Contest: Mich-Heard Lyrics – IOTW Report

Contest: Mich-Heard Lyrics

You’re competing for a Keith Memorial Safety Whistle courtesy of Menderman.

Here’s the idea. And it’s childish, and may disqualify us all for running for president one day.

Take one line of a famous song, and then follow it with a second line, altered a bit. The idea is to make it a song about Michelle Obama.

ie: -There’s a Sasquatch on the right…. ( Bad Moon Rising – CCR)

Scuse’ me while I eat this pie…  (Purple Haze – Jimi Hendrix)

Something in the way she moos. Attracts me like no other blubber. (Something – Beatles)

It’s just Michelle under your bed, Obama’s in the closet, gives you head. (Enter Sandman – Metallica)

Contest ends at midnight tonight.

I spun the wheel of judges and it landed on…. CLAUDIA.

 

 

110 Comments on Contest: Mich-Heard Lyrics

  1. I live my life like there’s no tomorrow
    And all I’ve got I had to steal
    Least I don’t need to beg or borrow
    Yes, I’m living with a face that kills

    (running with the devil- van halen)

  2. Thinkin of you’s working up my appetite
    Lookin’ forward to a little Afternoon Delight
    Rubbin’ spices all together make the pan ignite
    And the thought of eating chicken’s getting so exciting

    (afternoon delight- starlight vocal band)

  3. Eat it! Eat it! Put it on your plate & eat it!
    Have a banana, have a whole bunch
    It doesn’t matter if you have lunch
    Just eat it….eat it….eat it….eat it

    Weird Al’s already got this covered

  4. Where the pies are, some pie waits for me
    My smilin’ face, my warm embrace, two arms to hold pie tenderly

    Where the pies are, my true love will be
    I’m walkin’ down the steps of Air Force One and I know pie’s there for me

  5. And I’m giving you a weighty look
    Everyday, everyday, everyday you eat the book
    Chapter One we didn’t really get it wrong
    Chapter Two I think I fell in front of you
    You said you wouldn’t stand on me in the middle of Chapter Three
    But you were up to your old bolsheviks in Chapters Four, Five and Six

  6. “Show me how you do that bolshevik
    The one that makes me scream” she said
    “The one that makes me laugh” she said
    And threw her arms around my neck
    “Show me how you do it
    And I promise you I promise that
    I’ll run away from you
    I’ll run away from you”

  7. Moochelle’s Tango lesson in Buenos Aires

    Walking the dog
    Just a walking the dog
    If you don’t know how to do it
    I’ll show you how to walk the dog
    Come on now, come on, come on

    I asked her mother for fifteen cents
    To see the elephant jump the fence….

  8. I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Chicago,
    She tried to take me upstairs for a ride.
    She had to heave me right across her shoulder
    ‘Cause I just can’t seem to drink Mooch off my mind.

    (Honky Tonk Woman)

  9. Round, round, round, her ass is big & round
    Round, round, wheeee hooo, her ass is big & round
    It’s big & round, round, round, round, round
    Her ass is big & round, round as the town
    Round, round, round, round, her ass is big & round
    (Beach Boys ~ I Get Around)

  10. Got a chip on my shoulder that’s bigger than my feet
    All I wanna do is eat & eat
    If I could get my way
    I’d lock all the Whiteys up today
    But I can’t so I’ll eat pie instead
    (The Beatles ~ I’ll Cry Instead)

  11. I wear scorn, everywhere I have to go,
    Howlin’ at the service, because it’s not like Spain,
    For now, it’ll do, because I’ve got gas,
    I SAID, it’ll do, it’s just gas,
    She’s doesn’t jump because she’s got gas, gas, gas.

    Forgive me Rolling Stones.

  12. “If I brought a fag along…if I brought a long fag along

    If I brought a long fag along…and if you like Moose you can tag along

    Be be bop Moose a lot…Moose a lot Moose a lot.”

  13. Helpless people on a subway train
    Scream bug-eyed as she looks in on them

    She picks up a bus and She throws it back down
    As She wades through the buildings toward the center of town

    Oh no, they say she’s got to go go go Mo-zilla

    (BOC-Godzilla)

  14. I want nothing but a Hot Dog
    With mustard on the side
    I want a couple dozen Hot Dogs
    With mustard on the side
    You ain’t never loved my Barry
    ‘Cause you’re always eatin’ my French Fries

    You said you liked my big ass
    Well, that was just a lie
    You said you liked my big ass
    That was just a lie
    You always wanted Reggie
    And you always zippin’ down his fly

    (Big Moma Thorton, aka Elvis Presley)

  15. I am Wookie, hear me roar, like a big ole’ dinosaur
    As I spread my big ole’ asscheeks ‘cross the land

    I like eatin’ cookie dough on my apple pie al-a-mode
    As I wipe out the White House pantry once again

    Yes I got thunder thighs, but there ain’t no paradise
    I’ll just have Barry raise the peasant’s taxes once again

  16. “Her name’s Hermaphroditee and she rides an air force shell

    And you know you can’t rebuke her or you’re gone to distant sands

    With tales of brave Obama how his dumbo ears were tortured

    By the Moose’s horrid screeching…”

  17. Here come old fattop, she come grumbling up hungry
    She got O by short hairs, she one angry soman
    She got hair up in her pits
    Got to be a toker cuz she eats when she please

  18. Just a reminder:

    Here’s the posted contest rules –

    “Take one line of a famous song, and then follow it with a second line, altered a bit.”

    Therefore, the first line must be original.
    Only the second line can be changed.
    No other lines should be involved.

    (Lookin’ at you, BFH)

    😉

  19. “A wing a pop a wing a pop

    A wing a pop a wing a pop

    A wing a pop a wing a pop

    More nachos please

    In the White House the peoples own house

    The liar speaks tonight…”

  20. Well we’re living in the White House now
    And Barry’s closing all the factories down
    Out in the ‘hood they’re killing time
    Gettin’ EBT cards, Standing in line
    We moved the whole family up to da Second Floor
    Spend our weekends flying from shore to shore
    Making Honky Devils pay
    Make ’em work all the time, night & day
    And we’re living in the White House now

    (Billy Joel ~ ‘Allentown’)

  21. Two and a half hours and you guys didn’t think of this one?

    She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
    I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Obama
    Mitchell Obaaaaama
    (“Lola” by The Kinks)

  22. I was born in a crossfire hurricane,
    And I scowl, when I don’t get it my way..

    She’s a really, really, really, really, big pain the ass.

    Jumpin Jack Flash take II

  23. Maria’s song from West Side Story rewritten for Mooch
    I feel shitty.
    Oh, so shitty
    I feel shitty and witless and dull.
    Such an ugly face,
    Such an ugly dress,
    Such an ugly smile,
    Such an ugly me!

  24. Barry bought a coconut, and went and showed his wife,
    and she de-manded the coconut
    de-manded the coconut
    He was gonna eat it but he couldn’t get it cracked cause
    she de-manded the coconut
    de-manded the coconut

  25. Dude looks like a lady
    Can’t judge a Mooch by his cover
    He has no love for any other
    A bulge put me wise to the gender in disguise
    He has a body of a tranny Adonis
    Lord, it really wasn’t a surprise

    Dude, (Looks Like a Lady)
    Aerosmith

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