Yahoo Lifestyle-
In an exclusive interview on ABC Sunday night with Michelle Obama, Robin Roberts touched on an excerpt from Michelle Obama’s book in which she discusses how her predecessor, Laura Bush, told her that she was just “a phone call away.”
In turn, Obama has offered the same assistance to the current first lady. But when Roberts asked, “Has [Trump] reached out to you and asked for any help?” Michelle Obama responded, “No, she hasn’t.” More
Smart gal that Melania
For what? Certainly not in the attire category or how many assistants FLOTUS needs.
What kind of advice can Mooch offer to Melania? How to avoid getting your penis caught in a zipper? What to do when your husband is a homosexual?
Why would she take advice from him?
“Hi Michelle, Melania here. Listen, I’ve been looking for that table cloth that goes in the east kitchen…last time I saw it, you were wearing it during a State Dinner to host foreign dignitaries. Do you happen to know where it is? Thanks!”
Not that I care but did Mike ever call Laura?
What constructive advice, pray tell, could Big Mike possibly have to offer? She is particularly unaccomplished.
Mooch, it’s Melania ..
How did you pull off the whole bull dyke thing?
Yes. ‘Perpetual victim bitch face’ is real and can be taught to others.
John Zonk; Good one. (LOL) So good I almost didn’t post mine.
Hey Mooch, it’s Melania again. Planning a trip to Spain with 40 of my BFFs. How did you keep the price below 10 million?
BTW.. Watch for the photos of me climbing the steps with Spanish princess’s..
“Hi Michelle, Melania again. Just wanted you to know that the Ebony and Jet magazines are still being delivered to our house. Can I get your new address so I can have the USPS forward them to you? Thanks!”
Bulltinkle the Mooch-
How did your idea to make East Room dinnerware out of paper plates made from $2 bills, “..since we don’t use them any more?”
“What kind of advice can Mooch offer to Melania? How to avoid getting your penis caught in a zipper? What to do when your husband is a homosexual?”
…@John Zonk, she will ALSO never have to ask the thing Mooch knows the MOST about…”how do you get the duct tape off your penis without tearing the skin when you needed to wear a formal dress all day so it had to be strapped down TIGHT?”
…the answer may well be “you can’t”. Which could ALSO explain the “Perpetual Bitch Face”, @Banjo Bill….
Will The narcissism never end?
Mooch, it’s me Melania again…
Did your husband ever notice that Donald never called him for advice either?
“We’re still waiting for you to pick up the toilets we tore out before we moved in. Good news: The bad smell in Air Force One is nearly gone, and the floor under where you slept has finally leveled itself. Moo, if you are ever in the area and feel like dropping in to say hi, dont.”
Sorry to get serious, but how and when and why did the”Office of the First Lady” become an official part of our Federal Government? It’s not in the Constitution and I haven’t found the legislation.
But we did get a great upgrade.
Melania has never called the sewage treatment plant in Peoria or the transexual suicide hotline in San Fistandcrisco either.
That’s a sign she’s never suffered any brain damage.
“Thanks for the offer Michelle but no, we don’t want a Portuguese Water Dog, maybe Jim Acosta might want it.”
TP – the same day we got the office of president elect.
Mooch, it’s Melania again.. sorry to keep bothering you…
When exactly were you “first” a lady?
Melanoma could use First Lady Michelle Obama’s advice on how to be a classy lady.
Mooch, it’ Melania again…
I feel like we’re really bonding now…
I think I just figured out why Hustler never offered you a million dollars for a nude photo shoot
I heard Barack made Stir Fry with Bo.
For like the millionth time in her life, Mooch immediately went back to not being proud of her country.
Shocker.
She doesn’t need advice on how to trim testicle hair, Mooch, you useless escaped zoo animal.
Why would a prima ballerina ask for dance advice from a hippo?
The First Lady isn’t likely to need tips for a homemade concoction to relieve jock itch.
“Michelle, honey, it’s Melania again. Say, are you STILL beating your husband? He’s not looking too good.”
They got the Obama stench out of Air Force 1? So they don’t have to buy replacements now? Are the White House windows still open year round?
“Mooch, it’s me, Melania. The White House vegetable garden: is that dog shit I smell?”
So Shelly couldn’t smile after half an hour at Trump’s inauguration and she cried for half an hour after but she told Melania to call if she ever wanted to talk?
I’m thinking I call BS on that claim.
Actually on all her claims.
The only reason she’s mad is because Barry didn’t end up being so adored that everyone called for a third term.
If Melania ever called Mooch, the media would immediately accuse her of colluding with a communist.
In a related story, Melania has also neglected to seek advice from Orca Winfrey…
Melania is NOT going to call the man-boon for fashion advice. Plus, Mooch is ostensibly illiterate, so grammar assistance is out, too.
I know my world view is focused solely on my race and constraining my genitals but I can contribute..really…
Melania to Mooch:
“Does it hurt?”
“What?”
“Your face?”
“Why?”
“Because you’re so damn ugly, it must hurt.”
If there were ever a one word adjective for Mike, it would be feckless.
If Melania ever needs advice on how to look like a man in drag she knows who to ask.
“Hey Mike uh Michelle…this is Melania…can you teach me Ebonics to add to the collection of languages I speak? Second thought, ne, hvala”…click.
MAGA2016
KAG2020
No, First Sasquatch. Melania doesn’t need advice on how to trap prey and turning the hide into a boob belt.
The Lady and the Tramp.