Gay Cereal – IOTW Report

Gay Cereal

Saturday, 19 October 2019, 6:46 BFH Uncategorized 55

Newsbusters-

“Kellogg’s is launching an LGBT-themed cereal so you can start your day with maximum gay… If you’re a fan of breakfast and being gay, we have grrrrreat news for you – Kellogg’s is launching an LGBT-themed cereal.”

Kellogg’s chief diversity officer (why does a cereal company need such a thing??) Priscilla Koranteng said, “At Kellogg, we are firmly committed to equality and inclusion in the workplace, marketplace and in the communities where we work and live.

We all belong together. So for the first time in history, our famous mascots and cereals are offered exclusively together in the same box for All Together Cereal. It’s a symbol of acceptance no matter how you look, where you’re from or who you love. We believe that all people deserve an environment where they can be their best selves.

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55 Comments on Gay Cereal

  7. Sooo….the Keebler Elves got demoted from Rlf to Fudgepacker?

    Seriously, whick Smelloggs mascot I s the gay one? I want to make sure to never buy that one again.

    This Korporate Amerika virtue signalling is repellent, repugnant, arrogant and fascist.
    I hope their market share, sales volume and share price take a giant dump

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  9. Kellogg’s made a big stand on gay shit a couple of years ago so they have been under the ban for a while. Which is fine. Post, General Mills and Quaker pick up the slack.

    Cause who doesn’t love having the gay agenda literally shoved down your throat.

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  12. Interesting. Makes one wonder about how this works. Cattle feed uses the sweepings which depending on what overflows or spills in the local cereal plant..Genius to market it to humans, no doubt they can charge extra by making it “special”.

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  15. ..if you REALLY want to pursue this “All Together” thing, go to a steakhouse, order a aged ribeye, a large, salt-rubbed potato, a nice wedge salad, some bacon-wrapped shrimp, and a good red wine, and a crème brûlée finisher…then stick it in a blender until you have a steak dinner paste.

    Still want it? Drink UP…

    …it’s not a perfect anology like this because I didn’t put in any deviant ingredients. So, put some shit on the straw you’re going to drink it out of first, like the coprophiliac devants like to lick off of each other’s. Enjoy.

    …oh, and that straw has been in a lot of OTHER rear ends too, so there’s a pretty good chance it’s got some social disease on it.

    THIS is what Kellogg’s is REALLY trying to serve us.

    What are you WATING for? Bon Appétit!

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  17. John Harvey Kellogg was a proponent of sexual abstinence. He invented corn flakes, which was intended to be an anaphrodisiac.

    This just consumed over half the supply of irony in the known universe.

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  19. Frosted Flakes is going to change from “They’re Grrrreat” to “They’re Faaaabulous”.

    Rice Krispies’ Snap, Crackle and Pop will finally reveal their homosexual polyamorous lifestyle.

    Joe Biden will be the celebrity cover on Corn Pops beating a drum.

    But having a box of Adam’s Apple Jacks Off will be seen by some closed minded people as going too far.

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  23. Thank you for your post. We’re glad you mentioned Cinnamon Toast Crunch. We’re not going to alter the winning flavor formulation nor the packaging at this time. However we do insist that, from now on, you pronounce it appropriately, with a lisp.

    Thank you for your compliance.

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  29. …maybe they’re still trying to make up for theb”Racist Janitor” box of Corn Pops, now that Joe Biden’s gone and raked THAT up all over again…

    https://time.com/4997485/kelloggs-corn-pops-cereal-boxes-racism-saladin-ahmed/

    https://www.ebay.com/i/332482918067?chn=ps&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-117182-37290-0&mkcid=2&itemid=332482918067&targetid=596465714788&device=m&mktype=pla&googleloc=9051608&poi=&campaignid=6470474827&mkgroupid=83197473768&rlsatarget=pla-596465714788&abcId=1140476&merchantid=116337803&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6KrtBRDLARIsAKzvQIHM60qzFJQFM5JTRnTkntGHxq4G839YibKTBzcLyhUHPErCi3rG85YaAkUcEALw_wcB

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  32. …who DOESN’T want to start their morning thinking about men having perverted, infectuous, shit-smeared anal sex and taking the opportunity to explain it to the kids reading the cereal box before starting the school day at an institution that will ENCOURAGE them to be gay and trans without your knowledge and consent, said no one ever…

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  36. JG: All right, you useless sales weasels, you all know we’ve got a big untapped market with the faggots and dykes. So whattaya got? Bob? You’re up.

    Bob: Well JG, me and the boys in the bullpen were brainstorming…What is it that homos love more than anything?

    JG: Penis?

    Bob: Right, JG! So we had R&D do some molds… *opens box* that produce these little penis-shaped marshmallows and what we’re calling “Magic chocolate rings.” Try one?

    JG: No thanks, but go on…

    Bob: The art department is working on a mock-up now for the box art. We figure the mascot should be, I don’t know, a fairy or maybe Charles Nelson Reilly if his estate will agree to it. See, we’re going for that retro-campy-kitschy feel, you know? KA-POW! ZINGO! Perverts eat up that obsolete social dreck and detritus as much as they love antique shops. So what do you say, JG?

    JG: I love it, Bob! Okay boys, let’s run with it! Go smear them queers!

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  37. …maybe, just for balance and if they wanted to offer SOME hope that they don’t want their customers to go to hell in a shit-smeared coffin, perhaps they should make some “Bible-O’s for National Day of Prayer and print THIS on the back…

    “22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,

    23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

    24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

    25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.

    26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

    27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

    28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

    29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

    30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

    31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

    32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.”

    -Romans 1:22-32

    …THAT would be a REAL Balanced Breakfast…

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  38. Well, is this good news…maybe, a new cereal. So, not long ago an employee urinated into the cereal vat at the factory …I guess it was the secret ingredient. Now, does an employee still urinate into the product or perhaps another ingredient is added from the same hose.. The management at this company is still making decisions about culture I assume..

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  39. We buy a mix of feed by the ton that has cereal, sunflower seeds and other nuts swept off the floor mixed with corn and protein powder. It’s been going up in price lately and they don’t have as much of it, I guess that’s why instead of selling their trash off the floor for animal consumption they’re going to sell it at regular price for human consumption.

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  41. Me again OCTOBER 19, 2019 AT 9:01 AM
    “…Now, does an employee still urinate into the product or perhaps another ingredient is added from the same hose..”

    …Yeef. Given Tony’s “coming out”, perhaps we need to think a bit HARDER about just what the “frosting” on the “Frosted Flakes” REALLY is…

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  43. …Kelloggs DOES know the primary consumers of their product are KIDS, right?

    …And they DO know that homosexuals can’t HAVE kids, right?

    …Not very forward thinking there, Special K, unless you’re counting on the Chinese market where they don’t put up with THAT shit to come through for you…

    5

  48. @SNS, ” homosexuals can’t HAVE kids, right?”

    Actually, they are entitled to more kids than you including enough special programs that’ll make your head spin in order to pay for them, and come out with a profit.

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