Godvine: The ever hilarious Kristina Kuzmic has some thoughts on being her kids’ friend. And the points she makes about being a friend verses a parent are spot on!
13 Comments on Mom Won’t Be Her Kids’ ” Friend”
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I must say that I have always hated it when I heard anyone call their child. “Buddy” “Hey hows it going buddy?” He is not your buddy , she is not your buddy. They are your children and as she states in the video you need to do your job as a parent or they will turn into little shits…then big shits… that are a burden and detriment to society.
Red wine and Ice cream!
I’m horrified, HOW TACKY, everybody knows Champagne goes with ice cream.
Yeah my wife and I went over this when our oldest child was only six and she wanted him to call her by her first name because she wanted to be a friend.
That was one of the strongest times I put my foot down and insisted, and in no uncertain terms, that that was not the way it was going to be.
It was no surprise to me that when we split up they did not behave themselves at all when they were with her. And for the first time ever, I heard the words come out of her mouth “your dads apply here too!”
Me: oh, NOW you get it…
“your dads apply here too!”
Did a word get left out? I get the intent, but something seems wrong/misplaced/missing.
I’ve always said “Anybody can be my kids’ friend, but only I can be their mother.” Of course, now they’re young women, so our relationship has evolved to where I am comfortable being a “friend” to them, but I’m still their mom, and they know not to invite me out to get shitfaced with them.
Yeah, Woodman. I posted that from my phone while working earlier and missed the word “rules”.
Funny how I form a thought and sometimes skip a word when typing it out.
One of my f**ked-up facets, I guess.
Thanks for pointing it out, but I wouldn’t have caught it until I read it after posting anyway – I don’t know why, but on my phone, I can’t scroll the comment window to proofread.
Maybe I should keep them shorter. Nah.
Back to the subject:
I had a conversation about this subject with my oldest when he was 14 and not liking some discipline that was only coming from me.
He was shocked when I told him that “Being liked by my son” was nowhere on my list of being a Dad to him.
Lot’s of conversations and struggles later, he is a Father of two married to their Mother and an officer of the law. The list could go on, Marine, etc. Oh yeah, he doesn’t fear his kids not liking him. Strange how that goes `round.
While I’m glad I kept at it with him, he gets all the credit for making better choices for himself and being the man he is.
I loved raising the boys. No matter how hard it got.
P.S.
I wish I had found a wife like her. Wow, what we could have done.
While she is good lookin`, her attitude is what swoons me.
She’s a keeper even if her looks faded tomorrow.
Well, I called my parents Ethel and Stanley sometimes, and they sometimes called me Marci. None of these were our given names, but rather nicknames.
It’s a long story. You had to be there. But I never, ever mistook them for my friends.
Duh, feeling a little slow now.
Watching it a second time I noticed the subliminal but in-your-face aspect of the video.
She keeps saying she doesn’t care what her children think of her in various ways because her commitment is to their future selves, yet the wine, the eating ice cream straight out of the carton, the adding chocolate as she goes – all say: Yeah it’s stressful!!
Once I saw that, her words started sounding like what she tells herself for why she perseveres.
The stress of not being liked by your kid/s is real.
i begged and begged my husband to stop saying these things, but he never realized the harm he was doing:
“I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER, I DON’T HAVE TO TAKE THIS FROM YOU.” – meaning your mother DOES have to take this from you….
and
“I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER, I’M DON’T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS”….meaning mom, of course, DOES have to put up with it……
he defended this by saying he was teaching them that a woman – ie me, his wife, DOES NOT NEED a man to protect her, she is powerful in her own right……yeah…..against two teenage males a foot taller and several 10s of pounds heavier…..
i needed him to step in and at least take my side ONCE IN A WHILE… meanwhile, he was busy showing my kids how women don’t need men to protect them……
after they knocked me down the porch stairs and broke my ankle, things changed a little bit……
right…….
and YES, dadof4…..we sure could use an edit button here……most of us realize we’ve made a stupid spelling error or left out a word, but there’s nothing we can do about it except comment downline……..kinda silly, really…..i doubt that an edit button is all that hard to manage……
chuck, my sympathies on having a non-partner partner. A selfish mate makes raising a family much tougher than it needs to be.
Like you’re dealing with another child in the family. A very large unrestricted child.
Been there.
Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy. We haven’t discovered an edit widget that won’t throw the comment section into fits, yet. For now, it’s either you can comment with errors, or no comment section at all. You’ll have to mind your grammars a little closer until then.