Enough With the Pathetic Stories of People Walking To Work – IOTW Report

Enough With the Pathetic Stories of People Walking To Work

Monday, 2 March 2015, 9:22 BFH Home 0

This is becoming absurd.

First there was the guy in Detroit who walked to and from work 21 miles, every day- snow, sleet, rain, sun, and NEVER missed a day of work! (Unlikely.)

Now we have a guy who walks THIRTY-FIVE miles to work every day, for 9 dollars an hour, while his sick wife, with a bad ticker, waits at home. I’m sure the GO FUND ME crowd will be throwing their money at the guy, because putting money in a hanging red cauldron is soooooo pre-iPhone. It’s soooooo Portlandia to crowd-fund around one guy with a story that is, frankly, bullsh!t.

I don’t want to hear it. The guy is 61. I’m supposed to believe he walks 35 miles to work (which, by the way, would take over ten hours) and then works 8 hours as a janitor, only to go home to recharge his batteries to do it all over again?

Why isn’t he an Olympian?

The story says he leaves at 3:30pm to make it to work by 11:30pm. But later in the story they say he averages about 4 hours a day walking, depending on how many people pick him up along the way. Theoretically, he can get to work by 4pm if someone picks him up right away and takes him all the way. That leaves 7 hours of just hanging around. Methinks this guy prefers being away from home.263AA7BA00000578-2975185-image-m-6_1425286081449

Man on right, pictured with his, apparently, useless grandson

Unlike the Detroit guy, this guy has a car, but he said he can’t afford to put gas in it. His trek is 70 highway miles a day, round trip. Let’s say that is 3 gallons of gas a day. Let’s call that 9 bucks a day. He would lose an hour’s pay a day to save 8 hours of walking. Do I have to be the first one to say that this guy is a moron? He could get another job with all the time he saves.

I hate to be cynical, but there is good reason to be cynical. I’ve seen things. Bullshit things.

There is good reason to think the story is ridiculous even if it is true. How much does a moped cost?

Before the PleaseFundMeI’veMadePoorLifeChoices.com crowd rings up the tally to $676,000, maybe they can cap it off $2500 and get the guy a nice moped.

You know, if the guy put $250 down, he could finance this on his own for about 50 bucks a month (the cost of what he’s probably paying in shoes if he is really making this march.) But, like I said, I think he prefers to be away from home.

30 Comments on Enough With the Pathetic Stories of People Walking To Work

  1. I walked over a mile up hill in the snow to school at the peak of global cooling in the 70’s, only to have to do it again to get home. And yes it was uphill going home too, just with more snow.

    Now Fund Me!

  2. I walk to work every day myself…it’s about 30 feet out my back door to my studio. Hell, I walk back and forth a dozen times a day.

    I believe the Detroit guy’s story Fur-this one? Not a bit

  3. I’m not a hard-hearted guy. I just see a fashionable trend beginning here, with people lining up with their pathetic stories in hopes of striking it rich with the Hipster Doofuses.

    You’re going to have to do better Menderman.
    I have a guy over here that has 2 wooden legs, one with dry rot, who unicycles 60 miles to work where he makes $7.50 an hour on an assembly line where he makes, ironically, monogrammed wallets for Wall Street tycoons.

  4. MM,
    you can believe the Detroit story. I just find it hard to believe he did this in Detroit weather and NEVER MISSED A DAY!
    No way, no how.

    Call me nuts, I just don’t see the wisdom in trekking 8 hours a day to a menial job when that time would be better served working a second job, which would get you a car.

    Should idiotic, senseless and quizzical life choices warrant a GOFUNDME of over 400k?

    I can point to some idiots – throw them half a mil.

  6. I have to walk from my couch to the kitchen to get a beer several times a day. I used to have to take my assistance checks to the bank but EBT has allowed me to be free of that chore.

  7. As a boy living in Buenos Aires but going to school in Montevideo, I had to swim 60 miles across the Rio de la Plata every morning and every afternoon, battling sharks, piranha, Portuguese Men o’ War, and cigarette smuggling boats. Did I ever get any money to help me out? NoooOOOOoo, of course not.

    Maybe if I turn my story into a movie treatment I could make a few bucks today… (-:

  10. well if your hypothesis is correct about “all the current walking to work stories” being nothing but some sort of panhandling scheme, then the ingenuity of the American is truly awe inspiring.
    even from our american bums.
    using social media to panhandle.
    that is American ingenuity at its finest!
    personally, I imagine it is more disguised fascist government conditioning of the masses by the state run media for what lies ahead after they cut off the masses fossil fuel use. we will all be walking.

  11. Hey BFH, is your guy the same one that got attacked by the endangered Cockaded Woodpeckers? That was a tough video to watch. It was illegal for him to defend himself. So sad.

  12. Although I get it about enough is enough with the stories but what I don’t get is why are you complaining now? Why didn’t you wait until the white guy, your own race, got his fair share of sympathy $ and than complain. Why didn’t you pick apart the blalck guys story. Why do whites treat other whites soooo harsh and give the blacks a pass. DON”T TURN ON YOUR OWN KIND!!!!!!! The government does enough of that on their own

  13. I was born with the unfortunate name of Gwyneth Paltrow and I have to do so much more work than stay-at-home moms. My Goop site is a tremendous undertaking and lord knows how I’m going to pay for all my daily vaginal steamings. GoFuckMe I mean GoFundMe.

  14. Gee, I don’t know.. I usually drive to work..sometimes, I even ride the bus.. but, while at work I usually walk between 5- 6 miles per shift on hard concrete floors.. maybe, someone can help go fund me for a better pair of shoes.. since, the ones I have now have holes in the soles..lol

  16. That grandson looks like a little con. And the marathon walk-o-matic man looks too rickety to do such a feat. I call bullshit. That Detroit guy was a bit bullshitty too, because he was given rides a lot of the time – but that was played down.

  17. I wonder how the find me sites actually verify these stories. I imagine they are getting a slice (however small) of the donations for handling the money and if just a few were shown to be frauds then the site itself would end up closed for lack of traffic. Which is a shame as this is an easy way for people of generous spirit (but maybe suffering from a slight lack of healthy skepticism) can give a few bucks to a person or cause that needs it.

  19. There’s a guy here with no arms or legs and has to pull himself, by his chin, 45 miles each way to work, where he makes minimum wage biting decorative teethmarks in imitation leather.

    Send the money to me, and I’ll see that he gets it … minus a small handling fee.

  20. I’ve heard of a blackish POSPOUS who flys hundreds of thousands of miles a year to play golf, and he doesn’t ask for money from stupid white people. Its actually paid for by really stupid white people who keep electing representatives to congress who don’t defund the Golfer in Chief.

  22. @ Charlie- It may just be me, but the grandson doesn’t look like a mental giant. The kid probably doesn’t know 35 miles from 35 feet. I don’t think the kid has any concept of distance.

  24. I have 21 dependents to feed and none have the same father. I work a menial job on Venus. Twice a day I fly there and back by flapping my arms. It’s a long way and I am 93 years old. Pity me ’cause I can’t afford the Gwynneth Paltry steam cleaning.
    Send lots of money to Dewey, Cheatum and Howe.

  26. I commute 15 miles each way – in a chauffered limousine. However, sometimes the champagne is not properly chilled, and the toast for my caviar is browned too much. Last week, one of my constituents tried to talk to me through the bullet-proof glass before my bodyguard tasered him.

    But don’t worry, whatever is not raised through crowd funding will be subsidized by your tax money. You deserve the best.

  27. Anyone know if these funding things actually get any of the pledged money? Like Obama’s Twit(ter) followers numbers?

    If the perps actually get any money from this, how much do they have left over for a car, after paying capital gains taxes?

  28. I also remember reading that Walking Man Alpha from Detroit suddenly came into a sizeable wad of cash to go along with the car from the Ford dealership – he had to move out of his place because he was afraid of being robbed. Maybe they should crowdsource 24 hour security for the poor man!

    You are exactly on the money with this thing BFH. My cynicism has been maxed out on this kind of thing since 9/11 when President Bush made sure all the victims at the WTC got big piles of cash to show our national empathy for their loss. (which generated numerous lawsuits over who should get more). We really do need to get back to helping our neighbor personally and not just throw more anonymous cash at them.

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