Essential!!! Every Dad is just itching to listen to Hillary narrate her fake life story

45 Comments on Essential!!! Every Dad is just itching to listen to Hillary narrate her fake life story

1. Piss on a running engines spark plug.

2. Thank God I’m not a father, if I got that for Father’s Day, I would no longer be a father.

3. Is that going to sell as well in audiobook, as it did in the dead-tree version? (cricket. . . cricket. . . cricket. . . )

4. Train Nancy Pelosi’s breasts for milk production

5. I’d rather crawl through a pile of fresh cow flops, and not wash off for a week, than read/listen to Hellery’s book.

   Besides, with a title like “Hard Choices”, with Huma around, isn’t that false advertising?

6. I’d rather stroll naked through an ISIS camp than listen to Hillary’s audiobook.

7. I would rather have a three-quart jalapeño enema than listen to Dead-Eye’s audio book.

8. Am I the only person on this website who is HOT FOR HILLARY? First I’m going to take off her Mao jacket. Then I’m going to take off her Mao pants.

   Then I’m going to beg Huma for the combination to her chastity belt.

9. I would rather watch a porn video starring Henry Waxman and Maxine Waters than listen to that daned audio book.

10. Dang, PHenry! You’re even sicker than I am, and that ain’t easy!

11. I would bang Hillary… with a wrecking ball to the temple.

12. PHenry, thanks for the visual. Now I have to acid wash my brain.

13. I’d rather curl my hair by electric eel than listen to Hillary’s audiobook.

14. I’d rather watch Larry King exercise in a Speedo than listen to Hillary’s audiobook.

15. I’m watching the local news here. The rich people of Chappaqua, NY are going gaga with pride as their little hamlet “produced” the first lesbo alcoholic person as a presidential candidate. I thought one hot looking “reporter” was going to burst into tears of pure joy.
    I’m going to vomit now. Then I have to shower and go to work.
    See y’all later.

16. I would rather water ski in a hog farm waste lagoon.

17. I’d be disowned for giving that to my father.

18. Alright #nevertrumpers.

    Time to man up and support Trump or cause the rest of us to suffer. And you will too and you know it.

19. I’d rather smell burning bone listening to a high RPM drill sitting in the dentist chair to get a dozen root canals.

20. That wasn’t a glass ceiling shattering last night, it was her server’s hard drive.

21. do lena dunham

22. I’d rather hear Yoko Ono cover Barry White songs. But not by much.

23. I’d rather clean Bill’s foreskin with my tooth brush.

24. @hungjumper
    Any regrets about that comment? Lol. You should at have least used George stephanopolous’ tooth brush.
    No reason to put your self in that kind of jeopardy.

25. I’d rather listen to a Trump debate between JohnS and Abigail Adams.

    Wait…

26. Oh, Menderman, I don’t know. I think listening to Hillary’s book would be less nausea-inducing. But only just. LOL

27. Lick the rim of a toilet in grand central station

28. I’d rather sleep on a bed of forks than listen to Hillary’s audiobook.

29. I’d rather clip my toenails with a wood chipper than listen to Hillary’s audiobook.

30. I’d rather play drums on 4 killer bee hives than listen to Hillary’s audiobook.

31. Who’s gonna narrate the Hillary book?…Morgan Freeman?, Meryl Streep?, Helen Mirren?….nah, there’s only one choice…Gilbert Gottfried!…if he narrates it, I’ll listen for a bit…but I’ll be drinkin’…

32. The only way that “book” is useful to me is if it comes on a perforated roll.

33. I’d rather watch “Caitlyn” Jenner & Richard Simmons “work out” together than listen to Hillary’s audiobook.

34. Gilbert Gottfried needs to narrate it…https://youtu.be/XkLqAlIETkA

35. I’d rather have a prostate exam from Freddy Krueger.

36. I want to hear James Earl Jones read Hillary’s eulogy at her Hope Baptist Church funeral in Arkansas.

    Until then, she can kiss my mouse.

37. Great thread. Give yourselves a round of applause and I’m buying the drinks.

38. I’d rather listen to that fucking “My Pillow” commercial
    ten times a day than listen to Killary.

39. I’d rather slam my nuts in a car door than listen to Killary’s audiobook.

40. Sylvia…you vixen!…this thread was about Hillary’s book and you turned it into her eulogy….thank you….

41. Hillary’s eulogy SHOULD be read by Gilbert Gottfried…LOL…

42. @moetom
    “MyPillow” commercial only 10 times a day?
    You are blessed my friend.
    And about this National Sleep Foundation that has made my pillow their official pillow.

    First is. How do I get a job at the national sleep foundation? Sounds perfect for me.

    I’ve got other questions. If one of their employees oversleeps and is late for work do they get fired, get a bonus or put on the board of directors?

    I really need to know about this dream job.

43. PHenry. I may apply to the National Sleep Foundation for a job. Do they hire loafers?

44. I’d rather have a root canal, have a barium enema, and sit for the New York State bar exam……SIMULTANEOUSLY.

45. Some asshole sent me a bag of Circus Peanuts for Father’s Day … and I’d rather have the Circus Peanuts …