Man won’t descend tall Seattle tree, despite police coaxing.
MSN- SEATTLE — Despite hours of police coaxing, a man remained near the top of an 80-foot tall sequoia tree in downtown Seattle early Wednesday, refusing to come down.
Authorities were alerted to an unidentified man in the tree around 11 a.m. Tuesday and he was still clinging to its branches at 2:30 a.m. PDT Wednesday, more than 15 hours later.
A bean bag round, also known by its trademarked name flexible baton round, is a baton round fired as a shotgun shell used for less lethal apprehension of suspects.
Gimme a bus load of Cub Scouts with sling shots, we’ll get him outta there.
Two obvious solutions:
1. Scoped rifle
2. Chainsaw
Yukon Cornelius?
Where is the bumble?
Yeah Mr. M, I was going to suggest calling in the FBI and shooting him down.
The really obvious solution: time. Just don’t be standing blindly underneath him.
….https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kico0_ENOXo….
The homeless are revered in Seattle. They do everything they can to make life cushy for them & basically let them run roughshod over the city. They are allowed to pitch tents or camp anywhere they please & you go to jail if you do anything to stop them.
Make a ring of gasoline at the base of the tree. . . light it on fire.
He’ll down one way or another.
Fuck him!
Let him stay up there … in fact, forbid him from descending!
izlamo delenda est …
When he gets hungry he will come down.
Works with cats.
What’s the fuss and worry? He’s a free (enough) citizen. Let him stay up there. If he falls and (hurts/kills) himself, that’s on him, not the city of Seattle. Pffft. Ignore him. He’s just another attention whore, looking for his 15 minutes.
Dart him and try to catch him in a net so he can miss the net and bounce three feet in vertical height and make the Shepherd Smith show with all the bears
@JohnS – I once called the fire dept in the little town I lived in and asked them if they would come and get my kitten out of a tree. The guy said no, and then asked me if I’d ever seen a cat skeleton hanging from a tree.
It’s a tree safety issue. Time to ban all trees in Seattle.
Wow. Maybe ya’ll aren’t just a bunch of racists, maybe you’re just a bunch of hate-filled jerks. It’s a dude in a tree, why does that bother you so much? You don’t know what he wants or believes, he could be mentally incapacitated or straight up crazy.
“Cut the tree down!” “No, set it on fire!” “No, shoot him with a high powered rifle!” It’s a dude in a tree. What has this guy done that warrants you cheering for him to be severely injured or dead?
@James, because he is an idiot wasting my time.
@James Webb, and all snowflakes out there, you know who you are:
Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy, how many times do I hafta tell you IOTWreport is a funny, sarcastic, over the top humor site that sometimes breaks out in political WWF, cage fighting, arm wrestling, and vile language.
Don’t take it personally. None of us are going to run out and shoot the poor guy, he is already safely out of the tree.
But, if you ask me, a taser would have taken him out PDQ.
😉
Aww .. don’t feed the trolls!
James,
He is an attractive nuisance to the neighborhood, he is a danger to himself and anybody beneath the tree.
He’s an idiot and deserves to be made fun of.
As long as that’s OK w/ you
It’s Seattle. The dumb son-of-a-bitch’s are claiming he identifies as a Christmas tree ornament. Can’t have anything that might in any way be linked to Christianity hanging about in a public tree. If he had told them he was a Winter Festival ornament, or an Oscar Meyer Wiener, there wouldn’t be any issue.
RELEASE THE SQUIRRELS!!!
.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKsw0OfPINU.
Just sayin. LOL
Put a bunch of pond dogs under the tree and yell scurrile.
Put one of those squirrels protectors around the tree, and make it really really big so he can’t climb down. He’ll die of starvation and fall off. Done. Too cruel? I don’t give a crap.
Time to deploy Lazlo Industries ‘Chiggers in a Can’
Each can is guaranteed to have at least one hundred thousand live chiggers
The cans fit most standard tear gas/grenade launchers.
Or you could have a drone squirt cheeze whiz on him and let the eagles drive him out.
Or just play the Eagles, that will work, too.
If just leaving him the hell alone won’t do and you simply MUST DO SOMETHING – put a couple of blunts and a Bic at the base of the tree and then just walk away.
James Webb: If you haven’t figured it out by now, this is a satire site. Calm down. Listen to Uncle Al’s advice and take advantage of your blunt options. Leave the loon in the tree alone. Nature will take it’s course. Maybe the guy thinks he’s an owl. Who cares?
Why should law enforcement or anyone else waste their time trying to get this hippie down?
He is mentally ill and confused. He was told to vote for Obama and his life would improve.
You know….lots of free stuff.
Now he is up a tree
Let him starve up there.
http://gawker.com/twelve-hours-later-seattle-man-in-tree-still-very-much-1766574059
In the immortal words of Andrew Breitbart: So?
Maple syrup and fire ants.
fuckin’ Wookie, close kin to Bigfoot.
This Libtard is literally a Tree Hugger. Chop the tree down with him still in it to put us out of our misery.
…and James Webb, FUCK YOU, you Concern Troll.