yep. 10 million buys me a snail wrangler team to keep him entertained and away from me. can’t kill it but can keep it contained
13
Can it be put in a lock box?
2
Ten million dollars will buy you a really nice fast S car which can outrun that snail and people will say, “Man, did you see that escargot.”
40
What’s a snail’s top speed? I need to know before I decide.
6
Walnut1, it might depend of his mode of transportation.
6
All he has to do is find me, when he always has my location.
If he knows my location he has found me.
I’ll still take the 10 million, I’ll do an immediate wire transfer to all my friends, most of my family and BFH.
No worry BFH, I don’t have that many friends and only a few family members.
12
@ geoff the aardvark
Yer killin’ me man !
7
I’d take the money and carefully catch the snail and mail it to New Zealand.
8
Yep!
10 Mil, I can move to a Free State WITH NO FUCKING SNOW!
Give 6 mill to the Kids. Mine are SOLID.
I can ride 20 miles a day on any of my bikes.
I can smash that Bastage with a Hockey Stick and walk, ride, drive away until tomorrow and out comes the hammer again. (gives me a purpose)
When it eventually catches me, I’ll be in poor health, and then he’s doing me a favour.
Only ONE REAL QUESTION:
Does the deal commit me to HELL or HEAVEN?
That is the ONLY thing I care about ultimately.
Interesting postulation
7
Land snail or sea snail?
6
Yep. I would epoxy some braided fishing line to his shell attached to a heavy weight at the end…Terminator snail would have to work very hard to get to me. Lastly, I would pour salt around the areas I would frequent and keep making its life hell.
10
Set up my new house in a salt mine.
Done deal.
18
10 millions tax free?
6
Is it an African or European snail?
18
I have bad news. If it’s not the snail, then something else is going to catch you and every death is terrible. You are going to die. So is everyone else.
Take the money.
13
A snail travels at about a meter per hour. It takes it 40 days to travel just one kilometer. I’m pretty sure I could stay ahead of the grim reaper until I die of old age.
9
@Dr. Hambone — and what’s the mucous trail speed velocity?
6
Sounds like the IRS. Does it bleed? If it bleeds I can kill it.
6
yes, take the money and then be howard hughes….no snail is gonna make it to my airplane…. 🙂
1
oh wait…..only ten million?
never mind
4
you people are gonna have to try to keep up with inflation, okay?
these days, even the Devil has to offer at least nine digits fer yer soul…….
2
I don’t have $10,000,000.00 but I have enough to live on. I will not look over my shoulder to see if a damn snail is sneaking up on me. It’s bad enough to have the IRS and all the fucking government agencies trying to stir up shit!
8
Don’t know where the money is coming from but if the government is involved;
The snail will get you before the government makes good on their promise.
7
I made $100/hour running from a snail…
14
There’s an assumption that the snail only travels at pace and never hitches a ride on any other mode of transportation, or that it never learns your behavior patterns and just hangs out under a seat at your favorite restaurant, waiting patiently for you to arrive.
$10 million may buy a lot of things, but it doesn’t buy peace of mind.
7
Joe6. LOL. yea but you’re happy so your opinion doesn’t count.
I love what I do. I make pretty good money and buy what I need/want. The economic challenges I have faced have been due to the Bush, Obama, and yes the Biden Administrations.
My youngest sons mother in law hit it big with Zoom stock options. Like 21 mil. That was three years ago. Last night she was threatening suicide. So there is that.
8
Fucking snails!
5
Brad, at least she doesn’t have a snail tracking her down. That could give someone nightmares.
5
Take the money.
Lock it in a box.
Pay Musk to put it in orbit with his next rocket launch. It can’t weigh that much. Heck, he might even do it for free with the publicity from it.
Then go smoke a cigar with Elon and start your new life.
6
joe6pak
In her case the IRS might actually be the snail of death. Turns out she didn’t realize if you don’t pay them on real estate transactions there’s major penalties involved. I can tell you some stories. My sons wife was raised by her father. Thank God.
7
Dadof4, how do you know he’s got the right fricken snail. They all kind of look alike. And since they don’t have arms and hands they can’t carry a banner that says “I’m coming for you, Dadof4”. I’d rather sleep well at night, a snail on a suicide mission might keep me awake.
5
What’s the IQ of the snail?
Can it communicate with agents who act on its behalf?
Does it have technology?
What’s its reward for killing me?
What hasn’t it already killed Hillary Clinton?
4
Evil: When I have the map, I will be free, and the world will be different, because I have understanding.
Minion: Uh, understanding of what, Master?
Evil: Digital watches. And soon I shall have understanding of video cassette recorders and car telephones. And when I have understanding of them, I shall have understanding of computers. And when I have understanding of computers, I shall be the Supreme Being! God isn’t interested in technology. He knows nothing of the potential of the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how He spends His time! Forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!
Robert: Slugs.
Evil: Slugs! He created slugs. They can’t hear! They can’t speak! They can’t operate machinery! I mean, are we not in the hands of a lunatic?… If I were creating a world, I wouldn’t mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would have started with lasers, eight o’clock, day one! [accidentally zaps a minion, who screams] Sorry.
3
Capture the slug in a running exercise wheel for slugs connected to a generator to power one pixel of a TV.
2
Put the snail in a bullet proof glass box with no door and leave it on my bedroom dresser.
You could verify it’s ‘the snail’ before boxing by making sure it always moves in your direction, which is the only hard part.
1
Average garden snail goes 0.03 mph, which means it would take 33 hours to go one mile.
I think I can move more than one mile each day. Heck, I can live in one place as long as I keep the snail more than half a mile away at any given time!
Show me the money!
1
Glad I didn’t read this last night. I’d have had nightmares of snails chasing me all night.
And the answer is no. If you’re not happy with what you already have how is $10 million going to make you any happier?
2
“Dadof4, how do you know he’s got the right fricken snail.”
You’re the one catching it. It’s the one always coming after you.
fullmetal256’s answer seems ok. It’s just objects can be broken or opened by someone else when you’re not looking. That seems to be a theme in my life. Everything is handled and running smoothly and then someone comes along and, innocent or not, trashes what’s going well in life in some way.
I know someone that will interfere if given a chance and thinks she’s trying to do something good. For her, at least. If the sentence starts off with: “Well, I figured…” I’ve already lost at whatever is coming out of that mouth next. I can imagine the snail box being cleaned – as an unapproved favor for me – and the snail escaping because she didn’t know you couldn’t kill it.
Nah. Put it in orbit. Send it to the Sun. Put it on Voyager 3. Somewhere off the Earth.
2
Capture the snail and send it to France.
After it’s passed through the intestines of 65 Million frogs you’d probably be dead of old age, anyway.
mortem tyrannis
izlamo delenda est …
1
If it’s a boy snail, give it a girl snail. They oughta take a few days to make baby snails, enough time for you to escape.
1
I would give the snail half the money and by the time he remembered his quest to kill me, I will have given most of my half to my family and friends. What I had left, I’d enjoy until I was sent to heaven and then keep enjoying my new fortune.
4
Depends on whether you’re
a boy or girl. Boys are
made of snips and snails
and puppy dog tails,So
a boy would in all likelihood
be immune. I’d take the money.
All depends. Is the snail a metaphor that Im not catching?
1
What did the snail traffic cop say to the turtle? “Pull over buddy, you’re moving too fast.”
NO!
yep. 10 million buys me a snail wrangler team to keep him entertained and away from me. can’t kill it but can keep it contained
Can it be put in a lock box?
Ten million dollars will buy you a really nice fast S car which can outrun that snail and people will say, “Man, did you see that escargot.”
What’s a snail’s top speed? I need to know before I decide.
Walnut1, it might depend of his mode of transportation.
All he has to do is find me, when he always has my location.
If he knows my location he has found me.
I’ll still take the 10 million, I’ll do an immediate wire transfer to all my friends, most of my family and BFH.
No worry BFH, I don’t have that many friends and only a few family members.
@ geoff the aardvark
Yer killin’ me man !
I’d take the money and carefully catch the snail and mail it to New Zealand.
Yep!
10 Mil, I can move to a Free State WITH NO FUCKING SNOW!
Give 6 mill to the Kids. Mine are SOLID.
I can ride 20 miles a day on any of my bikes.
I can smash that Bastage with a Hockey Stick and walk, ride, drive away until tomorrow and out comes the hammer again. (gives me a purpose)
When it eventually catches me, I’ll be in poor health, and then he’s doing me a favour.
Only ONE REAL QUESTION:
Does the deal commit me to HELL or HEAVEN?
That is the ONLY thing I care about ultimately.
Interesting postulation
Land snail or sea snail?
Yep. I would epoxy some braided fishing line to his shell attached to a heavy weight at the end…Terminator snail would have to work very hard to get to me. Lastly, I would pour salt around the areas I would frequent and keep making its life hell.
Set up my new house in a salt mine.
Done deal.
10 millions tax free?
Is it an African or European snail?
I have bad news. If it’s not the snail, then something else is going to catch you and every death is terrible. You are going to die. So is everyone else.
Take the money.
A snail travels at about a meter per hour. It takes it 40 days to travel just one kilometer. I’m pretty sure I could stay ahead of the grim reaper until I die of old age.
@Dr. Hambone — and what’s the mucous trail speed velocity?
Sounds like the IRS. Does it bleed? If it bleeds I can kill it.
yes, take the money and then be howard hughes….no snail is gonna make it to my airplane…. 🙂
oh wait…..only ten million?
never mind
you people are gonna have to try to keep up with inflation, okay?
these days, even the Devil has to offer at least nine digits fer yer soul…….
I don’t have $10,000,000.00 but I have enough to live on. I will not look over my shoulder to see if a damn snail is sneaking up on me. It’s bad enough to have the IRS and all the fucking government agencies trying to stir up shit!
Don’t know where the money is coming from but if the government is involved;
The snail will get you before the government makes good on their promise.
I made $100/hour running from a snail…
There’s an assumption that the snail only travels at pace and never hitches a ride on any other mode of transportation, or that it never learns your behavior patterns and just hangs out under a seat at your favorite restaurant, waiting patiently for you to arrive.
$10 million may buy a lot of things, but it doesn’t buy peace of mind.
Joe6. LOL. yea but you’re happy so your opinion doesn’t count.
I love what I do. I make pretty good money and buy what I need/want. The economic challenges I have faced have been due to the Bush, Obama, and yes the Biden Administrations.
My youngest sons mother in law hit it big with Zoom stock options. Like 21 mil. That was three years ago. Last night she was threatening suicide. So there is that.
Fucking snails!
Brad, at least she doesn’t have a snail tracking her down. That could give someone nightmares.
Take the money.
Lock it in a box.
Pay Musk to put it in orbit with his next rocket launch. It can’t weigh that much. Heck, he might even do it for free with the publicity from it.
Then go smoke a cigar with Elon and start your new life.
joe6pak
In her case the IRS might actually be the snail of death. Turns out she didn’t realize if you don’t pay them on real estate transactions there’s major penalties involved. I can tell you some stories. My sons wife was raised by her father. Thank God.
Dadof4, how do you know he’s got the right fricken snail. They all kind of look alike. And since they don’t have arms and hands they can’t carry a banner that says “I’m coming for you, Dadof4”. I’d rather sleep well at night, a snail on a suicide mission might keep me awake.
What’s the IQ of the snail?
Can it communicate with agents who act on its behalf?
Does it have technology?
What’s its reward for killing me?
What hasn’t it already killed Hillary Clinton?
Evil: When I have the map, I will be free, and the world will be different, because I have understanding.
Minion: Uh, understanding of what, Master?
Evil: Digital watches. And soon I shall have understanding of video cassette recorders and car telephones. And when I have understanding of them, I shall have understanding of computers. And when I have understanding of computers, I shall be the Supreme Being! God isn’t interested in technology. He knows nothing of the potential of the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how He spends His time! Forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!
Robert: Slugs.
Evil: Slugs! He created slugs. They can’t hear! They can’t speak! They can’t operate machinery! I mean, are we not in the hands of a lunatic?… If I were creating a world, I wouldn’t mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would have started with lasers, eight o’clock, day one! [accidentally zaps a minion, who screams] Sorry.
Capture the slug in a running exercise wheel for slugs connected to a generator to power one pixel of a TV.
Put the snail in a bullet proof glass box with no door and leave it on my bedroom dresser.
You could verify it’s ‘the snail’ before boxing by making sure it always moves in your direction, which is the only hard part.
Average garden snail goes 0.03 mph, which means it would take 33 hours to go one mile.
I think I can move more than one mile each day. Heck, I can live in one place as long as I keep the snail more than half a mile away at any given time!
Show me the money!
Glad I didn’t read this last night. I’d have had nightmares of snails chasing me all night.
And the answer is no. If you’re not happy with what you already have how is $10 million going to make you any happier?
“Dadof4, how do you know he’s got the right fricken snail.”
You’re the one catching it. It’s the one always coming after you.
fullmetal256’s answer seems ok. It’s just objects can be broken or opened by someone else when you’re not looking. That seems to be a theme in my life. Everything is handled and running smoothly and then someone comes along and, innocent or not, trashes what’s going well in life in some way.
I know someone that will interfere if given a chance and thinks she’s trying to do something good. For her, at least. If the sentence starts off with: “Well, I figured…” I’ve already lost at whatever is coming out of that mouth next. I can imagine the snail box being cleaned – as an unapproved favor for me – and the snail escaping because she didn’t know you couldn’t kill it.
Nah. Put it in orbit. Send it to the Sun. Put it on Voyager 3. Somewhere off the Earth.
Capture the snail and send it to France.
After it’s passed through the intestines of 65 Million frogs you’d probably be dead of old age, anyway.
mortem tyrannis
izlamo delenda est …
If it’s a boy snail, give it a girl snail. They oughta take a few days to make baby snails, enough time for you to escape.
I would give the snail half the money and by the time he remembered his quest to kill me, I will have given most of my half to my family and friends. What I had left, I’d enjoy until I was sent to heaven and then keep enjoying my new fortune.
Depends on whether you’re
a boy or girl. Boys are
made of snips and snails
and puppy dog tails,So
a boy would in all likelihood
be immune. I’d take the money.
All depends. Is the snail a metaphor that Im not catching?
What did the snail traffic cop say to the turtle? “Pull over buddy, you’re moving too fast.”
The snail could still be trapped permanently.
I’ll take the money.
That snot a snail trail…