Momisms – IOTW Report

Momisms

27 Comments on Momisms

  1. My favorite was the “I’ve had it up to here!”
    Which was usually accompanied by a hand being held somewhere between her nose and brown bone.
    It was a great indicator of just how much further we could push her, before she completely lost it.

    8
  2. If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about, (You little fucking bastard.)
    Just joking, but my Mom was tough, my Poor Dad? God rest their souls.

    11
  3. MissInMi – That could be tough in the Middle East…
    “Muhammad Abdul Aziz Abd ar-Rahman al-Bazzaz-Nahasapeemapetalan!”
    “Get in here now!”
    “I know I have a good reason, but I just forgot it saying yer name!”

    6
  4. You’ll never amount to anything! You can’t even make the First Friday’s like Seamus Shea down the street does. You’ll never be a Priest, not even an Altar Boy. You’ll just be a corner boy, a goodfornothing. Irish Catholic Mother. Happy Mother’s Day Mom.

    8
  5. When I was about 7 years old I accidentally swallowed an apple seed.
    Mom said it would probably grow into an apple tree in my stomach.

    Freaked me out real good.
    I’ll remind her when I call tonight.

    9
  6. “I’ll Beat you with a Blibbit!” She would say…

    Ummm mom… Whats a “Blibbit”?

    “sock full of shit”

    Heh, Happy Mothers Day all… /Salute

    6
  7. As mom lay dying and talking with her .. I said that I didn’t get my mother’s sense of humor but then realized that I got my mother’s sense of humor

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  8. The day before my mom died she was getting a little delirious and was making some non-voluntary motions like threading a needle and then sewing, and also bending over and ‘pulling weeds’ from the kitchen floor (both things she had done a lot of in her life). Her final request of me before she drifted off to sleep was that I bring her a bag of mulch! 🙂

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  9. When I was 7-9 years old, my mom would threaten to send me to Diaper School when I misbehaved. I thought that shit was real, yo. Scared the shit out of me. She did have a paddle that she would occasionally threaten me with, but get this; it was a broken paddle ball game (rubber band attached to a rubber ball) that featured Fat Albert and the gang. How cruel it was to take a swat from one of your own broken toys! My mom didn’t eff around.

    7
  10. Shut that door you’re letting dirty rotten flies in!
    and
    Don’t hold that refrigerator door open!
    and
    Eat that over the sink!
    When we crossed a street she was holding on to me when I was 40 years old.
    I made my favorite molasses cookies last night in her memory, but they weren’t as good as my Mom’s.

    7
  11. My Mom died in ’73. I remember all the admonitions mentioned above and more. But what I remember most is when I was sick or needed comfort, my Mom would stroke my head and say, “It’s alright Paw Paw, It’s alright” (my name is Paul). She was the only person I ever allowed to call me that.
    Thanks Mom. Miss you. Love you….. Always..

    6
  12. Who put me on the ice cold pot
    And made me pee, when I could not?
    Me Mother.
    Bless you Mom, See you soon, I hope.
    Unless FDR has a seat for me down below.

    5
  13. Bman, made me smile when I read your comment. My mother gave me those instruments of terror when I became an adult. One is a FLI-BACK and the other is a Bo-Lo BOUNCER. Both made in the good old USA.

    2
  14. With my dad and 4 boys my mom always said in case we were ever bombed or nuked that the safest place in the house would be under the toilet because it had never been hit. And I learned real fast not to talk back to her because she had a fast back hand right to the face. And to turn down music that she didn’t like before she heard the lyrics.

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