A publisher is releasing 365 daily devotionals which provided Hillary with support during her presidential campaign.
Bill Clinton says he doesn’t email, yet, Hillary wrote this-
“During the campaign, the emails from Bill were the first I opened each morning. They gave me strength,” Clinton said in a statement released by Abingdon.
Do these crunts and crenises ever stop lying?
Here’s a “Hillary devotional” written by MJA.
“Stand by your man, especially on his coattails.”
We’re not requiring the devotionals be religious. More like the “empowering” crapola that is passed around Faceook. Okay, go.
ht/ Sadie
Top 5 devotionals will receive our praise and admiration for being so clever and will be posted in a separate post. The top submission will be memed by me with your credit.
MJA is the judge.
It takes a villain to burn down a village.
Never give up. Never surrender. Never recall.
Don’t worry about failures; worry about subpoenas.
Beauty begins when you hand twelve hundred dollars to your stylist.
Hmmm, Does sacrificing a puppy as you stand naked chugging a quart of gin for breakfast while Podesta, Bill, Soros and Huma form a circle around you chanting “You’re Good Enough, You’re Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like You!*” count?
*Apologies to Stuart Smalley
All lies.
All the time.
A fact may trip you up.
The best preparation for tomorrow is the alibi you concoct today.
Put nothing in writing.
Yammer in circles.
If asked a direct question, give an indirect answer.
It is in the darkest moments that the best revenge is born.
Bamboozle em with Bullshit.
Nothing’s impossible when the law is no obstacle.
Words mean what you want them to mean at the moment you utter them; nothing more, nothing less.
“If you can scheme it,
you can do it.”
“We” are Beyond Good and Evil – and “We,” of course, are us.
Things work out best for those who destroy evidence and plead the 5th.
Make your own fireworks. Just don’t order them in advance.
They can’t follow the words, so perfect the delivery.
Footprints in the sand…
When you saw only one set of footprints.
It was then when I crushed you
“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to lie, cheat and steal.”
L’etat c’est moi.
“What me worry?”….they have similar hair….and their daughters probably look the same….
Cleanliness is next to godliness, so be sure to wipe your servers every day.
The strong do what they can; the weak suffer what they must.
“Whenever you see a successful person you only see the public glories, never the pay to play corruption and graft to reach them.”
don’t let yer meat loaf ……..
Don’t take checks.
Tell a lie once,
and all your truths become questionable.
What difference does it make anyway.
“Opportunities just don’t happen, you have to pay for them.”
Father Flager was right – I’m entitled. Why didn’t the voters get it right?
Keep your friends close, keep your enemies six feet under!
Dead men tell no tales.
Neither do dead women.
” I fell down today, but I swear that i will do the same tomorrow”…
The more people who know, the more people who must be silenced.
Play nice.
Make an offer before you kill them.
ALL are expendable: for any, or no reason.
“Happiness is a bird in flight, which when pursued, is always beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may shit upon your pantsuit.”
I’ve killed more important people than YOU!
“I SHALL reap from the blue dress”….
OR
I’ve killed people more important than YOU!
“Politicl success is the sum of small lies, repeated day-in and day-out.”
You’re not a criminal if you’re not convicted.
We came, we saw, he died.
“All socialist/progressive success takes place outside the US Constitution.”
” Be unto you that which I throw in your general direction”…
“There are no traffic jams when you become President.”
You are still relevant if you believe it to be true.
“Plausible?…theres no plausible in deniability”…
“To every little girl who dreams big: Yes, you can be anything you want — even president.”–on Twitter in 2016
Bwhahahahahahahaha
Satan is good, Satan is our pal.
It’s not a lie, if YOU believe it!
“Motivation is what gets you started. Corruption and big donations is what keeps you going.”
“it’s not a lie, if you believe it”
“If I would have sucked, I’ would have only been an intern”…
“Don’t let integrity interfere with giving no bid contracts to contributors and friends.”
“Today I will do what others won’t; lie, cheat, steal, so tomorrow I can accomplish what I want.”
“Learn to appreciate what you have, before a jury makes you appreciate what you had.”
“To all the little girls, never doubt that you are valuable and deserving of every opportunity to pursue and achieve your own dreams, and have a plan to kill everyone you meet.”
“Often the difference between a wealthy person and a failure is not one has better abilities or ideas, but the courage to bet on one’s moral corruption and ideas of theft, to take a calculated risk – and make the big bucks.”
When they go low, we go high. High on scotch.
Barry Goldwater: “In Your Heart You Know He’s Right”
All members of the press must remain behind the rope line.
The dead cannot testify against you.
Hot sauce. In my purse.
“When the world says, ‘Give up’,
Hope whispers, ‘Put on your pussy hat and try it one more time before you are indicted.’”
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear, Bill will breed anything.”
Life is a river best filled with whiskey.
Do unto others – then deny everything.
“The real person you are is revealed in the moments when you’re certain no other person is watching. When no one is watching, you can murder, steal, lie and destroy evidence.”
If at first you don’t succeed, cheat harder.
“The American people are tired of liars and people who pretend to be something they’re not.”
– HRC, prescient of the 2016 election results
No one is completely useless… you can always serve as a bad example.
“When life knocks you down, try to land on your back because there will be a line of people wanting to screw you.”
If you can’t lick ’em, ram ’em.
When your ideas and policies are totally rejected by the voters TWICE, Keep lecturing them about your ideas and policies.
If you don’t have anything nice to say about somebody, say it even louder.
After her conviction…
Today is the first day of the rest of your miserable life in prison.
It doesn’t matter if you win or lose – it’s how you rig the game.
Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner evil bitch voice. And most important, don’t hesitate to lie, cheat and steal. To succeed is paramount, Everything else is secondary.”
Revenge is a dish best served anonymously.
You sit on a throne of lies.
Power corrupts, and absolute corruption is your goal.
Win if you can.
Lose if you must.
But always cheat.
Quantity over quality.
It really isn’t murder if you think of it as a really late term abortion.
“It isn’t who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It’s how much pay to play money you have in your corrupt Foundation.
The greater your influence, the higher your price..
Hillary’s into Daily Devotions? That’s going to take a temporary suspension of disbelief.
There’s no such thing as a bad picture.
Your face just looks like that sometimes.
http://www.wnd.com/files/2015/10/crazy-hillary.jpg
I am the most beautiful, intelligent woman in the history of world; repeat as often as necessary!
Today might be the day all of your lies catch up with you.
Have a good day! 😃
I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!
(Daily Affirmations With Stuart Smalley)
Lie.
Lie about lying.
Lie about lying about lying…
I only lost because of a video, oh wait, that was of me.
Do unto others before they do unto you
Always kick a man when he’s down, it makes it harder for him to get back up
Learn to laugh at other people’s problems
Fat Drunk & Stupid is no way to go through life Sister
“During the campaign, the emails from Bill were the first I opened each morning. They gave me strength,” Clinton said in a statement released by Abingdon.
She’s talking about Bill Cosby, right?
When a friend at your side, no road seems too long. Especially when he is carrying a Diazepam pen.
If there wasn’t a god, man would create a Hillary.
“With” a friend at your side, no road seems too long. Especially when he is carrying a Diazepam pen.
Entitlement is next to Godlessness
“I’m light skinned, no negro dialect (unless I needs one)….pants are crisply ironed….For God’s sake, I got this”….
Money talks, nobody walks.
Don’t count your chickens before they come home to roost
A snitch given time will always drop a dime
I think I just heard Bill in the background…” Give me your tired, give me your whore”
The not so squeaky clean deal gets the greased palm
A bush in the hand is better than Bill’s old crooked dick.
It’s only wrong if the DNA says so
Why should we determine the future of humanity by counting your snotty noses?
Totalitarianism – whether you like it, or NOT!
Constitution?
Just get over it.
Ever been to Ft. Marcy Park?
So what if a 14 y/o girl was tortured, raped, and left for dead?
I got him off, didn’t I?
PAY ME!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Preparation-H and Fixodent – Chanel #5 to Huma!
You fukkin peons – get behind the rope – behind the press-maggots – behind the rope.
If it wasn’t for you fukkin Deplorables – I’d be Empress! … or … uhh … President …
I stand on a mountain of murdered innocents.
Prepare for my sermon …
I feel Pretty,oh so Pretty
I’m so witty and pretty and Gay!
annie Go Trump
Everything Free in America
For a small fee in America….
HHmmmmmm Hhmmmmmmm…..You better get rid of your accent!
annie Go Trump
Dear Hillary,
Why are you up fifty pounds and not fifty points?
As God as my witness, I’ll Worry bout that tomorrow.
Forward!
annie go Trump
May your accent on life be determined by the audience at your next campaign stop.
When the going gets tough,
The tough get pneumonia.
The finest things in life are free
If you steal them from their owners
A penny saved is pathetic compared to a million dollar speaker’s fee.
Before a man judges me, he should walk a mile and find my shoe, and be thrown into a van like a side of beef, all while wearing my googly-eyes glasses and constantly harking loogies.
If I can scam New York, I can scam America.
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade.
Lots of lemonade. A big vat of lemonade.
Then drown your enemies in it. HAHAHAHAHA!
I am INVINCIBLE. Trump can’t possibly win.
I am INVINCIBLE. Trump can’t possibly win.
I am INVINCIBLE. Trump can’t possibly win.
I am INVINCIBLE. Trump can’t possibly win.
I am INVINCIBLE. Trump can’t possibly win.
Don’t let the bastards get you down. After all, they are likely to have an unfortunate “accident” any day now.
Snitches get stitches.
Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who keep on lying when there seems to be no hope at all.
Facts are futile! All opponents are racists, sexists, homophobes
First, ask yourself: What is the worst that could happen? Then, proceed to accept it. Then, proceed to buy it off or kill it.
Make your worries disappear: hold you breath for an hour
Bill Clinton is a rapist.
Speak loudly and carry a big dildo.
Carry me to the van.
Go home.
If you lose your shoe, don’t lose your head.
When in trouble, when in doubt,
It’s time bring the Cackle out
Stout grow the mighty oaks – don’t fret those cankles.
Mrs. Clinton stands solemnly at the pulpit, eyes closed, hands clasped in prayer. With a beatific smile her eyes open as she closes the book and the eldrich vapors rise around her. She addresses the masses…
“P’flgreh’ oh Cleth, oh Bali-Hurt’n, oh Hub’l, fleh’crinoth…”
Before putting on the pant suit, sniff the crotch of the pantsuit. If it smells like urine and boiled cabbage, you’re good to go.
Avoid the media after Happy Hour
When you are over medicated and fall down,
blame the flu.
When all else fails,
LIE !
Instead of throwing objects at Bill,
kick him in the nuts once.
Was Chelsea really worth sleeping with Vince Foster?
Remember, your varicose veins are the roadmap to your love.
A penny stolen is a penny earned.
One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer
A bitch in time slaves nine.
Stop buying clothing from Good Will
Blood is thicker than water – and we’ll tax that too.
If you’re caught red handed, turn to your red handed friends.
Don’t dump the baby with the bathwater – file an insurance claim and get something for the little schmuck.
If at first,second,third you don’t succeed you might want to think about quitting!
Don’t be afraid to eat humble pie – every lesbian has humble beginnings.
Don’t be afraid to go cold turkey – Wild Turkey on ice can be your little secret.
Ask not what you can do for your country – ask what your country can do for you.
If at first you don’t succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed.
Hat Tip Three Stooges.
Cheaters never prosper – unless the cheaters run things.
It doesn’t matter who votes – what matters is who counts the votes.
Reach for the skies – even if you’re just drunk as a skunk.
If you’re stuck for an answer,
bark like a dog.
It’s ok if you read the cue cards and actually say, “Sigh” instead of sighing. They will think you were joking.
Drop your slipper. They will think you are Cinderella.
i feel pretty….oh so pretty….
i feel pretty damn shitty today..
and i pity anyone who might get in my way….
i’m delightful….just delightful….
i’m delightfully spiteful and cruel….
and i might pull out your hair if you don’t play by my rules……
and then there’s this classic, which is toadly off topic…
baby face….i’d like to punch your little baby face
i’d like to scrunch your little baby face
baby face up to the facts
i’d like to give you forty whacks
your little baby face
is just the kind of face that really drives me mad
so if you want me to
i’ll put my fist right through
your stupid little baby face….
chet’s nuts roasting on an open fire
jack’s farts nipping at your nose….
i got a MILLION of ’em……. 🙂
“consult hillary clinton if you experience an erection that lasts over four hours…….”
“next time, i’m wearing the burka”
no, actually, i think it’s time to play the tranny card…..
introducing!….. Hill-I-Am RodMan Clinton…….if you don’t show overwhelming support, you are every kind of bigot and phobe, so there……..
okay, i need to go away before they bring out the pillories…
Never let a seizure go to waste.
A pardon in hand is worth two life sentences for Slick Willy in the slammer.
When are they going to get those fucking retards off the lawn?
Stay the fuck back, stay the fuck back away from me! Don’t come within ten yards of me, or else! Just fucking do as I say, Okay?
I came, I saw, what difference does it make
One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs is not to reason why,
Theirs but to “…try the cold chai”!