I Want To Thank Everyone For Sending Me Their Well Wishes – IOTW Report

I Want To Thank Everyone For Sending Me Their Well Wishes

Wednesday, 5 October 2016, 15:42 BFH Uncategorized 92

It really is special to see email after email of people, that really only know me as the “character” BFH, wishing that I “stay safe” as this category 4 hurricane heads directly for the spot I am currently sitting.

I think the weather channel put up a graphic with concentric circles, the center being BFH, of where they expect the hurricane to inexplicably hover for hour after excruciating hour, while I pee myself.

I have a contingency plan, in case you’re wondering.

I’m going to lay on my bed like the old people in Titanic, in the fetal position.

I just hope the power and the internet stays on. I want to be able to “panic blog,” or plog, in real time. It’s always been my dream. Just like Brian Williams.

Not to start any conspiracy theories, but if my writing changes, or my paintings and photoshops look a bit off after Thursday morning, I will have died, taking a palm frond to the neck at 90 mph, and somebody else will be impersonating me. Just so you know.

 

 

92 Comments on I Want To Thank Everyone For Sending Me Their Well Wishes

  1. “He will command his angels concerning BigFurHat. To guard him in all his rascally ways…”

    Psalm 91:11

    Will I get in trouble for changing God’s Word? My heart is in the right place. 🙂

  3. I lived in Fort Myers and when they said a big one was coming I went to the airport and got on a plane and left. The problem is it could be a month till they get to your area to help you.
    The people around you could come to your area and take everything you have.
    You can’t shoot 50 people.

    Hop in your car drive north now. Don’t wait.

  10. Spent most of last week in North Carolina. Have good friends right on the intercoastal waterway across from Emerald Island. They’re usually prepared as they have weathered a few hurricanes over the past 25 years. I spent some time designing a water diversion project for a friend in Fayetteville as he has a flooding problem. I hope he has time to complete it before Matthew hits; especially since my daughter is staying with them until she buys a house (she left the Army two weeks ago and will be working at Bragg). NC has already declared a state of emergency.

    Big Fur – keep us informed and stay dry. If you can’t stay dry, stay buoyant.

  11. My sister went thru a huge hurricane she was fine and her house was sort of OK.
    She couldn’t take a shower for 3 weeks and she ran out of purell in 2 weeks.
    She now heads north if it rains hard.

  13. Don’t think of it as a Hurricane. Try and think of it as a big blow job. Hopefully it scrubs off some energy before arrives. Good luck. Keep a couple spare mags ready for looters.

  19. Port St Lucie, FLPlaces
    Hurricane – Warning from 10/5/2016 2:00:00 PM to 10/5/2016 5:00:00 PM
    Hurricane Warning issued October 05 at 2:00PM EDT until further notice by NWS NWS National Hurricane Center
    Coastal Broward County; Coastal Palm Beach County; Coastal Volusia County; Indian River; Martin; Northern Brevard County; Southern Brevard County; St. Lucie
    .HURRICANE MATTHEW
    GOLDEN-BEACH-FL 25.97N 80.13W
    FLAGLER-VOLUSIA-COUNTY-LINE-FL 29.43N 81.11W

  23. Might be a good time to send out notices about that big Hillary rally in a low-lying field in Florida.

    Free shit for everyone who attends.

    PS – Don’t step on downed power lines.

  27. Uh, what is the worst thing that could happen due to weather in Yonkers? Like maybe your camaro got mangled by a snow plow? Or you had to sleep over at your cousins house while your parents or theirs were getting a divorce. No big thing eh? and sometimes it’s the only chance you get with that cute cousin before she is married. You lived through that right?

  29. I just looked at a map, holy crap you have a bullseye on you. Be careful. I have a friend that had to cut a hole thru his roof to escape the storm surge. Don’t go into your attic without a saw.

  44. Hey Menderman–hunker down there m’boy and we’ll say a prayer! And I hope it doesn’t take aim at me on Long Island and screw up my planned trip to Ocala next weekend for a wedding!

  46. Nahum 1:7
    “The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and He knows those who trust in Him.”

    Psalm 91:11
    For He will give His angels charge concerning you, To guard you in all your ways.

    Larry, bless his heart. The feral little boy chewed through his restraints again.

  47. I know they’re probably sold out of ice there, but if you’re able to, freeze as much potable water as you can in plastic containers before you lose electricity. You can’t have too much ice after a storm when the power is going to be out for a while. And if it is, consider cooking up as much freezer stuff as you can consume or share with neighbors, because you’re going to lose it anyway (hopefully you have gas stoves and not electric).

    I’ve been through a few of these, and they’re no picnic, but I think you’ll find the aftermath and the cleanup to be a lot worse than the storm itself. It only lasts a few hours at most.

    Hang in there, and try not to worry. You’ll be O.K.

    🙂

  54. Dear Abba we pray this prayer for those who are facing this storm called Matthew.

    † Prayer or Blessing Against Storms †

    Please make the Sign of the Cross where the crosses are in the prayer.

    Jesus Christ a King of Glory has come in Peace. † God became man, † and the Word was made flesh. † Christ was born of a Virgin. † Christ suffered. † Christ was crucified. † Christ died. † Christ rose from the dead. † Christ ascended into Heaven. † Christ conquers. † Christ reigns. † Christ orders. † May Christ protect us from all storms and lightning † Christ went through their midst in Peace, † and the Word was made Flesh. † Christ is with us with Mary. † Flee you enemy spirits because the Lion of the Generation of Judah, the Root David, has won. † Holy God! † Holy Powerful God! † Holy Immortal God! † Have mercy on us. Amen

    http://www.alwayscatholic.com/?page_id=3044

  56. If your in a flooded area soon, take the first boat that comes your way.

    The Flood Story

    A flood threatens a town, forcing everyone to evacuate, But Joe thinks,
    “I’m a devout man, God will save me,” and stays
    put. As the waters rise, Joe’s neighbor comes by and says, “Joe come with me, we’ve got to go.” Joe declines,
    “I’m a devout man, God will save me.”

    The waters keep rising, Joe scrambles to his second floor. A firefighter in a rowboat comes by. “Get in the boat or you’ll drown,” he says. Joe again declines, saying,
    “God will save me. So this flood story goes.”

    Flood

    Finally, the flood waters force Joe to his roof. A police helicopter comes by and throws down a rope. “Climb up or you’ll drown,” the policeman yells. “No, I’m a devout man,
    God will save me,” Joe replies.

    Soon, Joe drowns.
    He arrives in heaven and challenges God.
    “Why didn’t you help me?”

    “What do you mean?” God says.

    “I did help. I sent a neighbor, a firefighter and a helicopter

  57. @ God can only help so much

    Hey, never Trumpers, this story could be altered slightly with the neighbor being Trump, the firefighter being Rudy Giuliani, etc. and the flood waters being Helliar.

  64. Hi Big Fur!
    I still cherish my Molon Labe tote bag you made that I just pulled my Colt out of. Since here in Hilton Head Island/Bluffton, SC I’m just not going to suffer any lootin’ Canadians. (Mr. Deplorable Conduct is heading to VA for an already planned visit so he gave me plenty of ammo.)
    The town head of HR lives down the street and even though there are MANDATORY evacuations, she’s not going anywhere – they want her at work! Up here on the bluff we are 26 feet above sea level and have a natural nautical shelf around the island that usually pushes hurricanes up to poor Charleston, so we’ll see. They are pushing everyone out of town today even though we won’t see anything until Saturday – WTF? Nikki Haley??

    There hasn’t been landfall here in 100 years, but anything is possible with the devil-in-chief in office… If possible stay inebriated!

  66. Fur, Make sure you take some voter registration forms with you to the shelter they evac you to. And be sure to ask everyone if they are registered and tell them to vote Trump.

  68. Take care of yourself BFH! Duck and cover!

    I lived in Florida (Tampa) for a year. I moved from Seattle. Things are different there. Grocery bags had hurricane emergency info on them. Hmm. Then, hurricane escape route road signs. Uh oh. The purple, pink, salmon and teal flocked christmas trees were scarier! 😉 Seriously- be safe!!!

  71. Oy Fur, an Outer Banker here that lives under the perpetual Wunderground eye of their tracking maps. Our prayers and thoughts are with you as you and yours take the first round of this POS we were expecting this weekend but will now likely get the sloppy seconds of next week after it’s torn all of you up down there.
    If it’s any consolation, stay safe and wait for us – we’ve got a pretty good track record of loving on others who get done in by this sort of thing.
    Now Charlotte on the other hand, why can’t we get a good Cat 4 to skip over us and go directly inland to flush that and every other cesspit before the election?

  74. Start planning what iotwreport BFH items you are going to wear the day after when the national news crews show up on your street.
    Plan some fancy repartee, I suggest having a golf club on your shoulder and ask them if they saw your ball. Then say there it is under that ruble and try to make the green as you yell four.

  75. “…but if my writing changes, or my paintings and photoshops look a bit off after Thursday morning, I will have died, taking a palm frond to the neck at 90 mph…”.

    Well, GEEZ. At least make it someting CLASSY, like a Cuban Royal,
    not some flaky Sabal Palmetto!

    NOT bugging out, eh?!?
    You must have one of those “James Bond Escape Pods”.
    GOOD LUCK, “Fur. Big Fur.”

  78. And now for the royal bite on the ass: It is possible, not necessarily probably but entirely possible, for Matthew to hit Florida TWICE.

    See NOAA’s interactive forecast path cone here.

    I’m on the Gulf coast, Sarasota County, and things are not looking bad for us. But if that Matt bastard does a u-ey and heads back across the state, we over here might be in for a bit of a blow.

  80. Palm frond through the neck simply will not do.

    What I envision is an Escalade, racing to get out of town too late, hitting a speed bump and going airborne as the 130 mph winds get under it, then hitting the billboard over a liquor store, which will then go Frisbee-ing along in the gale until it nears your house with you in bed, fetal position, trying to count how many freight trains there are outside, at which point it will crash edge-first into the lawn outside your window, thus blocking the wind and protecting you and your house and belongings so that your will be the only residence standing when things calm down. And then you will dine and drink free off this story for the rest of your life.

  82. The safest place in Port st. Lucie right now is the nuke plant. I do wish all in the area the best, but you’ve had a week to get ready. Ask Dorothy and Toto what a tornado can do. An F4 or 5 can obliterate an area with little warning, compared. The weather channel has been orgasmic about this storm.

  83. Safety first, BFH. Find high ground ASAP. The creator of iOTWR – the best snarkiest, common sense conservative, political blog on the internet is too valuable to lose. God protect you and keep you. Thanks for keeping us updated.

  85. You’ll need a firearm if you’re staying.

    Police will be busy. Opportunists will spring up.

    Wondering if anyone if FL ever thought of building a geodesic dome home the wind can’t catch an edge on or vacuum off the Earth.

    Give it hell, Fur. We’re pulling for ya.

  88. Hey Fur Stay safe. Remember you have some old Sufferners down there with you.
    Kenny Smith, Marty Bohen, Chris Schepard, Jim Matthews, John Blackley, John McCoy, and others in the area. I’m saying a prayer for you all.

  90. Stay safe BFH and others in the path. I have your town dialed in on my weather program. This is what they are saying:

    Warning Description: Hurricane Statement

    Warning Date: 11:16 PM EDT on October 5, 2016

    Warning Message:

    This product covers east central Florida
    …Major Hurricane Matthew expected to pass very near or over
    the east central Florida coast Thursday night into Friday…
    New information
    —————
    * changes to watches and warnings:
    – none
    * current watches and warnings:
    – a Hurricane Warning remains in effect for inland Volusia
    County…Orange…Seminole…southern Brevard
    County…Osceola…Indian River…Okeechobee…St.
    Lucie…Martin…coastal Volusia County and northern Brevard
    County
    – a Tropical Storm Warning remains in effect for Northern Lake
    County…Southern Lake County
    * storm information:
    – about 430 miles southeast of Cape Canaveral FL or about 380
    miles southeast of Fort Pierce FL
    – 23.4n 76.4w
    – storm intensity 115 mph
    – movement northwest or 320 degrees at 10 mph
    Situation overview
    ——————
    Major Hurricane Matthew is currently moving northwestward over
    the central Bahamas and is forecast to move very near and over the
    east central coast of Florida Thursday night through Friday.
    This is a extremely dangerous and potentially life-threatening
    situation! There is high confidence that the center of major
    Hurricane Matthew will move along or over portions of the east
    central Florida coastline early Friday morning into the afternoon
    hours. This would bring the core of Matthew’s wind, surge and rain
    across the coastal counties of east central Florida, producing
    widespread extensive to devastating wind impacts to these areas.
    Inland, the threat is high for hurricane force winds with a high
    threat for strong tropical storm force winds farther inland over
    Lake County.
    With an expected track closer to the coast, the potential for
    life threatening storm surge flooding is high. Storm surge
    flooding of 5 to 7 feet is expected along the barrier islands of
    Volusia and Brevard counties, with 3 to 5 feet of inundation
    expected over Martin and Saint Lucie counties.
    Large breaking waves along area beaches are forecast to peak
    between 12 to 18 feet and produce rough, pounding surf resulting
    in a significant hazard of coastal flooding from dune breaching,
    along with very severe beach and dune erosion.
    Significant downwind piling and surging of water will occur
    within the Intracoastal Waterway, lagoons, and inlets. Given the
    anticipated close approach of Matthew’s eye to the east central
    Florida coast, properties facing both east, and eventually west,
    along the Intracoastal Waterway will be susceptible to this wind
    driven piling of water. Additionally, wind driven piling of water
    will be possible along the banks of the Saint Johns River in lake
    and Volusia counties.
    Heavy rain, especially in squalls, will increase in coverage and
    frequency across east central Florida Thursday into Friday.
    Widespread rainfall totals of 5 to 8 inches are expected with
    locally higher amounts, especially along the coast. Saturated
    soils in many areas from heavy September and early October
    rainfall will hold very little additional water before water
    quickly begins to pond, especially in low lying and urban areas.
    Standing water will be capable of quickly rising, especially in
    flood prone areas, and could enter homes and businesses during
    Matthew’s passage.
    Residents and visitors to east central Florida are strongly encouraged
    to monitor the latest track and intensity forecasts from the National
    Hurricane Center.
    Potential impacts
    —————–
    * wind:
    protect against life-threatening wind having possible devastating
    impacts across coastal areas of east central Florida. Potential
    impacts in this area include:
    – structural damage to sturdy buildings, some with complete roof
    and wall failures. Complete destruction of Mobile homes. Damage
    greatly accentuated by large airborne projectiles. Locations
    may be uninhabitable for weeks or months.
    – Numerous large trees snapped or uprooted along with fences and
    roadway signs blown over.
    – Many roads impassable from large debris, and more within urban
    or heavily wooded places. Many bridges, causeways, and access
    routes impassable.
    – Widespread power and communications outages.
    Also, protect against life-threatening wind having possible extensive
    impacts across inland areas.
    * Surge:
    protect against life-threatening surge having possible extensive
    impacts across the barrier islands of east central Florida. Potential
    impacts in this area include:
    – large areas of deep inundation with storm surge flooding
    accentuated by battering waves. Structural damage to buildings,
    with several washing away. Damage compounded by floating
    debris. Locations may be uninhabitable for an extended period.
    – Large sections of near-shore escape routes and secondary roads
    may be washed out or severely flooded. Flood control systems
    and barriers may become stressed.
    – Severe beach erosion with significant dune loss.
    – Major damage to marinas, docks, boardwalks, piers, and other
    coastal structures. Many small craft broken away from moorings,
    especially in unprotected anchorages with some lifted onshore
    and stranded.
    Significant downwind piling and surging of water will occur
    within the Intracoastal Waterway, lagoons, and inlets.
    * Flooding rain:
    protect against dangerous rainfall flooding having possible
    significant impacts across east central Florida. Potential
    impacts include:
    – moderate rainfall flooding may prompt several evacuations and
    rescues.
    – Rivers and tributaries may quickly become swollen with swift
    currents and overspill their banks in a few places, especially
    in usually vulnerable spots. Small streams, creeks, canals, and
    ditches will overflow.
    – Flood waters can enter some structures or weaken foundations.
    Several places may experience expanded areas of rapid
    inundation at underpasses, low-lying spots, and poor drainage
    areas. Some streets and parking lots take on moving water as
    storm drains and retention ponds overflow. Driving conditions
    will become hazardous with some Road and bridge closures.
    * Tornadoes:
    protect against a dangerous tornado event having possible significant
    impacts across east central Florida. Potential impacts
    include:
    – the occurrence of isolated to scattered tornadoes can hinder
    the execution of emergency plans during tropical events.
    – Several places may experience tornado damage with a few
    locations seeing considerable damage, power loss, and
    communications failures.
    – Locations could realize roofs torn off frame houses, Mobile
    homes demolished, boxcars overturned, large trees snapped or
    uprooted, vehicles tumbled, and small boats tossed about.
    Dangerous projectiles can add to the toll.
    Precautionary/preparedness actions
    ———————————-
    now is the time to complete all preparations to protect life and
    property in accordance with your emergency plan.
    Outside preparations should be wrapped up as soon as possible before
    weather conditions deteriorate. Any remaining evacuations and
    relocations should be completed before the onset of tropical storm
    force winds.
    If evacuating the area, stick to prescribed
    evacuation routes. Look for additional traffic information on roadway
    smart signs and listen to select radio channels for further travel
    instructions. Drivers should not use cell phones while operating
    vehicles.
    Closely monitor NOAA Weather Radio or other local news outlets for
    official storm information. Be ready to adapt to possible changes to
    the forecast.
    * Additional sources of information:
    – for information on appropriate preparations see ready.Gov
    – for information on creating an emergency plan see getagameplan.Org
    – for additional disaster preparedness information see Redcross.Org

    It doesn’t sound good. Please stay safe even if you have to temporarily move in with one of us. I’m sure there are many here who would take you in, myself included.

    Prayers for all of you in the path of this monster.

  91. Mighty bold of you Sir Hat to stay put. I pray your able to sleep when needed and safe from all predators that might come your way. I had a friend who left FL for AL and then ended up getting hit in AL. You never can tell.

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