iOTW Nomination for the Greatest Crap Movie – IOTW Report

iOTW Nomination for the Greatest Crap Movie

Nominate some more in the comments.

But, beware, it’ll be tough to beat this one.

84 Comments on iOTW Nomination for the Greatest Crap Movie

  1. I nominate Pearl Harbor (2001) with high-vacuum suck performances by Ben Affleck, Kate Beckinsale, Josh Hartnett, Cuba Gooding Jr., Tom Sizemore, Jon Voight, Colm Feore, and Alec Baldwin

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  2. I have not been inside a movie theatre in IDK when!
    Used to go in the 2000’s with my kids to Disney, Jurasic Park
    or was that the 90’s! Rosie Grier used to/does do needlepoint and designer kits had his picture on them at craft stores.

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  3. 3. Zardoz 1974 Sean Connery in a bikini and black thigh high boots.
    2. Rats: Night of Terror 1984 Post apocalypse biker gang attacked by rats . spoiler the survivors rescued by humanoid rats.
    1. Battlefield Earth 2000 Everything. Just Everything.

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  4. If it’s an American International movie you know that it’s drive in crap. I second Zardoz, that movie sucked, it was the worst Sean Connery movie ever. I never saw Battlefield Earth, but it was the only book that I ever read that I quit reading after the first page. Kilgore Trout, Kurt Vonnegut’s alter ego wrote better science fiction than L. Ron Hubbard.

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  5. Tony R, the killer rabbit movie was The Night Of The Lepus from 1964 with Rory Calhoun, Stuart Whitman and DeForrest Kelly. A bunch of bloodthirsty killer rabbits that get electrocuted by connecting electric powerlines connected to railroad tracks. ZAP, fried killer bunnies. It’s a real stinkeroo that I saw on TCM once.

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  6. Thanks Fur! Ive never even heard of this before, but now i have to see it! I was thinking Robin Williams “Popeye” was cheese or “Cap’n Ron”, but this is next level crap!!!

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  7. The Truman Show, I hated that movie as well as The World According To Garp, the most depressing piece of overrated crap movie that I ever watched. And don’t even ask me why I went and saw Valley Of The Dolls which I saw with a friend who got into big trouble his very strict Catholic dad after watching that. And Deliverance, I should’ve walked out after the bend and over and squeal like a pig scene.

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  8. Bachelor Party starring Tom Hanks. I get gross over the top 80’s movie line Porky’s etc…this one I walked out on…during a date way back when (before Mr Illustr8r).

    And, City of Angels starting Meg Ryan and Nick Cage. The ending. I absolutely hated the effin’ ending. I will never ever watch this movie even in passing on any channel. Ever.

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  9. “Actually, 1976 stink a roo: A STAR IS BORN. STRIESAND & KRISTOFFERSON. Horrid, horrid.”

    OK, open the thread back up, because that right there is a contender. Mainly do to casting. If you get my drift.

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  10. I forgot I walked out on Barbarella with the despicable Jane Fonda. 1974 I think. Maybe it was the number of Black Russians I consumed before I was cut off. (vodka and coffee liqueur)

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  11. There was an incredibly bad film titled “Rabbit Test” about the first pregnant man. It was a Joan Rivers project. As far as I know, that kept her from having anymore projects.

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  12. Why every time there is a comment thread about movies or TV shows someone always gets on and just to say they don’t watch them like it is a badge of honor. No one cares.

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  13. Ignoring all movies that I wouldn’t even try watching because I know they’re crap by the very nature of their marketing, e.g. Mamma Mia (for cat ladies and fags), there are movies that should’ve been good but were absolute garbage because of either the directing or the writing.

    For that category, I nominate Hudson Hawk, which should’ve been a hit because was basically unwatchable. I had shut it down 30 minutes in. It was like the entire production team for that film was on a massive cocaine binge. Someone should’ve shut it down before it ever reached the theaters. It’s lucky for Willis his career survived that shit.

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  14. Yup 10:55 and 11:02, that’s the one. The promo clip you posted is exactly the same as wasting 90 mins. watching movie. I do recall that the truck’s air horn had more lines than any of the actors.

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  15. @Angus: you are thinking of “Duel,” which is notable for being Spielberg’s directorial debut.

    @Chalupa: I read an interview with Joel Hodges, who created MST 3000. He denied expressly searching for “bad” movies and argued that many of the films were B movies from the 40s, 50s and up to the 60s which were created quickly in order to have sufficient content for the movie theaters. During a large part of that era, television was still not as popular as theatrical releases, and new content was a important.

    I love bad movies, and our group would have bad movie marathons like Godzilla movies or a Russ Meyers film fest. I am still a MSTS 3000 fan, and enjoy watching future film stars (and some current ones at the time) get their start in the B movies MST showcases. These include Richard Kiel (Eegah), Robert Vaughn (Caveman), Peter Graves (Beginning of the End), Joe Don Baker (Mitchell) and Donald Pleasance (The Pumaman).

    Manos Hands of Fate frequently tops the list of bad movies, and the movie was the result of a bet between an insurance salesman and a film writer where the insurance salesman claimed that it wasn’t difficult to write, direct and produce a horror film. A movie was indeed made, but it didn’t become famous until MST used it for an episode and it wasn’t good.

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  16. @Geni & Wyatt – Manos was my first pick but someone beat me to it. Such a breezy surreal feel to that movie – so bad it’s good. “Smoke on the weirdo” the gang did a great job on it. I have a Manos T shirt – I don’t think anyone has commented on it yet ha ha. MST puts me in my happy place. Their latest stuff Cinematic Titanic is good too.

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  17. The Devil’s Rain (1975) with Ernest Borgnine. The movie was horrible and I saw it at the drive-in; the film was so dark you couldn’t make out anything on the screen. Everyone started beeping their horns, it was hilarious. I saw Flesh Gordon at the same drive-in, at least that was sort of campy.

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  18. Chalupa , am jealous that you own a Manos T shirt! I recall Joel’s Manos robe … the One with the FOOTPRINTS revealed as he held his arms open , so majestic !! My favorite Cinema Titanic movie is called the Alien Factor , mainly because the movie was made in Maryland where my now Dear Departed Hippie friend was from.

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  19. Wild Bill, I watched Flesh Gordon at a midnight movie theater in San Diego in 1974. The interstellar flying penis with the Buck Rogers/Flash Gordon cheesy 1930’s sound effects when it was flying in outer space is basically all I remember other than it was a cheap porno flick.

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  20. Don’t forget all those “hero” movies: “Mole Men vs the Son of Hercules” for one.

    Saw one where the slaves were fat – even though they were being worked to death.

    Good stuff – even if bad …

    mortem tyrannis
    izlamo delenda est …

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  21. MST 3K – I loved that show! It was so weird that, one day at work, I was talking about the show and my best buddy there said he was friends of Joel Hodges! They started the show in a small town south of Minneapolis. So cool!

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  22. att; ‘i your name’ ……. I don’t know how you could possibly dislike the English Patient,I haven’t come across another movie so moving and so beautifully filmed . I’d give anything see it again!

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  23. @Geni – Alien Factor is a classic. Such a time capsule of a world that’s gone. Makes me crave a Naugles Macho Combo Burrito and Mexican Salad Cup, with a couple of Tuborg Golds 🙂

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