Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t!
1
When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get our of jury duty!
6
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak!
4
What do you call 7 rabbits in a row walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
I got a million of em, just can’t remember them right now.
1
Q. What did the Astronomy Professor say about the worst student in his class.
A. All he is doing is taking up space.
2
Q. What did the surfing cow say when she was riding a big wave?
A. MANABUNGA!
2
Remembered one.
What do you call a “Native American” hitch-hiking in mid September?
Indian thumb-er.
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the rabbit and says “What are you doing here?” The rabbit answers, Don’t ask me, ask the Auto-correct.”
1
Okay, the coffee is starting to kick in.
A young college student wrote the following to his father asking for some much needed funds:
“No mon, no fun, your son.”
To which his father replied:
“Too bad, so sad, your Dad.”
Out in the old West, a traveler came to a fork in the road with a sign that said which way to go depending on your destination.
At the bottom of the sign someone had added “If you can’t read, ask the Blacksmith.”
Sorry, they’re not going to get any better.
The Flat Earth Society has chapters all around the Globe.
2
True story.
A profligate young English fellow around the middle of the 19th Century asked for a meeting with his wealthy father.
His father was very disappointed in his son, who had racked up thousands of pounds in gambling debts, among other debts and expenses.
The father informed his son that he had changed his will, and was leaving his son only one pound.
The son said: Sir, may I have that pound today?
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”
“For you, sir, no charge!”
from Science Jokes
1
Two Astronauts are chilling on the space station when one turns to the other and says, “I can’t find any milk for my coffee.”
The second astronaut replies, “In space no one can here use cream.”
From Space Jokes
1
Guess what, everybody
We finally have the real killer
3
@ 6:05: receding hare-line…a large group of armed men in uniform, foaming @ the mouth…the salivation army
1
What do you call a blind buck?
No eye Deer.
2
Cannibal jokes are my favorite, here’s a sampling. Why are cannibal so angry? They’re fed up with people. What did Spartacus do to the cannibal who ate his wife? Nothing, he’s gladiator. I went to a cannibal restaurant last night. It cost $50 dollars a head. What’s a cannibal’s favorite game? Swallow the leader. Do cannibal’s eat ramen? Or do they cook them first. What did the cannibal choose as his last meal? Five Guys. What do cannibal’s drink in the morning? A cup of Joe. What’s a cannibal’s favorite snack? A knuckle sandwich. And finally, Cannibal is an ate letter word.
2
That was the best group of jokes so far.
Man found dead in a bathtub full of milk with a banana stuck up his bum. Police suspect a cereal killer.
3
Joe Biden got 81 million votes!
2
atf/doj/fbi/irs are not biased
When Columbus saw the Indians growing corn, was zea maysed.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!
What do you call fish on Fridays?
Lunch.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t!
When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get our of jury duty!
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak!
What do you call 7 rabbits in a row walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
I got a million of em, just can’t remember them right now.
Q. What did the Astronomy Professor say about the worst student in his class.
A. All he is doing is taking up space.
Q. What did the surfing cow say when she was riding a big wave?
A. MANABUNGA!
Remembered one.
What do you call a “Native American” hitch-hiking in mid September?
Indian thumb-er.
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the rabbit and says “What are you doing here?” The rabbit answers, Don’t ask me, ask the Auto-correct.”
Okay, the coffee is starting to kick in.
A young college student wrote the following to his father asking for some much needed funds:
“No mon, no fun, your son.”
To which his father replied:
“Too bad, so sad, your Dad.”
Out in the old West, a traveler came to a fork in the road with a sign that said which way to go depending on your destination.
At the bottom of the sign someone had added “If you can’t read, ask the Blacksmith.”
Sorry, they’re not going to get any better.
The Flat Earth Society has chapters all around the Globe.
True story.
A profligate young English fellow around the middle of the 19th Century asked for a meeting with his wealthy father.
His father was very disappointed in his son, who had racked up thousands of pounds in gambling debts, among other debts and expenses.
The father informed his son that he had changed his will, and was leaving his son only one pound.
The son said: Sir, may I have that pound today?
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”
“For you, sir, no charge!”
from Science Jokes
Two Astronauts are chilling on the space station when one turns to the other and says, “I can’t find any milk for my coffee.”
The second astronaut replies, “In space no one can here use cream.”
From Space Jokes
Guess what, everybody
We finally have the real killer
@ 6:05: receding hare-line…a large group of armed men in uniform, foaming @ the mouth…the salivation army
What do you call a blind buck?
No eye Deer.
Cannibal jokes are my favorite, here’s a sampling. Why are cannibal so angry? They’re fed up with people. What did Spartacus do to the cannibal who ate his wife? Nothing, he’s gladiator. I went to a cannibal restaurant last night. It cost $50 dollars a head. What’s a cannibal’s favorite game? Swallow the leader. Do cannibal’s eat ramen? Or do they cook them first. What did the cannibal choose as his last meal? Five Guys. What do cannibal’s drink in the morning? A cup of Joe. What’s a cannibal’s favorite snack? A knuckle sandwich. And finally, Cannibal is an ate letter word.
That was the best group of jokes so far.
Man found dead in a bathtub full of milk with a banana stuck up his bum. Police suspect a cereal killer.
Joe Biden got 81 million votes!
atf/doj/fbi/irs are not biased
When Columbus saw the Indians growing corn, was zea maysed.