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How to enforce ‘Social Distance’
26 Comments on How to enforce ‘Social Distance’
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Just made a double batch of bean and bacon soup the other day. Took some to a couple neighbors and froze quite a bit. Watching neighbors houses for open windows.😉
Throw some broccoli or cabbage in there as well…for extra affect and effectiveness…
…that has exactly 239 beans in it…
…Because one more bean, and it would be “too farty”..
(HT Leisure Suit Larry, “Love For Sail”)
needs asparagus for marking your property….
Snortfest! But maybe not. Too funny.
Pro-Tip: Add a little extra potency and pickle those eggs.
The musical fruit rescues the republic again!
Don’t fail to have a beverage… a quart of beer will really enhance your results.
Just don’t feed it to a dog cuz you might end up clearing out the whole house.
Toot toot, comin’ through!
According to some reports, people suffering from Covid 19 lose their sense of smell. Even if they are not showing symptoms they lose their sense of smell and taste. So cut a fart periodically to test your love one’s sense of smell.
Had a guy that worked for me years ago that would eat a half dozen boiled eggs & a can of beans or sardines every day. Couldn’t be within 50 yrds of him without a self contained breathing apparatus.
Was his nickname Stinky or Mr. Fartz.
Give me a Michelob to wash it down and I could clear the whole building.
…bear in mind, though, that it may make you a MAGNET to Buttgieg voters…
Garlic Soup anyone?
So did Paul Newman ever cut an enormous jail breaking fart when he ate 50 hard boiled eggs in Cool Hand Luke? Nah, that would’ve been Blazing Saddles and they would’ve blown Rock Ridge to smithereens and Slim Pickens to boot.
More beans, Mr. Taggart?
I use a large caliber weapon…..
Had no tp so I just shat my pants. That should keep em at bay.
“Easy! Make everyone wear a beanie with a 6 foot propeller on it, man!”
Chile verde with rice and refried beans deserves honorable mention.
Along with any version of what the ladies on Cook’s Country called, “gossip beans”, because they talk behind your back.
Or Drunken Beans (Frijoles Borrachos) basically: pinto beans simmered in dark Mexican beer, bacon, onions, with a handful of seasonings, topped with cilantro.
“More beans, Mr. Taggart?”
I’d say you had just about enough!
*waves hat*
That is some funny shit right there Doc, stinky pun intended. 💩
Speaking of beans. Fearless Fosdick and “The Case of the Poisoned Beans”
Wherein for the first time in history a nation of mostly healthy people are under house arrest by government power.
https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2020/03/government_force_and_poisoned_beans.html .
This has been working for my boss for 14 yrs. I can attest to its efficacy.