BBC
Technology giant Microsoft has filed a patent for a system to monitor employees’ body language and facial expressions during work meetings and give the events a “quality score”.
A filing suggests it could be deployed in real-world meetings or online virtual get-togethers.
It envisions rooms being packed with sensors to monitor the participants, which could raise privacy concerns.
Microsoft is already under fire over a separate “productivity-score” tool. More
The Toobinometer?
People who are actually doing the bulk of the work will be hardest hit.
Just more creepyness from the masters of illegal and unethical intrusion.
Everyone in the tech development world is a peeping tom.
This is beyond creepy.
It is an intrusion on one’s privacy which should be permissible to no one, particularly the state (where is will certainly end up) and employers.
Just sayin’.
I participated in a beta test of this technology by attending a press conference with Joe Biden. I was judged unworthy because my trumfolicious…uh, you know – the thing, was sub-knethotectic and while I admitted to being dog-faced, I am certainly no pony soldier.
I did recover some social acceptance points by agreeing to Biden’s push-up challenge, which he won by almost doing one while I pretended to collapse in pain.
If I worked there I think I’d work up a good Joe Cocker impression…
Can they tell I’m continually saying “Fuck you all, fuck you all, fuck you all while wearing a face diaper?
This is Julius Fast on Steroids. Big brother is coming after us. They want only DRONES in their organizations, and not individuals. NO MORE>>>> IDEAS<<<< to spit ball. Only like minds and collective thinking. REMEMBER…. this is how the AZTEC was built. The vehicle that GM had to HIRE people to drive that vehicle in MI to boost consumer support. FUCK THIS! Who are these people??
Hey, this gives me an idea that should be a real money-maker. People who attend these hypermonitored political correctness enforcing meetings will want to convey with their non-verbal cues something different from what they’re actually thinking.
So…I should open up mime schools.
Why have staff meetings at all? Just let the sensors monitor other sensors and come up with their own consensus without human involvement. Program in advance the outcome that is wanted. Oh, wait…already been done. WTF??
Silence is Violence. You will be cancelled.
Fucking Horrific!
Only do Zoom as Max Headroom.
Works for me.
Imagine if you have Turrets and have to sit through the meeting? WITHOUT saying a word???
I worked with a guy that had it. VERY interesting dialogue comes as a result…otherwise a nice guy, but man, the curse words that came out, and the REAL thoughts? AMAZING.
Oh, and a BIG FU Microsoft…and all the other tech GIANTS, while I am at it…
That’s office policy coming from a Nutjob that wants to control world population with his wife.
The wife? Another nutjob on steroids…
All those brains at Microsoft and they have to develop a system to figure out what an upright middle finger means.
@TRF – “If I worked there I think I’d work up a good Joe Cocker impression”
Now THAT was funny, meant to add…
…but how about Joe Cocker and John Belushi performing…TOGETHER?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZsOyO_lXD8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZsOyO_lXD8
Ghost, I was hoping you’d provide some simulated Turrets ‘conversations’ here. 🙂
(flappa blappa razzle frats)
That is why I have my camera permanently blocked for my meetings.
Is it going to detect I don’t give a sh#t and am listening to conservative radio while the meeting is muted.
Finally a legitimate reason to wear a mask.
Yeah Ghost… those two are very much missed!
I thought turrets syndrome was when you ran out of armor piercing rounds for your tank.
It’s coming bitches. Coverage of Mac’s Pub in nyc tonight. It’s coming. The left burns shit down. The right opens places up.
Sociopaths will breeze right through this software.
Post-meeting interview with staff performance consultant Cunty McCunterson:
Cunty McCunterson: “Your non-verbal quality score fell to 0.0!… How do you explain yourself, Nazi?!!!”
TheMule: “Well, Cunty, I either 1) had a mini stroke, 2) had an acute case of Bell’s Palsy or 3) I was thinking about what a monumental asshole you are. I claim 1 or 2, and you can’t prove different.”
Well,this is pretty sad. When I was there, I used to purposely do things that would make those boring Monday roundtables interesting. Three that were memorable was when I came in late, trailing about six feet of toilet tissue stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Head arrows and Groucho glasses were always a crowd pleaser and I placed one of each on two separate occassions at each person’s place.
We also had a white board in the snack room on which anyone could write a joke or random thought. My all-time favorite was “Free the Indianapolis 500.” I never found out who the author was. Engineers are pretty funny people. So are the finance guys.
Ghost like turrets with machine guns as you wear you emoji mask and and blast away at the drones around you,they would never know who you were. Best auto correct in a long time.
@Jimmy – the guy called the cute secretary a Cee you Next Tuesday and the spanish guy a spick. It was a combination of Tourettes and a stutter…
He would repeat CCC…SSSS. He did it from his computer station where you could not see him BUT could hear him!
Unfortunately for him he got let go…a shame really.
We are all fucked up in SOME way, in our thoughts.
WE just have the ability, in public, NOT HERE, to say it without retribution… :>O
Hummna Hummna Hummna…
So, if you spend the entire meeting holding up 2 middle fingers, how will the software “interpret” that nonverbal communication?
Would it pick up me ferociously rubbing my YUGE nuts under the table?
When the talk turns to bestiality or other kinds of deviant sex, don’t you dare squirm in your seat, and take that look of disgust off your face.
I generally sat in meetings and tried to make it apparent they were wasting my time. I didn’t do it with props — I was a pre – cellular and pager employee. I pretended to listen to the overhead pages.
Rich would walk out to his office and overhead page me.
Same shit I did for him.
“If I’m in Peak Load for more than 10 minutes you need to give me an urgent overhead page.”
“I will do that.”
We looked out for one another.
I like it, provided it is mandated for Congress, State legislatures, City councils and the like.
The pervs will dress it up as a vital educational and developmental technology and bribe cities to put it in public schools first, to indoctrinate and condition the kids, and to identify those “at risk” (capable of thought).