Densest Element Discovered – IOTW Report

Densest Element Discovered

Saturday, 24 April 2021, 0:30 MJA Uncategorized 29

Never Yet Melted-

Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. more here

29 Comments on Densest Element Discovered

  2. Ordinary quantum mechanics doesn’t apply to Governmentium, a fact attributed to the great bureaucratician, C. Northcote Parkinson, who long ago discovered a new relativistic time dilation equation that replaces Lorentz’ famous one used in Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. It turns out Governmentium expands it’s own space-time continuum to always equal the amount of space-time available around it, enveloping everything it touches and turning it into a smelly brown substance while making a loud sucking sound. Scientists are still trying to determine what that substance is and how to deal with it.

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  5. And here I thought this was a thread about the current POTUS 46…oops.

    I should go to BED already.

    Nevermind…I saw the word…’dense’…

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  13. They forgot a close cousin of governmentium, bullshitium a strange brown smelly substance constantly emitted by members of the media (mediabums) and academiadumb and hollyweirdium. And the biggest isodope of them all joeybidenisdumb and his female consort the hodium which sucks the life out of everything that gets in its way. And of course there are also the pelousium, the madmaxium and AOCium which is a whole different critter with an immense amount of empty, wasted space inside her pea sized cranium.

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  15. Maybe Rocky and Bullwinkle were right when they created Upsadaisium a very dense substance that has neither up nor down, right or wrong, dark is light and light is dark and is constantly confused and befuddled and changing form and doesn’t know what it’s doing at any given moment except making a mess of everything it touches. It’s closest comparison is the evil delirium which knows nothing and always leads straight down to hellish unintended (intended) consequences from the blackholeium it creates wherever it goes sucking the life out of everything in creation.

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  17. Don’t forget Treasonite and Tyrranium, the inevitable, self-generated, systemically lethal isotopes. However, a specific form of lead shielding is very effective in countering them but only when applied in sufficient quantities and speed.

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  23. But lead (symbol=Pb), if accelerated to a sufficient velocity and caused to collide with Governmentium (symbol=GV), can disrupt enough of the morons to change its density.

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