I’m sorry if I’m disappointing our readers, but I’ve been convinced the planet is warming because of human activity and that we only have a few years to act before we are not be able to reverse this fatal course and survive as a species.
It is THAT SERIOUS.
It is now incumbent on me to help enact change in order to save all of humanity. My particular activism will focus on the industry that is the most planet raping while reaping the least benefit for mankind, and of course I am talking about the moviemaking business.
In light of how precariously close we are to losing this planet, industries that produce a huge carbon footprint, yet are not necessary to our survival, must not be allowed to continue.
Let’s look at what it takes to make a movie.
Let’s assume after someone has driven all over town, spewing carbon, that their project was green-lighted.
A crew is then sent out to fly all around the world looking for the best locales to film the movie. Even after the perfect locations are chosen, often changes have to be made. For instance, if it’s a period movie, vintage cars will be driven into the area just to give it that special authenticity. Entire streets will sometimes be changed to suit the moviemaker’s needs. This requires energy.
Hundreds of pieces of equipment will be trucked in for every scene. Lights, sound, film, wardrobe, water effects, anything that is needed will be sent out ahead of the actors, assistants, publicists, crew, etc.
Once the movie starts rolling the necessary gear is often duplicated and set up at different locales in advance so that there is no delaying the stars of the picture when they show up to shoot. Meanwhile, B-roll and incidental footage is being shot elsewhere by assistant directors, all with their own planet raping entourage.
Sets will be built. Torn down. Discarded.
Food will be trucked in. Set up. Discarded.
People will be driven and flown around, all spewing carbon.
Often overlooked is how often a movie shuts down highways and roads, blocking traffic, making carbon emitting cars and trucks idle unnecessarily, wasting energy.
Once the movie wraps the carbon footprint is only beginning. Often the actors have to be flown in to reshoot a scene, or go to a studio to do voice looping. It’s seemingly endless.
When that phase is complete they are sent out to advertise the movie. They are flown to different cities to do publicity, going to various local TV shows, talk shows or charities, trying to get people to go see their project.
Meanwhile, posters are being printed in every language, duplicate copies of the movie print are being sent out to movie houses all around the world, Merchandise, like hats, tee shirts, toys and trinkets are manufactured and trucked out to all corners of the planet. All of this is done so that millions of people will drive their cars to take a look at their film.
After this stage we enter the DVD making stage, which has a large carbon footprint of its own.
Is this really worth it, considering we are all going to die unless we stop producing unnecessary carbon?
More times than not the movie is not all that good. That makes it doubly ridiculous and infuriating to allow these frivolous endeavors to take place. The upside cannot compete with the downside.
Do we really need to see The Planet of the Apes 11, the fictitious account of a fight for a fictitious planet, when we are fighting for our very existence right here and right now on the actual planet we all live on?
That is why I am proposing that we put a moratorium on moviemaking until science can safely assure us that we are out of the woods.
It’s not like there will be no entertainment. There are thousands of movies that have already been made that the public hasn’t seen. We can watch them while our planet heals.
The moviemaking industry will go along with this idea, I know they will, because I hear them in interviews, I hear them at rallies, and I hear them at the award shows. They know we only have a little time left before it’s the end of the world as we know it.
Making a movie seems silly considering what it does to the planet.
Contact your congressman.
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Additional reading:
See
Mission Impossible star flown by helicopter in order to avoid sh*tting in a port-a-potty.
Five stars!!!!!
BFH where’s your Go Fund Me page? I have $10 billion I would like to donate even though I understand money means nothing to you. You’re all about saving the planet.
next …. rock concerts
As long as this is the first step I’m all for it! TeeVee is the obvious 2nd step. NBA and NFL right after. MLB and Golf could stick around a little longer.
The Onion would pay well for this.
Some of the finest, most subtle satire I’ve read in a good long while.
If the house was on fire would you sit to see the last 10 minutes of Game of Thrones?
I rest my case.
This planet is on fire.
Pull the plug on frivolous entertainment.
Otherwise, I cannot respect any actor that would willingly kill us while they play acted.
So the movie might as well not be made anyway. it would just be a testament to their evil avarice.
And why do those pro bass fishermen have to scream across the lake at 70MPH?
That’s not Michelle Monaghan.
Bravo Mr Hat.
Can you tweet this to Leotardo Dicrapio?
Ask Rosarito Beach Mexico about the mess they left behind when done filming The Titanic, starring DiCaprio.
BFH:
Speaking of congressmen…
@Anonymous: Because, as I’ve been told,
they’re up against the world’s fastest fish.
Movies?… OK…. TV… haven’t watched it in 13 years so ok….MLB, NFL etc… ok…
NOW HEAR THIS!!!! Keep your dirty stinking paws off of my Bluegrass Festivals.
Love it.
I was a 21 year old temporary Pinkerton security guard for the 1978 US Open at cherry Hills Co. First day, parked cars. Second day, pulled tickets at the gate. Third day positioned myself to watch golf, got busted and got transferred….I was handed the keys for the brick potty at 9….NOBODY but the pro’s could use it. I was dutiful. Maybe 2-3 pro’s ever needed me to open “The golden bathroom”….they used the same line of port-a-potty’s as the crowd….Lee Trevino ROCKED the crowd, all for a kindly piss….
Where’s the Cliff Notes version of this tome?
TLDR
Oh Yeah, 4th day final round….Positioned at the 18th clubhouse and watched Andy North win it while I was standing on a chair and influencing the crowd not to riot….That Pinkerton supervisor fucked with me in a good way….
I think bluegrass is safe for the moment…they don’t use 747s to fly their stage sets in along with 50 roadies and 25 stage hands and another 100 or more entourage and hangers-on…and that’s just for one of the acts in a rock show. The bluegrass festivals I’ve been to are more like family reunions, even with Ricky Skaggs. Alot more entertaining (musically) than the Rolling Stones, and a lot more satisfying.
Brilliant! And next we have to shut down the horrible life threatening carbon footprint of Cable News.
Travel. Airfare. Electricity. Lighting. Taxis, Limos and more Limos. Huge salaries. Enormous glass desks. Makeup made of petroleum and rare minerals flown from around the planet.
The horror.
The Sad Part:
I’m in the entertainment industry for one of the biggest outfits. Fur, although a bit tongue in cheek, you only touch on a small part of the waste, inefficiency and resources deployed for making movies, television and other entertainment. You seriously nailed it.
LOLOL!
Oh dude. When I lived in LA (San Fernando valley) they were forever shutting down streets, closing freeways, on ramps/ off ramps, etc. I went to work late once because of “filming”. Only in LA could you use, “They were filming a movie” as a tardy excuse.
While you’re at it look at the latest gay iPhone, or a Facebook drone giving free internet accesses to a billion illiterate sub Saharans or even a subsidized rocket/solar/car company or even a tube of toothpaste next day from Bezos or even a crate of unknowns from Jack Ma’s Alibaba in Chinastan.
It’s all run by liberals.
Aw hell! And this isn’t even APRIL 1ST!!! LOL!!
Brilliant!
a simple cork would have served the purpose nicely
“If The Number Of Islamic Terror Attacks Continues At The Current Rate, Candlelight Vigils Will Soon Be The Number-One Cause Of Global Warming. ”
Argus Hamilton
Mr BFH,
Being employed in the fossil fuel industry I’ve been made acutely aware of this man made global warming thing, but being able to feed my family, enjoy a warm house in the winter and being able to take the pickup to where I need to go is important to me. Other attempts to convince me of this global warming has fallen on deaf ears, but the aspect you put forth here has me rethinking the issue and I want to thank you for your enlightenment. I am so moved, I would like to match Page oh Turners donation, see above. The check should arrive shortly by regular mail, but please hold on to it until the first of next month, that is until funds are in place to make the good. You know, things have been a little financially slow in fossil fuels the last couple of years.
I hope the porn industry won’t be a part of this shutdown.
Most wasteful thing of the last 10 years…….
Cash for Clunkers……the destruction of good used cars that could have been driven as is….or parted out.
“I Am Movie”- an essay by Big Fur Hat
This is very reminiscent to the great essay, “I am Pencil”. I know there are well educated readers here, but for some reason if you have never read I Am Pencil, you should. It is required reading.
You gonna leave porn alone though, right?
I can tell the difference between school in session & school out for the day based solely on traffic levels. If libs are serious about cutting traffic and thus co2 emissions they would shut down all public schools at all levels.
@reboot July 13, 2017 at 1:19 am
I’d rather a few fewer years of Earth, than communal porn.
Ed357, you have to admit cash for clunkers got a helluva lot of “obama/biden” stickers off the road, so there’s that.