Many Unhappy Returns – IOTW Report

Many Unhappy Returns

Stilton’s Place: Bells are ringing, birds are singing, and nubile maidens frolic and gambol while tossing rose petals into the air! And that’s only a short list of the wonderful things that aren’t happening (but should) now that we’ve finally finished and filed our blankety-blanking federal taxes.


Instead, we simply feel a sense of weary and melancholy accomplishment, in much the same way we’d feel if we survived a gangbang in a prison shower and knew that it wasn’t for the last time.  Read more

17 Comments on Many Unhappy Returns

  1. I’m so impressed that Obama saw fit to send my taxes to Iran, BLM, SEIU, failed green technologies and socialist community organizers.
    Thanks Barry.

    PS: Barry, I sure miss $4.00/gallon gasoline too.

  2. @Uncle Al

    Luckily the Dept. of Defense have 2200 antiquated Computer systems to iron out this problem (the Defense Finance and Accounting Service, DFAS computer language is 50 years old). It’ll probably cost another $Trillion to find out where that $Trillion went. But they’ll keep spending until they find it.

    I suspect support, finances, bribes and arms for Islamic terrorists covers a fair part of it and that’s not counting the equipment ISIS captured after Obama won the Iraq war.
    Oh wait, he didn’t !

  3. Taxes, Pah!
    The IRS is so far up my ass I am paying them extra to remove any polyps they come across.
    If Trump does one thing, he will be my Hero.
    Just stop all the bullshit studies.
    Studies about:
    Whether or not Dogs approve of Nougat
    How many out of a billion shrimp can be taught to do cardio
    Do Monkeys prefer pancakes over waffles
    Crap like that.
    Do just that and we’ll be rolling in dough, and won’t need to pay taxes

  4. One tax “reform” congress should enact: Eliminate withholding. If everyone had to right a check to uncle Sam every April for their taxes, they would converge on Washington DC with torches and pitchforks. There would be congressmen hanging from streetlamps.

  5. @cato – 50 year old computer systems? If they need help, that’s right up my alley! I paid my COBOL and FORTRAN dues back in the 70s, plus a fair share of IBM ALC as a mainframe systems geek. I’d be glad to get access to that code (heh-heh-heh) and my consulting fee is a measly $800/hr plus chauffeured limo travel and a four star hotel suite.

  6. It’s now federal law here, GovGuam gotta give
    us back our tax refunds. They used to steal it
    all and blow it on stoopid shit. They have
    six months from you dropping it off or they
    have to refund with a interest payment. Last
    year the interest payment was forty nine bux.
    That’s a damn good hotel buffet for two!!

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