There once was a man named… (You can go Carlos, Anthony, Weiner, Danger, etc.)
58 Comments on Let’s Hear Your Weiner Limerick
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Weiner had a gift of sorts…
He got a hard on in his shorts…
A gift he said God gave him…
Many photos were at the gym…
The photos showed it was do to warts…
Their once was a dick named tony. To little girls he would show his baloney He tweeted his knob. His wife lost her job. And now they are dealing with Comey
What if Carlos Danger lied…
And didn’t have a dick the photos implied..
He was bald as a prick..
And his head shaped like a dick…
So, Andrea Mitchell near died…
Anthony, dear Anthony…
The dirty little Weiner…
Took his mess..
In front of the press…
And proclaimed a calm demeanor…
There once was a democrat named Anthony, who couldn’t stop playing with his bologna, with every tweet he beat his meat and shared it with every tween. He called himself Danger and even did it with a toddler. Good Lord Anthony, you’re a sick fuck, but thanks for Hillary’s bad luck.
a democrat with a perversion
is as common as an islamic persian
but one who stood out
loved to selfie his trout
and fantasize in a virtual excursion
I am the fabulous Carlos Danger
my dong on the ‘Net, is no stranger
good thing Huma didn’t bark
Or I’d be napping in Ft. Marcy Park
Or in Federal prison playing Rump Ranger
There was a disgraced congressman whose dreams,
Induced him to send naked images to tweens.
He used his wife’s device,
Which was confiscated by the VICE,
and somehow implicated hitlery’s entire presidential team.
In congress there was no one meaner
than that skinny prick Anthony Weiner.
He liked to send pics
to very young chicks.
Uma? Long time since he’s seen her.
Huma Abedin said she was proud of Anthony’s big weiner….
She bit her lip and let it slip that Anthony was just a big jerk off and should die like a poisoned frog in the toilet…
h/t Andrew Dice Clay
There once was a limerick
About a guy with the name of a dick
While texting the words
Like most goofy nerds
His device became a selfie stick
Anthony once visited the Azores…
Huma’s cunt got covered with green sores..
The dogs in the street ate the green meat…
that festooned from under her holiday drawers…
A Weiner lacking all class.
Would text nasty pix to a lass
Justice will prevail
He’ll end up in jail
Getting weinerd in the ass
What the FBI found on his laptop
made the Hillary minion’s hearts stop.
The keys were real sticky
but let’s not be picky.
His DNA is making Hill’s polls drop.
There once was a man named Danger,
who sent his junk to a stranger.
His pink torpedo,
and a twisted libido,
was taken down by a teenager.
Not a limerick, but a lyric! It’s hard to do better than Procol Harum did in 1970 with
Give em the bone Tone.
Sorry, I’m a straight to the point kind of guy. Ain’t got time to rhyme. Oh wait, I just did.
Hillary, Uma and Bill
want back in the White House still.
But Weiner’s hard schlong
in pics is just wrong
and now there chances are nil.
Carlos Danger had a nose, the size of South Dakota…
He took some pics with his dick, but never met the quota…
The media, they didn’t care…
As Huma’s hair grew much more fair…
The press just said Vagina…
And now THEIR chances are nil. Dammit!
There once was a perv from Manhattan
who liked sefies and chattin’
He sent pictures so crude
of himself practically nude
except for the jock strap he shat in.
The skinny young man was out of his league
Whenst into these waters he swam
The Hag thought his perversion
Was grist for diversion
But it brought a big light on the scam
Huma said she could not have come cleaner,
But her hubby was sexting a teener.
What the cops would uncover
Soon made her discover
It was too late to cut off her Weiner.
Politicians are making me sick.
Weiner was always a prick.
Bill’ use of cigars.
Hill’s drunk ass in bars.
Go vote for Donald Trump quick.
I can do this shit all night long.
There once was a man named Carlos…
Who tossed his salad very verbose…
He said with a grin…
as he wiped off his chin…
I like 15 year old salads THE most…
Once there was a Dumbass, that took some pictures with his phone- ‘ick’
If he gets in the way
Of the Sea Hag’s big day
He’ll end up at the bottom of the Potom-ac
Anthony Weiners undies are a stew…
Of festering DNA and spew…
they smell of rot…
and hog vomit snot…
The stench can be taken by few…
Weiner’s weenie was very photogenic, as
It rose to the call of his selfie stick
But one tweet was too many, it
Could not be hidden by Comey
Now what becomes of the Democrat party?
El Carlos from Nantucket
was fond of flashing his fukit
His Persian pussy was fickle
and preferred Gramma’s tongue to his pickle.
As a FNG here I’ve seen some pretty good limericks but I have to admit the bell ringer is the one by:
CFM990
Their once was a dick named tony. To little girls he would show his baloney He tweeted his knob. His wife lost her job. And now they are dealing with Comey
Things are getting really sad now.
With his political capital low
Weiner’s wife she sure didn’t know.
He turned to his laptop
and jerked till his knob popped.
And now to the hoosegow he’ll go.
There once was a pervert named Tony
Loved to take pics of his baloney
His love of child porn
Left Huma forlorn
And Hillary’s emails now with Comey
There once was a man from New York
Who liked to take pics of his pork
His dalliance with a youngster
Put Hillary in the dumpster
And Huma eats prison meals with a spork.
“Take our money, Hill!” wheedled the banker.
“Take the blond, Bill!” drooled Epstein, “And spank her!”
But back in New York
Huma’s ex-spouse, the dork
Had only his phone, the poor wanker.
If I didn’t have all Eternity, I’d be demanding BFH give me back the 18 minutes I spent reading this stuff.
As Fred Allen said, “I’ve read better rhymes on Burma Shave signs…with the last two missing.” 👿
On social media you can’t be a loner,
You’ll be pestered by a democratic donor.
If you get a Facebook poke,
It won’t be a joke,
But in fact Congressman Weiner’s boner.
There was a NooYawker named Weiner,
who’s wife wouldn’t show him her neener,
Tweeting pics of his prick, to underage chicks,
lead to his wife’s nasty boss’ subpoena !
Huma’s beard had occasion to tweet
His turgidness under a sheet
To an underage lass
And now his ass
Will be welcomed as fresh easy meat
There once was a Weiner from New York
Who had a habit of posting his dork
Had a thing for an underage chick
Thought he was cool for showing his dick
Now he’s turning States Evidence to save his pork
Down in Manhattan where dollars do flow
There now lives a Jew whose poor story you know
He called himself Carlos and I’ll tell you more
He’s a slick talking, dick waving, political whore.
When Huma met Carlos she first turned him down
As a Congressman he was a jerk and a clown
But Hillary pushed her to marry this man
To satisfy Satan and his evil plan
Soon Carlos was sending his dick everywhere
It even showed up at the New York State Fair
But a gal name of Sydney soon brought to an end
The tsunami of dick pics that he loved to send
So Carlos then left his Congressional seat
And he promised his wife that he’d cover his meat
But fate intervened during his Mayoral race
And Carlos’s dick appeared again in cyberspace
Now don’t you feel sorry for Carlos’s fate
He stole Huma’s emails so he will now skate
Any crimes he committed with young teenage girls
For dropping his trousers while proudly unfurled
Now Hillary’s crowd has to deal with this mess
And Carlos is singing, he wants to confess
The FBI’s yearning to lock up this bitch
All because Carlos wanted to show his jock itch
There once was a jerk named Tony
Who pulled and wanked his bologna
It stiffened and spat
Huna’s keyboard is hazmat
And the FBI is not touching that
Weiner is not one to snitch
But his antics may have just sunk the bitch
He texted his junk
Now Hillary is sunk
And He may end up in a ditch
There once a dick named Danger,
Who sexted his dick to a stranger,
He thought he was cool cause Huma’s a fool
Being Hillary’s chief Depends changer.
Huma’s husband, one Anthony Weiner
Thinks his wife couldn’t be any meaner
He “just” tweeted his stick
To an under-aged chick
Now it’s been quite a while since he’s seen her
@F.D.R. in Hell: BFH should have included instructions on what a limerick is and how they are constructed.
https://whvvugt.home.xs4all.nl/Archives_TCCMB/Limericks/Structure.html
🙂
There once was a perverted fool
That loved sending texts of his tool
It caused quite a rage
They were all underage
Now wonders why prison sounds cruel
The Republic needed saving rather quickly
Along came a selfie taking sickey
He was joined by a creation called Wiki
Together they aborted the modern Tricky Dicky
I can’t write a limerick
About some guy tweeting his dick
He shoulda kept his wang
For his wife’s poontang
And kept us from getting sick.
There gonna put y’all in chains!
and Bush sux!
Barky sez he’d eat pussy, but a weiner’s cleaner.
What I win? Can I get one a them ‘shanka hats? Then I’d have a big furry head, too!
http://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-karaoke/weiner-carlos-danger-man-t11445.html
There’s a man who tweets as Carlos Danger
And everytime we look, he’s acting stranger
Oh, with every tweet he makes
Another scandal breaks
Odds are he’ll beclown himself tomorrow
Carlos .. DANGER, man .. Carlos .. DANGER, man
Oh, he’s making a huge blunder
And a covering himself in shame
Beware the online groupies that you find
A pretty thong can mask self-serving mind
Oh be careful what you text
Might be on “Dirty” next
Odd are you’ll be butt of jokes tomorrow
Carlos .. DANGER, man .. Carlos .. DANGER, man
Oh, you gave yourself a mon’ker
But they still found out your name
Sexting with that Leathers female one day
Then hiding behind your wifey’s skirts the next day
Oh, stand by him if you dare
He dont seem self aware
Odds are he’ll prison bitch tomorrow
Carlos .. DANGER, man .. Carlos DANGER, man
Oh they’re laughing at your mon’ker
And a-smirking about your name
Groucho, I didn’t see what you were posting there. I may have to denounce myself
http://thepeoplescube.com/post208042.html#208042
Just don’t tweet it when you do it
http://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-karaoke/
Weinerfest
The strange tale of Carlos Danger
You’d think couldn’t get any stranger
‘Til he downloaded email
From the prospective First Female
And was caught by NY’s Lone Ranger
When Hillary’s classified email
Met Anthony’s underage female
Oh what a kerfuffle
When those scandals did shuffle
Now they’re both facing long stints in jail
A tosser named Anthony Weiner
Facebooked his todge to a teener
It’s confirmed, the rumour,
That Clinton tossed Huma
And Carlos’s still tossing his wiener
Regarding Hillary and Huma
There is a salacious rumour
Which maybe doth begin
To explain their husbands’ sin
Now it’s out of control like a tumour