Beware The Turkey-Trackers! – IOTW Report

Beware The Turkey-Trackers!

Keep your eyes peeled and your biscuits buttered out there.
h/t Doc.

As long as I have you here, any ideas on seasoning turkey?
I’m thinking about flavored butter, but I’m open to suggestions.
Thanksies in advancies. – MJA.

30 Comments on Beware The Turkey-Trackers!

  1. I DO like turkey, but my recommendation would be to slap it’s ass on both sides and turn it loose as you get a 16oz Ribeye and put some bleu cheese compound butter on it to finish it….El Diablo bacon wrapped shrimp and a twice baked pertater with all the fixin’s…..

  2. I like to keep it simple, not everyone is fond of all flavors. Butter the turkey up and don’t wander off from your families traditional seasonings. I’ve been down the exotic foreign injection road and always come back to Mom’s standard.

  3. This is what you need to inject turkeys. Must have fairly large passages for seasonings to pass and not bridge and plug. I suggest not piercing the skin any more than necessary and shoving it into the breast from the vent or neck openings. The holes will seal up, but only after some of the juices leak out. I usually deep fry my turkeys or spatchcock them if going in the oven.

  4. Peel back skin a little at a time and stuff butter under the skin for roasting. That makes the bird juicer and more flavorful just smash the butter up so it is paste/putty like then rub it in.

  5. When I used to cook for a slew of guests I’d use a dry hickory rub I found online. No complaints. Slow roasted on the gas grill seemed to be the best for that. This year, like last I’ll make the “4-S” dinner. Steaks, salads shrimps and spuds.

  6. RadioMattM might be wrong about the brine bag method…..Just pull the cooler out of the pickup bed. Keep the used lake water and the beer cans in it….old bait acts like anchovy paste….put the Turkey in it and have Uncle Jessie refresh it with new beer cans once in a while. Wallahhh!….

  7. El Diablo Shrimp…..Buy the best larger shrimp that you can….Peel them and leave the tail fin. Butterfly them and put seeded and deveined jalapeño strips in them. Wrap with 1/2 strip of bacon, tooth pick it. Put them on sheet pan, slather them with garlic butter and hot sauce to your liking…..400 degrees for 20 minutes (the bacon protects the shrimp from overcooking or adjust the time)…..You’ll crave these for breakfast….

  8. Thanks for the butter recipes MJA. Garlic on everything is for me. If you can get a small amount of the somewhat cheaper truffles those make a great flavored butter.

    @JDHasty my sweet Lord that thing reminds me of the monster injections the medics used to give us Army brats. Then they graduated to the injection gun.

  9. You probably thought I was joking about just throw the fucking turkey in the oven. I’ve cooked turkey all the usual ways with enhancements of every kind. However….

    The first time, after thoroughly washing and flipping the bird (multiple times), I then did, in fact, just throw the fucking turkey in the oven due to a lack of time. And it was fantastic! Basting it multiple times was helpful. I couldn’t really tell the difference between it and my Mother’s best efforts in the ’60’s (or my ex-wife’s). Also, I now never put ‘stuffing’ in it. It’s better to let the 350° air in there to thoroughly cook it from the inside and kill all the bacteria. (Have you ever gotten sick from an improperly cooked bird? I did at a sister’s house once.)

    I do the same thing with chicken. In both cases, I only cook the best, organically-fed and treated birds that I can find. The older I get, the more I can tell the difference (both in my mouth and in my gut!).

  10. I’ve only cooked the Turkey a few times. Just did the basics butter, salt and pepper but I was super strict about basting it like every 45 minutes. My mother in law was very impressed last year. This year we are going to their house and I’m bringing just the cranberry sauce.

  11. I rub the turkey down with butter, then I season it with prime rib seasoning. It has some rosemary/salt/pepper/garlic in the seasoning. Bake it at 325 degrees 25 minutes per lb – I place the turkey 1 rack above the bottom rack. Do not open the oven to check on it until you think it’s done. Every time you open the door to the oven it drops the temp and your turkey will take longer to cook. Haven’t had a bad turkey yet.

  12. Strips of Bacon pinned all over the outside is one method.


    Regardless of how you season the Bird: Any way You want

    Put 2 full racks of Ribs Under the Bird
    Ribs Seasoned with Sea or Kosher salt, Pepper, Rosemary, & Thyme, maybe a bit of paprika if you like it.
    As the bird Cooks, the Turkey Drippings will run down the ribs.
    The Rib fat will also add flavour to the Turkey.
    Baste as you would normally
    Remember to ADD TIME TO THE COOK (15-20min) because on the weight of the ribs.
    Use a thermometer and cook to temperature recommended.
    Gravy will be amazing.
    When the cooking is done, cut up the ribs, put them on a tray. Use them as a floating appetizer right before you sit and have the turkey or give each guest a couple ribs per plate.
    That’s How My MOM does them up here.




  13. @MJA ^^^^^^^^

    If not this year, Try it as a dry run/Test before Christmas or some other time to help with the timing.

    PS. It also helps piss off those who do not want us to eat pork

  14. Late to the game, but we’ve been frying our turkey for years. Started out with the fryer that required injection and peanut oil. A few years ago, we switched to an infrared fryer. Rub the turkey with canola oil inside and out. Rub garlic powder, pepper and kosher salt inside and out. Cooked our 16 lb. bird today in 2 hours.

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