.
This sounds doable. Who’s with me?
Is the space train being pulled by eight tiny reindeer? Or is AOC pulling the train?
I hear my train coming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElQBzA91dTU
cfm 990, exactly what I was thinking… Snopes will help us think correctly and not laugh at satire.
Do you hear that sound, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability. It is the sound of …
..PIGS IN SPACE.
AOC says the space trains will be propelled by High-speed steam engines and lifted into orbit by anti-gravity devices.
“I’ma a robbin’ this here space train fer it’s precious bags of space mail. Now put up yer space hands while the other spaceperados relives you of yer space watches and valuable space gems.”
Jessie Space James, noted space train robber.
Space Hobos hopping freight… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYTd3K4cQ9o
Don’t be fooled by this. SNOPES say’s it’s FALSE.