I See a Couple of Differences – IOTW Report

I See a Couple of Differences

ht/ woody

52 Comments on I See a Couple of Differences

  1. Like the waitress that asks “how’s everything?” just you take a bite, I can see her popping in right in the middle of the action to ask “how’s everything?”

    21
  2. jellybean
    SUNDAY, 14 APRIL 2024, 13:30 AT 1:30 PM
    “Couldn’t he as least buy her a life-size dildo in exchange?”

    …he couldn’t get one that matched him because the ones SHE wanted only came in Black…

    10
  3. I can see it now – Not tonight honey, I’ve got to update my software. Again? you just updated it last week! I think something’s going on with the Roomba.

    11
  4. (Darkness, 2 AM. Sounds of sleeping, then…)

    *squeakey!
    (WIFE wakes up, looks around confused, shrugs and lays back down).

    *squueekeeeey!

    (WIFE sits up again, shakes her head) Honey, did you hear that?

    HUSBAND: No, honey. Go back to bed, it was nothing.

    (WIFE lays down again)

    *squee….k….eeee

    (WIFE sits up, angry now) HAVE YOU GOT THAT DOLL OUT AGAIN?!?

    HUSBAND: mayyyybeee

    *s q uee k!

    WIFE: STOP MASTURBATING WHEN IM TALKING TO YOU! YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE IT ANYWAY! IM RIGHT HERE!!!

    HUSBAND: I know.
    *squeeky squeeky!

    WIFE: That’s IT! I’M TAKING THE SCISSORS TO THAT THING!
    HUSBAND: *Squeeky SQUEEky SQUEEKY SQUEEKSQUESQUEEE Ahhhhh!
    OK, honey, I was bad. I just had to finish to say goodby. You can take the scissors to the doll now.

    WIFE:
    I SAID IM TAKING THE SCISSORS TO IT!
    I DID NOT MEAN
    THE DOLLLLLL!!!!!!

    10
  5. LOL! Brad. Yeah, that guy won’t have to worry about being nagged,
    butt if the wife and a male partner join in he might be nagged, gagged and bagged.
    Barf! I feel queasy just guessing these freaks preferences.

    2
  6. BFH
    SUNDAY, 14 APRIL 2024, 12:17 AT 12:17 PM
    “For the husband that loves his wife’s busty little sister.”

    “My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

    One day her little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome and didn’t really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me.” I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family”.

    The moral of this story is:

    Always keep your condoms in your car.”

    https://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/always-keep-your-condoms-in-your-car/81043135/

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