ORLANDO, Fla. (WFLA) — The Orlando Police Department arrested a man after he stole nearly $1 million in jewelry and swallowed it.
According to WESH, police responded to reports of a robbery at Tiffany & Co. at the Mall at Millenia on Feb. 26.
Police said the suspect, Jaythan Gilder, 32, pretended to represent an Orlando Magic player to gain access to the store.
Gilder was taken to a private room to view jewelry, during which he grabbed the jewelry and ran out of the room, injuring two employees in the process. Police were able to locate Gilder with the help of cameras in the mall parking lot.
Orlando police arrested Gilder, and they said he confessed to swallowing the jewelry, which scans confirmed. more
I imagine $1 million in Tiffany jewelry adds up to a light snack.
usual suspect
Anonymous
Monday, 24 March 2025, 11:08 at 11:08 am
“usual suspect”
…would the jeweler have belived he was a basketball star if he wasnt?
It came to a shitty conclusion.
“WHEN DID YOU NEXT SEE THE DIAMOND?”
“NOT UNTIL THE NEXT DAY”
THE HOT ROCK, 1972
He listened to Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, and now he will be shitting Tiffany cuff links.
Sportsball players have such bad taste that a coating of shit may be an improvement.
“This too shall pass”
No rinse and repeat.
Those sharp edges could do a lot of slicing and dicing on their way thru.
soon to be giving new meaning to the term “jewel movement”
the world’s most expensive dump
If this becomes a trend, somebody needs to invent the poop loupe.
Give him an extra-large dose of Ex-Lax.
Awwwww, that was a shitty thing to do.
I see a colonoscopy prep in your future, son. Engoy!
Best be careful. Actions can start rumors and rumors can start trends, its happened before…
“(550) Yet another plague seized those who were thus preserved. For there was found among the Syrian deserters a certain person who was caught gathering pieces of gold out of his excrement. For the deserters used to swallow such pieces of gold, as we told you before, when they came out….
(551) When this contrivance was discovered in one instance, the report that the deserters came to them full of gold filled their several camps. So the multitude of the Arabs with the Syrians cut up those that came as supplicants and searched their bellies.”
-Flavius Josephus, “The Jewish War”, Book X
https://cojs.org/josephus-_war-_x-_420-565-_the_siege_of_jerusalem/
You don’t HAHAHA! SWALLOW the jewels sweetie, you LICK them with your HAHAHAHA! tounge when you get to the base!
See what HAHAHAHA! happens when you don’t have a woman of experience in HAHAHAHA! charge?
I clicked the link to read the story. In the middle of the story was a link to another article, as follows:
DoorDash to offer eat first, pay later option to customers
Anybody else find that entertaining?
The Babylon Bee has that covered with one of today’s headlines, Door Dash to offer $2.99 upgrade where driver will pre-pray for your food.