Last words- ‘I guess I won’t do this again’ – IOTW Report

Last words- ‘I guess I won’t do this again’

A salon worker was making a house call in Kiawah Island when she spotted an alligator on the edge of a pond. The 58 year-old animal lover went out to “pet” it.

The homeowners shouted to her to stay away because the alligator had pulled a deer into the water. She said, “I don’t look like a deer.” With that the alligator pulled her into the water.

The frantic homeowners threw her a pole. She stood up in the water and said, ‘I guess I won’t do this again’, just before she was pulled under the water to her death.

Hey “animal lovers.” The feeling isn’t always mutual.

story

ht/ jerry manderin

52 Comments on Last words- ‘I guess I won’t do this again’

  1. Good, one less drag on society.

    Bring Back the Lawn Dart – it was a great test for this type of person before society invested too much in them.

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  2. 58. Let’s hope she hadn’t already produced offspring with inherited judgment genes.

    Doing something that stupid lowers my sympathy level to one gnat’s eyelash above nil. That said, I do wish she hadn’t put her family and the intended client through what had to be a really bad experience.

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  3. Her famous last words simply MUST be inscribed on her headstone!! 😄

    Also, I was surprised to read a 9mm could penetrate an alligator’s skull and find its tiny brain

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  4. Well, at least she didn’t get anyone else killed – like that asshole who wanted to sing to the bears.
    Must watch too many cartoons – Wally Gator and Yogi Bear.

    RIP

    izlamo delenda est …

    8
  5. Most people who never venture out into nature don’t realize that nature will kill you. This, ‘be one with nature’ BS from dacades ago is laughable until it kills you.

    Just try to sleep outdoors all night in your back yard naked. You will never do that again.

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  6. Claudia,

    “Just try to sleep outdoors all night in your back yard naked.”

    Go on. Dare ya.
    Double Dog dare ya.
    A Dog House out back?
    A Saturday Night?
    Sunday Stories.

    2
  7. Reminds me of a post on our county FB watch page over the window. A Bay Area transplant had their glass slider cracked open just far enough to stick a hand out with a piece of BBQ chicken trying to hand feed a Mountain Lion. The first comment was great. “You need to put BBQ sauce on your hand so they won’t smell you”.

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  8. …this is actually a pretty horrible way to die, and I wouldn’t wish it even on a bunny hugger.

    Do you know what’s happened to this petter AFTER she got pulled down where it’s wetter?

    …Hopefully, she drown QUICKLY.

    …see, alligators aren’t very nice to their food, for the simple reason they can’t chew. Look at that jaw, no grinding teeth or way to use them if there WERE.

    So, what Bre’r Gator does with his food, IF he’s not under stress, is shove it into some underwater structure, some tangle of roots or submarine rock pile, and allow it to rot until he can pull easily digestible bits of rancid flesh off in swallowable sizes.

    IF he’s NOT under stress.

    …unfortunately, if there are OTHER alligators about…and alligators are PLENTY fruitful and multiplicative in those everons, so probably…he doesn’t want to lose his lunch to a bigger, stronger gator that was attracted by the struggle or the blood, so he goes to Plan B.

    It starts OUT the same, with the person being jammed into something deep…but then he grabs some part that sticks out, arm or leg, hand or foot…or head, if it’s little enough…, with his upper and lower jaw, then he spirals in the water, circling his entire, very STRONG body until he twists it OFF, so he can swallow it WHOLE, then go back for seconds and lather, rinse, repeat.

    He will do this VERY QUICKLY if he feels his dining is threatened by other gators. So quickly, that his victim may NOT be dead yet when he STARTS.

    …Gators are NOTHING to mess with. THey are VERY strong, VERY fast, VERY well armored, and whatever you’ve heard about poking its eyes or jacking its jaw AIN’T gonna save you, because they’re VERY peristent, too, not that suceptible to pain, and usually NOT alone.

    Pray for that family. We all had kids, and most of us were blessed that they didn’t die stupidly, at least not yet. And every kid has plenty of opporunities to die stupidly. Maybe not ALLIGATOR stupidly, but stupidly. I saw PLENTY of stupid death, and was gld that I wasn’t the one to have to explain it to a mother, father, sister, or brother. NO family should have to deal with that.

    As for the young lady, I pray she met death quickly, she came to Jesus before losing conciousness, and that others learn from her example and DON’T MESS WITH GATORS.

    But they probably won’t…

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  9. Uncle Al MAY 7, 2020 AT 10:26 AM
    “@Geoff the aardvark:

    She should also be a posthumous Darwin Award winner.

    Is there any other kind? (-:”

    …actually, YES. AMYTHING that removes the victim’s genes from the gene pool BEFORE they reproduce is qualification for a Darwin Award. This doesn’t NECESSARILY have to include DEATH, but certainly CAN.

    I saw ONE guy who went over his cycle handlebars into a field, but his NUTS didn’t. IF he had no children, INSTANT DARWIN, whether he lived or NOT (unless they can be sucessfully reattached).

    Here are their criteria;

    “So how are the Darwin Awards actually determined?

    Nominees significantly improve the gene pool by eliminating themselves from the human race in an obviously stupid way. They are self-selected examples of the dangers inherent in a lack of common sense, and all human races, cultures, and socioeconomic groups are eligible to compete. Actual winners must meet the following criteria:

    Reproduction
    Out of the gene pool: dead or sterile.
    Excellence
    Astounding misapplication of judgment.
    Self-Selection
    Cause one’s own demise.
    Maturity
    Capable of sound judgment.
    Veracity
    The event must be true.”
    https://darwinawards.com/rules/

    …”Dead OR sterile”.

    …here’s one NOW…
    “”For being named Lantern, he wasn’t very bright.”
    (7 May 2002, Wisconsin) Lantern, 30, enjoyed playing a private game with his wife. He would pull down his pants, place the barrel of a shotgun against his scrotum, and tell her to pull the trigger. They had played this game frequently, to his immense pleasure. The gun was unloaded, of course.

    On this pleasant Friday, he was excited to try again. The thrill was even larger because his wife’s girlfriend was pulling into the driveway at the time. “Shoot ’em off before she gets here!” Lantern told his wife. She pulled the trigger. But this time, the gun was loaded.

    Emergency crews arrived to find Lantern bleeding profusely from his groin, wearing shoes and socks, with his pants down around his ankles. The police were told it was an accident, and the couple didn’t know the gun was loaded. Lantern was admitted to the hospital in critical condition, where he survived to earning the indisputible right to the rarest of honors: the Living Darwin Award.”
    https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2002-16.html

    …so yes, there ARE non-posthumus Darwin awards. You just WISH you were dead…

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  10. Terrible.
    I feel bad for her relatives, to bear the brunt of such scorn. She was terminally naïve, and she paid for it.
    Her last words proved she had learned.
    Twain said: “A cat sat on a hot stove lid. He never sat on another hot stove lid. He never sat on a cold one either.”

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  11. I can probably make an accurate guess that the news headline:

    “A salon worker has died due to failing to obey Gov Henry McMaster’s Covid-19 Quarantine Executive Order no. 2020-29”.

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  12. Claudia MAY 7, 2020 AT 10:31 AM

    Most people who never venture out into nature don’t realize that nature will kill you. This, ‘be one with nature’ BS from dacades ago is laughable until it kills you.

    Just try to sleep outdoors all night in your back yard naked. You will never do that again.

    So..

    You..

    I mean..

    Gotta go, I think I hear my Mom calling!

    4

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