NASA Will Announce A Major Mars Discovery On Monday

130 Comments on NASA Will Announce A Major Mars Discovery On Monday

1. I think they’ve discovered people who want American welfare and reparations.

2. A Stargate.

3. Obama’s balls.

4. I am guessing clockboy discovered something there.

   The dude took a working clock apart and wears a NASA shirt, right?
   Gotsta be a genius…

   BTW, does Mars face Mecca?

5. Michelle’s balls.

6. Kittens.

7. The NA of the extinct, fossilized life forms, remarkably similar to jellyfish, slime mold and dust bunnies on the Red Planet matches that of the spineless RINO/Republicans.

8. They discovered alien life six months ago but had to wait until they determined a politically correct word to call them.

   Undocumented Martians…

9. Three scripts to the Star Wars prequels that George Lucas should have made.

10. That’s DNA dammit.

11. John Carter and Deja Thoris. And of course Marvin the Martian.

12. A wall to keep the Venusians out.

13. From what I have seen lately on TV…Matt Damon is stuck there.

    YEAH! 🙂

14. Excellent references there @Geoff 🙂 John Carter was a way underrated movie.

15. A red shirt and a tricorder.

16. OT but my daughter just got two from the shelter and we are not getting much done at home!!

17. Lost dryer socks

18. Starbuck’s cigar.

19. obama announces that mars was discovered and inhabited by islam.
    global warming forced them to illegally migrate to Earth.

    obama will give every muslim 40 acres, a goat, free food, housing and medical care (all paid for by US taxpayers)..

20. Hillary’s emails, the rose law firm records, obamas actual birth cert and or jimmy hoffa

21. Shelia Jackson-Lee finally confirmed that the Mars Pathfinder probe had taken a picture of that flag Neil Armstrong planted on Mars in 1969.

22. Hillary’s emails.

23. Twiki and Dr. Theopolis
    **beedy**beedy**

24. Sleestak and the skeleton of Cha-Ka

25. Ronnie Cox’s skeleton.

26. Emperor Ming’s palace

27. Crop circles in Martian dust

28. obama’s Birth Cert and college records inside a mosque.

29. Some homeless guy waiting for government assistance…

30. Illustr8r, I grew up on Edgar Rice Burroughs and all the John Carter of Mars books, all 11 of them. The best thing Disney did after the movie flopped was to republish all 11 of the Martian novels by ERB which had been out of print since the early 60’s. I was in geek heaven when I saw that at Barnes and Noble and bought them all. And as a ERB purist if Disney would have stuck to the books and not tried to embellish it with the so called Disney magic it could’ve been far better.

31. Oh, and a koran.

32. The Marxist Pope’s next destination…

33. Something they came up with to keep their funding flowing…..

34. Lieutenant Uhura’s soiled blue dress?

35. Ornella Muti…aye carumbe!

36. Since our asswagon president is renaming shit, the Red Planet may be next?

37. A statue of MoeHamHead taking it up the tail pipe from a 5th grader.

38. 40 Light years and a meteor…

39. They found Jimmy Hoffa’s remains.

40. Globull Warming…..caused by man-made NASA probe emissions

    even on Mars it’s the USA’s fault….

41. They will announce that China has reached Mars first since Bill Clinton gave them all of our secret intelligence many years ago.

    (Sad, but indeed true)

42. Jimmy Hoffa

43. Arnold Schwartzengger and a mutant with 3-boobs?

44. Meechell’s busted Spanx that split open with such force it spun out of Earth’s gravitational pull and hurled into deep space. Lost forever-or so they thought…

45. The lost Chilean miners?

46. I read all of those when I was a teen (along with Dune and a bunch of others). Me and my BFF grew up on sci fi.

47. A towel.

48. Moochellian Space Gas…

49. Don’t you think that it might be that simple!

50. They’re going to over-hype some minor discovery while they continue to conceal the truth, just like every government project.

51. Alice Kramden? No, wait – NASA already discovered her remains on the moon.

    Never mind…

    🙂

52. Water

53. Trump Outer Space Towers – Kayak THAT, Obama!

54. The source of Obama’s red pens.

55. That Chinese intend to land a man on Obama’s last day as POTUS.

56. So that’s where I left it.

57. My guess is it will be some trival factoid spun in such a way as the generate mysterious research mega funding requests.

58. Actually, they think they may have discovered life there but they have to wait 9 months to be sure

59. A TarDis and a crazy time traveler

60. Martian Anchor Baby?

61. They discovered a copy of The Martian Chronicles?

62. Local chapter of Planned Planethood?

63. Volume of _A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy._

64. Yeah, laying right next to the Chronicles.

65. Valerie Jarett’s parents?

    Jar-Jar Binks?

    Val-Jar Binks?

66. Al Capone’s Vault?

67. World Trade Center 7

    OJ’s “real killers”

    The grassy knoll shooters

    Amelia Earhart’s lost plane

    The Titanic iceberg

    Martian Area 51

    Ted Kennedy’s Olds’

    Big Fur’s Hat

68. My older brother had all the books. I had to sneak them out of his room to read because he told me they weren’t ‘girly’ books. Read all his Ian Fleming too. 48 years ago…. great books.

69. Whatever it is, I guarantee it’ll require massive government funding, more regulations on American business, less personal freedom, and mandated composting toilets.

70. My retainer

71. I know that song,

    My My My Retainer.

72. JFK’s brain

    Cock roaches

    All those lost car keys

    DB Cooper

    Elvis!

73. Silly! He has no balls.

74. Oh carp forgot the Bushy Haired Man

75. Gene Roddenberry’s remains

76. .22 ammunition?

77. H. G. Wells’ The War Of The Worlds manuscript…

78. I think they found “It”.

79. a mosque dating back to 750 ad.

80. Saddam’s WMD’s…

81. Bob Marley or Elvis. Or both!

82. The edit button. 😀

83. Close. Orson Welles’ and Agnes Moorehead’s love child…
    now an old man, who has been joyriding on the Spirit Rover. 🙂

84. MJA..just shopping for thumb ups!
    Disgraceful! 🙂

85. That’s on Uranus. LOL.

    No don’t go look, it was a joke.

86. A pair of 80 story condos.

    Trump Martian Towers

87. I would know if MJA was anywhere NEAR my butt…

88. Well, she got mine.

89. Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

90. The movie looks interesting, but I dislike every single actor in it.

91. Even more evidence that all white people are innately racist. Of Course.

92. Attagirl!

93. A 1969 Mars Buggy on cinder blocks in a white trash trailer-park…

94. I nearly brought up a kidney laughing at that one.

95. A wooden spoon.

96. A Space 1999 Super Swift

97. The beginning of life on Mars!

    Unfortunately the two lifeforms were gay and therefore life ended
    RIGHT FUCKING THERE!

98. bigfoot

99. Yeah you would. I pinch hineys. 😀

100. Introduce it to the one in the whitehouse

101. That’s kind of exciting in a twisted way! I’m in.

102. You’re all wrong, they found Brian Williams.

103. Hahahaha…good one!

104. A red flag with a hammer and sickle on it.

105. All y’all fuckers are sick and twisted….I love each and every one of you

106. They discovered some Jews living there; so Muslims have proclaimed that Mars belongs to them.

107. Jimmy Hoffa

108. Yep, there’re gonna claim they found evidence that there may have been water there for the 10 billionth fucking time without actually finding any goddamn water.

109. Mars rover found Hoffa.

110. Mars? God of War? It would make sense that Mecca faces it.

111. (May pig dinks be up in him)

112. I’m sure she would, too. Like Ground Prox warning-“Woop Woop Pull Up Woop Woop!”

113. They found a box with John Boner’s spine (like-new condition) and a defined gender for the First Sasquatch.

114. I heard they found Hoffa years ago. They washed off old Tammy Faye’s make up.

115. A cardboard sign that reads “MARTIAN LIVES MATTER”.

116. Briefcase-clock making instructions written on CAiR letterhead paper.

117. A civilization wiped out by muslim immigration.

     And the remains of muhammad’s mother, Mopiggy.

118. My money’s on something it turns out NASA has known about for some time but is revealing only now to capitalize on it. Just like years ago when they discovered the rock containing disproven microbes…which rock had been sitting on their shelf for some years. They released that right when funding was coming up in Congress, as I recall. This will be something similar…a scam to appear useful and relevant.

119. One of Hillary’s subpoenas from White Water.

     Al Sharpton’s and Jesse Jackson’s love child.

     Mooshell’s butt plug corking a Martian volcano.

120. And martian is spelled “marshin”…..

121. NoKo rocket

     cough syrup, skittles, and Arizona Watermelon Fruit Juice Cocktail.

122. All of my missing socks.

123. water

124. lol!

125. an Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator….

126. Dr. Manhattan, of course.

127. They are due next week with their newly published manual, “How To Serve Man.” (with apologies to Rod Serling)

128. Ray Walston um I mean Uncle Martin

129. The origin of the first Marsupial….a mammal who is born undeveloped and the rides in Mamas pouch. Kinda like folks in this country.

130. Who’s Ronnie Cox?