FEMA: In case of nuclear war, please keep 6 feet apart and wear a mask – IOTW Report

FEMA: In case of nuclear war, please keep 6 feet apart and wear a mask

A FEMA document about nuclear explosions reveals the utter fatuousness of our bureaucracy.

American Thinker:
By Andrea Widburg

No matter the purpose for which they’re established, bureaucracies often become ends in themselves, self-perpetuating entities that generate paper to justify their existence.  That seems to be the case with FEMA, at least insofar as its rules for nuclear disasters go.  Some poor desk drone was given the task of updating FEMA documents to reflect the CDC’s ridiculous COVID requirements.  That drone worked hard, with the result being that the FEMA guidelines for a nuclear explosion now include masks and social distancing in bomb shelters.

Once again, Libs of Tik Tok has the news on her irreplaceable Twitter account.  She (or someone with whom she communicates) felt that, with Putin threatening to start a nuclear war, it might be useful to check out the government’s guidance for responding to the fallout from a nuclear attack.  That’s how we learn that someone at FEMA laboriously updated FEMA guidelines with CDC requirements about social distancing and masks.  And that’s how we end up with these ludicrous advisories:

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26 Comments on FEMA: In case of nuclear war, please keep 6 feet apart and wear a mask

  1. LocoBlancoSaltine MARCH 1, 2022 AT 8:16 AM

    Not a problem for my family.
    I’ve installed a room full of grade-school desks to duck under
    ================

    I would need to install some school lockers.

    We were told to assume the position in front of our lockers.

    As a 3rd grader I knew it was just so they could identify our bodies instead of surviving a blast.

    The only thing that saved my sanity is I thought it was complete BS. Just another thing they made us do. Even at 8, things were that obvious.

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  2. Bomb shelter, it saved me! The nuked world will not, contaminated for hundreds/thousands of years. There is no saving in a all out nuclear war. Even limited would have dire consequences.

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  3. Dadof4, that was our tornado drills.
    I suppose to stay clear of flying glass?
    The nuke drill was under our desk for some reason.
    I suppose glass wasn’t as bad as the second floor falling on your head?

    We actually had a tornado rip through Louisville on April 3rd, 1973 though we weren’t in school.
    I always liked the drills as it displaced some of the daily school monotony.

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  4. This is as dumb or even dumber than the duck and cover drills we did in grade school back in the late 50’s and early 60’s. I was 6 or 7 at the time and even I knew hiding under my desk wasn’t going to save my ass in case we were nuked. Where’s Bert the turtle when you need him? What stupid idea will these progtard dumbasses think up next? This has all the scenario of a really bad B grade disaster movie, The day we were all masked after we were all nuked. You’d still be dead but wearing a gubmint approved mask, explain that to a laughing St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

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  5. At times like this I always recall what Rudyard Kipling wrote: “A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition.” Since Kipling left off face masks and other evidence of unmanly cowardice, I’ll avoid letting anyone in my fallout shelter wearing one. You’re on your own now, and I won’t share my canned goods and liquor with you. Fweedom!

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  6. Hey, you could always hide inside an old fashioned lead lined refrigerator like Harrison Ford did in that last really bad Indiana Jones movie to save himself from a nuke explosion. If it worked for him in the movie why not try that in the real world, NOT!

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  7. I like the old method they used when I was in school: When the warning sounds, crawl under your desk, put your head between your knees, look up, and kiss your ass goodbye.

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  8. Is this a real article or a fake news story from the Babylon Bee? We truly have lost our minds if we (not me) keep on believing everything that emanates and spews forth out of the lamestream media. Dan Bongino increduously talked about this yesterday on his radio show. The left is beyond nuts, it’s like God has really given them over to their delusions causing them to perpetually spew this nonsense and expecting everyone else to believe all their lies and bs. Sorry, idjits I’m not a Bozo on this (short) bus.

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  9. And just where are the supposed fallout shelters? Never seen one yet.
    I know Russia’s got a bunch of them, but what nobody told me was what do they do afterwards?
    The place to be is ground zero, if you want to bring a mask have at it.

    4
  10. I’d rather die from the initial blast than slowly die from radiation effects and wandering blood hungry zombies. Seen way too many movies on the after effects.

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  11. Like what we were told about tornado when I was a kid.
    Go to the southwest corner of the basement.
    Not any safer there, it just makes it easier to find the bodies.

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  12. “There is no saving in a all out nuclear war. Even limited would have dire consequences.”

    The cockroaches will survive – so Pelosi, Biden, the Clintons, Schumer, Schitt, Hogan, O’Cortez, Tlaib, Omar, &c. will all be OK.

    mortem tyrannis
    izlamo delenda est …

    2
  13. No matter the purpose for which they’re established, bureaucracies often become ends in themselves, self-perpetuating entities that generate paper to justify their existence.

    That’s the opening “argument”!?

    The standing up of a new government throne, to issue edicts over hoi polloi, is the reason, the sole reason, for creating government “departments”.

    Oh. “American ‘Thinker'”. Never mind.

    2
  14. If it comes to nukes, I’m heading right to the Ontario Guvmint run Lick-her Store and getting my hands on those $3,999 & Above bottles in the lockup.

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