Foodlums

‘Foodlums’ steal tofu, organic drinks in Portland, OR

King5Seattle–PORTLAND, Ore. – A truck delivering tofu and organic drinks was stolen Tuesday morning from a Portland Safeway. The theft happened at Southeast 39th Avenue and Powell Boulevard.

Hours later, police reported finding the truck belonging to R&K Foods of Seattle was abandoned at Southeast 85th and Lafayette Street, but the food and drinks were gone.

“One person most appropriately nicknamed the suspects ‘foodlums,'” said Portland police Sgt. Pete Simpson. “So we are looking for two foodlums who have stolen tofu and organic drinks.”

Slava Kernogitski met the people driving it, a man and woman, he told KGW. They asked for a hand truck to unload the items.

“Nice girl, nice guy, not so bad,” he said. “I thinking this is probably somebody who stole car, I call 911.”

When the owner of a nearby Asian food cart serving tofu dishes was asked if anyone had been by peddling soybean cakes, Annie Nan laughed and said no.

Instead, she recommended her spicy tofu fry.

“You try it. It’s very good,” said Nan.

Simpson said it’s conceivable that there might be a black market for tofu and organic drinks. “Um, it may be hard to penetrate that network.”

Meanwhile, “anyone going door-to-door selling tofu: think twice,” he said.

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I suspect that the suspects had sloppy hand knitted woolen beanies over their unwashed hair, they wore socks with their Birkenstocks and were covered in socially relevant tattoos. He had a thick manly beard while wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt. She had many chunks of metal piercing her face and her hair was a sickly pastel lavender. At least one had an ear gauging ear ring with an opening big enough for a parrot to sit. They voted for Obama in the last 2 elections and are rallying for Bernie in 2016.

Put a bird on it.