A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.”
Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow, what a guy!”
Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”
Passenger: “How did you meet him?”
Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”
-Petrus
LMAO! I wanted to meet him, too.
LMAO !!!
The Mythical perfect man.
I have enough faults for Frank Feldman and me, he’s covered.
Frank and my neighbor would get along great.
My neighbor does everything perfectly, too.
And you don’t even need to ask him about it – he’ll talk your ears off telling you about how great he is anyway.
I wonder if the cabbies wife is a vegan too?
So many of us feel like we know Frank Feldman, although none of us had actually met him.
He must be related to the guy who’s always telling you how he has the best of everything, does the most interesting things and know everything. God! I hate that guy.
Very old joke. Still unfortunately true.
#Dr. Tar: I believe the species of individual you describe also is closely related to the type of person I call “Mr. Topper” who, whenever you relate something, has a story or situation that tops whatever you’ve said. Example: If you say you’ve got a rhinoceros in your backyard, he’s got two of them. And an aardvark.
I used to work with a guy whose favorite way of starting off a sentence was, “Well, that’s nothing…”.
🙂
First time I’ve heard this one. It made me laugh out loud at work which rarely happens.
Sort of like the joke about Mallory.
izlamo delenda est …