I was unaware there was a “stool scale” – yes, there are ratings for your stools – IOTW Report

I was unaware there was a “stool scale” – yes, there are ratings for your stools

Thursday, 9 April 2020, 22:06 BFH Uncategorized 41

RCS-

A team of researchers primarily based out of Stanford University has engineered a proof-of-concept smart toilet module designed to monitor a user’s health based on their urine and stools.

The system mounts on a conventional sit-down toilet and utilizes cameras to measure the user’s feces based on the Bristol stool scale. 

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BFH here.

Okay, I’m gonna interrupt because I had no idea there was such a scale.

  • Type 1: Separate hard lumps, like nuts (hard to pass)
  • Type 2: Sausage-shaped, but lumpy
  • Type 3: Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface
  • Type 4: Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft
  • Type 5: Soft blobs with clear cut edges (easy to pass)
  • Type 6: Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool
  • Type 7: Watery, no solid pieces, entirely liquid

And now I’m a bit concerned because I think the scale is missing some types.

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At the same time, a pressure sensor built in to the toilet seat monitors the bowel movement’s duration. Both of these measures can reveal conditions like chronic constipation, irritable bowel system, and even colon cancer.

Users who stand to urinate

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Okay, I’m back. Just wanted to process that a bit…

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can also have their velocity, flow, and duration measured by camera, while test strips automatically extend into the stream for urinalysis, which can ascertain a variety of chemical levels and test for numerous substances.

Upon completion of defecation or urination, the system uploads all of the user’s results to a protected cloud. Individual users are identified via a fingerprint scanner embedded in the flush lever as well as by “analprint” (yes, the researchers called it an analprint). A camera on the toilet module images the user’s anus, allowing an algorit

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Okay, I’m out.

ht/ Cynic (Bullpen)

41 Comments on I was unaware there was a “stool scale” – yes, there are ratings for your stools

  3. didn’t see: toddler turd after eating a bag full of Snickers

    … & I’m a bit confused about ‘sausage shaped’ … what? a link? a patty? a roll? a kielbasa?

    11

  5. There will NOT be anything like that in my house. I bet the damn thing has a WiFi connection to your insurance company and you doctor. If it tells you to go to the doctor, and you don’t, you lose your insurance.

    15

  6. Upon completion of defecation or urination, the system uploads all of the user’s results to a protected cloud.

    I sure hope the writer meant that all of the images and data are uploaded. Otherwise, I want to be sure to be upwind of that cloud.

    11

  14. That descriptive stuff reminds me of what a doc told me some years ago about the quick-n-easy diagnosis of a particular thyroid (I think it was thyroid) condition. He called it the 8-F symptom set: Fat Forty-ish Flatulent Female, with Frequent Frothy Foul-smelling Feces.

    I wonder this iCrapper™ has a stink analyzer, and if there’s a scale for that named after, oh, I dunno, Adam Schiff.

    11

  16. The camera taking gorgeous pictures of my unbleached elastic starfish would have to have a wide angle lens. You have no idea how the wide the girth on my Petey B expands when that HIV tainted blood of his starts rushing like Niagra Falls!

    3

  17. another category: baby britches yellow mustard

    … & why the hell am I thinking up different types of poop at 10:30 PM?

    Fur! … you bastard!!!! …… (I keed 😉 )

    10

  21. I would like to convince them they are missing a few crucial parameters: density and pliability.
    IOW, their testing must necessary include rolling feces into balls and tossing them to each other.

    I can guarantee they will have NO grad students signing up to work in their labs.

    They are proving once again, that there are none so stupid as the overeducated.

    7

  28. Many years ago, after my first niece was born, I was visiting. I was sitting in the living room with my sister-in-law. She was talking on the phone to someone (not sure who) and was talking about the hardness and color of what my niece was producing. Quite eye-opening and bizarre.

    4

  31. How does one measure “kerplunk”? When it drops like a marble?

    Or when it goes great, but goes up the great bowl, and after all that work? Where’d it go?

    More like a phantom dump.

    3

  34. Ok, the sheer number of replies indicates a deep Freudian obsession with the scatological, or perhaps more likely we are all still 5 year old boys on the playground trading fart jokes…

    Ok I’m in:

    Why is a fart less dangerous than Hillezibub?

    A fart contains less sulfur…,

    4

  35. I have a dirty, old, torn up Craftsman shop chair that I still use.
    When a buddy of mine first saw it he said:
    “That stool looks like shit!”
    We still chuckle about that to this day.

    5

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