“As you slide down the bannister of life may the splinters all face the correct direction”….
Only 73 more days till the pool opens!
Beannachtaí na Féile Páraic oraibh!
… Pionta Guinness, le do thoil.
May those who love us, love us.
And those who don’t, don’t.
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn’t turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles so
We’ll know them by their limping.
You say you’re Irish?
Funny, you don’t look drunk.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day,
What a great Green Friday I knew it would be.
“At least We have ‘Something in Common, Perhaps’”
Sierra Hotel
He DID it. Media Mental Wires tapped OUT.
msNBC already freaking.
Tonights Chris Matthews will be a flecks and spittle filled spinner.
MAGA
A ligean ar a fháil ar meisce agus múisc stuif glas!
What do you get when you cross a leprechaun and a whore…? A: A little bitty green bugger about 6 inches high.
If it were St. Padrick’s day would we call it St. Patty’s?
Say you are in Houston Texas, the petroleum capital of the world, how do you say the word that’s spelled O-I-L ?
Now, say you are in Kansas, the cattle capital of the world, how do you say the word that’s spelled B-E-E-F?
Now, say you are in Gloucester Massachusetts, the commercial fishing capital of America, how do you say the word that’s spelled H-O-O-K-E-D?
Okay, it’s St Patricks Day March 17th, you’re in Belfast North Ireland and you are standing between a bunch of drunken Catholics & Protestants, how do you say all three words together?
OIL – BEEF – HOOKED
On St Patricks Day, this dude is in a bar drinking green beer. He gets a full bladder and walks into the bathroom. he’s peeing at the horse-trough urinal when a very short, redhaired guy wearing a green leprauchan suit walks in, stacks up a couple beer crates, pulls out a huge tallywhacker and begins to pee. Shocked, the dude asks the short guy “how can you be so short and have such a huge dick?” The short guy answers, “Aye, don’t ye know I’m a leprauchan, now?” The dude asks “hey, isn’t it true you have to give me one wish on St patricks Day?” The short guy says “aye, tis true. But ye have to do one thing fer me first.” The dude asks “what’s that?” The short guy says “ye have to drop yer pantaloons, bend over and I’m goin’ te fook ye up the arse”. The dude says “holy shit, I don’t know if I can handle that. But I want a johnson as big as yours so I’ll do anything to have my wish granted.” So the poor dude is bent over in pain, straining and grunting as he’s getting buggered, when the short guy taps him on the shoulder and says “aren’t ye a wee bit too old to be believin’ in leprauchans, now?”
“Saint Patrick” was never made an actual Saint. “Saint Patrick’s day” is fake news/holiday. Don’t like it? Tough, I’m Scottish.
Once I year I wish I had a dirk but then I realize I’m an American and own more fire arms than the whole Island of Ireland now the IRA is out of business.
My patriarchal grandmother was born in County Cork, if that qualifies.
MJA – Asking a favor – can you make the little face with the hat on bigger? Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
My son was born on St. Patrick’s Day! Happiest St. Pat’s Day ever for me!
Sláinte!
I’m Scots-Irish with German and English on my Mom’s side.
I want a whiskey, but I’m too cheap to buy one.
And I want a stiff Gin Fizz too, but will settle for some beer, if I can drink it out of a glass boot
May God grant you always…
A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
Happy St. Pat’s Day, all !!!
And don’t drink the green beer !!!
Mansfield Lovell, re first joke. Are you suggesting that Catholics and Protestants would drink together in Belfast? Have you ever been to Belfast?
Gallagher got up this morning and read in the local paper obituaries that he had died.
He called his buddy Kelly. “Did you read in the paper that I am dead,”? he shouted excitedly.
“I did indeed,” said Kelly, (pause) “Where are you calling from.?
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day to all of you.
Scots-Irish RULE! LOL
Golfers Prayer to Saint Patrick.
“May our balls land on green pastures, instead of still waters.”
If you don’t drink the the morning, you can’t drink all day 🙂
Happy St Patrick’s Day
With apologies to all of my very dear Irish friends we present Irish Yoga.
Dan R.G. To me, that looks like Russian, Serbian, and Spring Break Yoga. But I could be right!
I think you are correct Moe Tom but on St Patrick’s Day, or as one of my Irish friend calls it, Amateur’s Day, everyone is Irish…..
DAN; You’re right about amateur day. I haven’t been in a bar on Saint Patrick’s in over thirty years. Right now I’m home having a pop or two, and playing IOTW Report. Enjoy.
“As you slide down the bannister of life may the splinters all face the correct direction”….
Only 73 more days till the pool opens!
Beannachtaí na Féile Páraic oraibh!
… Pionta Guinness, le do thoil.
May those who love us, love us.
And those who don’t, don’t.
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn’t turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles so
We’ll know them by their limping.
You say you’re Irish?
Funny, you don’t look drunk.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day,
What a great Green Friday I knew it would be.
“At least We have ‘Something in Common, Perhaps’”
Sierra Hotel
He DID it. Media Mental Wires tapped OUT.
msNBC already freaking.
Tonights Chris Matthews will be a flecks and spittle filled spinner.
MAGA
A ligean ar a fháil ar meisce agus múisc stuif glas!
What do you get when you cross a leprechaun and a whore…? A: A little bitty green bugger about 6 inches high.
If it were St. Padrick’s day would we call it St. Patty’s?
Say you are in Houston Texas, the petroleum capital of the world, how do you say the word that’s spelled O-I-L ?
Now, say you are in Kansas, the cattle capital of the world, how do you say the word that’s spelled B-E-E-F?
Now, say you are in Gloucester Massachusetts, the commercial fishing capital of America, how do you say the word that’s spelled H-O-O-K-E-D?
Okay, it’s St Patricks Day March 17th, you’re in Belfast North Ireland and you are standing between a bunch of drunken Catholics & Protestants, how do you say all three words together?
OIL – BEEF – HOOKED
On St Patricks Day, this dude is in a bar drinking green beer. He gets a full bladder and walks into the bathroom. he’s peeing at the horse-trough urinal when a very short, redhaired guy wearing a green leprauchan suit walks in, stacks up a couple beer crates, pulls out a huge tallywhacker and begins to pee. Shocked, the dude asks the short guy “how can you be so short and have such a huge dick?” The short guy answers, “Aye, don’t ye know I’m a leprauchan, now?” The dude asks “hey, isn’t it true you have to give me one wish on St patricks Day?” The short guy says “aye, tis true. But ye have to do one thing fer me first.” The dude asks “what’s that?” The short guy says “ye have to drop yer pantaloons, bend over and I’m goin’ te fook ye up the arse”. The dude says “holy shit, I don’t know if I can handle that. But I want a johnson as big as yours so I’ll do anything to have my wish granted.” So the poor dude is bent over in pain, straining and grunting as he’s getting buggered, when the short guy taps him on the shoulder and says “aren’t ye a wee bit too old to be believin’ in leprauchans, now?”
“Saint Patrick” was never made an actual Saint. “Saint Patrick’s day” is fake news/holiday. Don’t like it? Tough, I’m Scottish.
Once I year I wish I had a dirk but then I realize I’m an American and own more fire arms than the whole Island of Ireland now the IRA is out of business.
They had a runner in Dublin’s parade today…video
http://www.dailyedge.ie/boxers-paddys-day-parade-3293375-Mar2017/
My patriarchal grandmother was born in County Cork, if that qualifies.
MJA – Asking a favor – can you make the little face with the hat on bigger? Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
My son was born on St. Patrick’s Day! Happiest St. Pat’s Day ever for me!
Sláinte!
I’m Scots-Irish with German and English on my Mom’s side.
I want a whiskey, but I’m too cheap to buy one.
And I want a stiff Gin Fizz too, but will settle for some beer, if I can drink it out of a glass boot
May God grant you always…
A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.
Happy St. Pat’s Day, all !!!
And don’t drink the green beer !!!
Mansfield Lovell, re first joke. Are you suggesting that Catholics and Protestants would drink together in Belfast? Have you ever been to Belfast?
Gallagher got up this morning and read in the local paper obituaries that he had died.
He called his buddy Kelly. “Did you read in the paper that I am dead,”? he shouted excitedly.
“I did indeed,” said Kelly, (pause) “Where are you calling from.?
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day to all of you.
Scots-Irish RULE! LOL
Golfers Prayer to Saint Patrick.
“May our balls land on green pastures, instead of still waters.”
If you don’t drink the the morning, you can’t drink all day 🙂
Happy St Patrick’s Day
With apologies to all of my very dear Irish friends we present Irish Yoga.
http://nedhardy.com/2010/09/16/27-pictures-to-introduce-you-to-the-subtle-art-of-irish-yoga/
Dan R.G. To me, that looks like Russian, Serbian, and Spring Break Yoga. But I could be right!
I think you are correct Moe Tom but on St Patrick’s Day, or as one of my Irish friend calls it, Amateur’s Day, everyone is Irish…..
DAN; You’re right about amateur day. I haven’t been in a bar on Saint Patrick’s in over thirty years. Right now I’m home having a pop or two, and playing IOTW Report. Enjoy.