Abigail Adams has been getting hit with the Bernie ads that start out, “Hi! I have a small favor to ask…”
She’s been filling in the blank space with what Bernie, the communist, would ask…
Do the same.
Winner gets to disperse his 401k equally amongst the rest of the contestants.
“…I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.”
…not ALL Terminators from the future look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know, and what BETTER way to kill ALL hope for Mankind than Communism…
For starters, please help me dismantle the Constitution, Bill of Rights and the 3 branches of government.
Bernie was on the over site committee for the VA when it crashed.
22 to 25 men and women who served committed suicide on his watch.
Now he has promised free health care and college for illegals.
Vote these “fake Americans” out…
I need a new heart, won’t you give me yours?
Please airlift me a case of Grecian Formula.
Could you give a tug on my bootstraps?
…will you hold Elizabeth Warren down while I sacrifice her to Baal? That should give me the nomination and grant me 5 more years of life.
They’re going to be staff to do the real work right. I remember that hippy commune didn’t work out like I hoped.
Can you iron my shirt?
Take this Vial to Wuhan and….
Ignore the fact that I’m a lifelong Marxist and cast the last vote you’ll ever get for me…
“…I need someone to throw a bucket of water on Hillary. And her little dog, too.”
“I’m going to need those TPS reports…ASAP…So, if you could do that, that’d be great…”
Is politburo one r or two? I should know this.
Can you give me 97 cents of
every $$$ you earn so I can give it
lazy $HIT BAGS that don’t want to
go to work today?
Be honest- does my hunchback make me look communist?
How does the northern most point in Alaska compare to Siberia?
I need you to look into Hunter Biden and Crowdstrike…our country has been through a lot.
Is it Da or Dah? I forget. That honeymoon was a while ago.
“Would you happen to have some Ex-Lax? I’m in pain since I’m so full of it.”
I have a favor to ask…
Please send men’s medium size Depends, I’m running low.
“Can I bum a dollar? I’ll wash your windshield.”
“Wanna see my monkey?”…
Tell me why so many people want to come to live in the United States?
“I need some mothballs and a bag of Whoppers. Mine got all mixed up and now I smell like chocolate.”
Can you tell me how to make a fake smile? I smiled once but forgot how it’s done.
“Can you give me $300 for some Viagra? The whores around here aren’t cheap – no senior discount either.
Would you pull my finger?
Can you spare a dime for a seventy-niner?
“Can you tell me where I live? I wrote the address on my sleeve but I spilled some Mogen David on it.”
Bernie: Don Soros, I come to you for an election. I wish to deal with the United States from a position of power.
Don Soros: Why did you go to the DNC? Why didn’t you come to me first?
Bernie: What do you want of me? Tell me anything, but do what I beg you to do.
Don Soros: What is that? [Bernie whispers his request in the Don’s ear] That I cannot do.
Bernie: I will give you anything you ask.
Don Soros: We’ve known each other many years, but this is the first time you ever came to me for counsel or for help. I can’t remember the last time that you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let’s be frank here. You never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt.
Bernie: I didn’t want to get into trouble.
Don Soros: I understand. You found paradise in the Democrat Party, you had a good trade, you made a good living. The DNC and the media protected you and there were courts of public opinion. And you didn’t need a friend like me. But uh, now you come to me and you say – ‘Don Soros, give me America.’ But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you ask me to murder a country for money.
Bernie: I ask for the Presidency.
Don Corleone: That is not what I want, to kill America. I want it alive so I can enslave it.
Bernie: Let them suffer then, as I suffered at the last Convention. How much shall I pay you?
Don Soros: Bernie, Bernie. What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you’d come to me in friendship, then this witch that ruined your nomination would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.
Bernie: Be my friend – – Godfather. [The Don shrugs. Bernie bows toward the Don and kisses the Don’s hand]
Don Soros: Good. Someday, and that day may never come, I’ll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day – accept this nomination as a gift on my daughter’s wedding day.
Bernie: Grazie, Godfather.
Don Soros: Prego.
(Apologies to Mario Puzo)
Does my BO offend you?
“Can you allow my tribe about another 20-30 to fully eradicate Christianity, end the white race, and extract all of your financial resources before we move on to act as parasites in yet another country?”
Can yew loan me yer Global Warming thermometer Boiny
I boined a Hawaiian pizza last night and someone told me I should used Aloha temperature!
Do you know the way to San Jose?
What’s it all about Alfi?
Have you ever been experienced?
These are questions that have confused me since I was a young, drug addled moron in the 1960s. Can you help me out?
…can you pause the game and go upstairs and find your mom’s wallet…
Every time you hear me say, “people will die”, I want you to take a shot of Stoli.
“I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a soyburger today!”
Take my teeth and go rinse them out in some ETOH.
I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday
for a hamburger today.
Do you like gladiator movies?
Can you comb my hair with this balloon? I can’t reach my back.
Can you vote me the sexiest man alive and give me a Nobel Peace Price to help my election?
Just bring me your cash an an I’ll pretend to pay,
an you well..Murmur murmur mumble, for… the Mother Land!
I got some WWII memorabilia (on consignment) trying to unload for a friend (Soros),,
Could really use your funds right now.
Any interest?
Email me,
SelfLoathing@NewWorldOrder.com…
No Blushes
FEBRUARY 8, 2020 AT 3:32 PM
“I got some WWII memorabilia (on consignment) trying to unload for a friend (Soros),,
Any interest?
Email me,”
…half-off on gold teeth, he’s got HUNDREDS of them…
I’d like you to send me whatever cash you can find in your couch cushions, center consoles,change jars, and mother’s purses to help me win this nomination.
“Hi! I have a small favor to ask…”
“..can you change my diaper?”
https://pics.me.me/bernie-sanders-for-president-hot-cda-diaper-free-shit-at-21817973.png
“Hi! I have a small favor to ask…”
“…can you act my script out with me?”
“A man goes home and masturbates his typical fantasy. A woman on her knees, a woman tied up, a woman abused.
“A woman enjoys intercourse with her man — as she fantasizes being raped by 3 men simultaneously.”
” no one seems to want the lead, for some reason…”
https://dailycaller.com/2020/01/14/bernie-sanders-women-gang-rape-fantasy-essay/
…get these damn kids off my lawn.
…can I borrow a hairbrush and some mouthwash?
Would you mind changing my poop filled adult diaper?
I’m getting too old for this shit.
“Hi, I have a small favor to ask. Could I borrow your nail clippers. And could you trim my toenails?”
“…Could you loan me your bbq? And some steaks?”
“….Could I have that patio furniture you haven’t been using?”
“….Would you have your lawn guy make a quick pass over on our side? It’s not much area.”
“….Couldya pick up my dog’s poo off your yard? HOA, you know?”
“….I’m expecting kitchen cabinets from IKEA. Just put them in the garage for me.”
“….Can I borrow your wife and kids tonight? I’ve got to impress some donors.”
Can you get this hump off my back?
Where can a New York jew get a decent bagel with a schmear in Vermont? Or even DeeCee for godssake?
Forget Iowa. Schmucks can’t kadiddle a bushizzle.
(Or something Yiddish sounding.)
Was my last comment a bastardized amalgamation of Yiddish and Snoop Dog? Probably.
“I have a small favor to ask…”
(Gently swings a shiny pocket watch on a chain)
“Just keep your eyes on the watch. Take nice, slow, deep breaths. Relax your shoulders…your arms…your legs. You are so relaxed, now. You are getting sleepy…sleepy…sleepy. Close your eyes, close your eyes, and just listen to the soothing and sincere sound of my voice. You will vote for Bernie. You will adore Bernie. You will love Bernie. You will do anything Bernie asks of you. You will vote for Bernie. You will believe in Bernie. When I count to three, you will wake up when I say “three,” and you will not remember any of what I said.
“One. Two. Three.”
“Would you go out with me? …. & could you get 3 dates for my friends?”
…don’t vote for anyone with their ears up above their shoulders.
“Can you show me how to make a sammich? I don’t know how.”