Gizmodo
Earlier this month, Virginia-based company Alan’s Factory Outlet published the “Bird Dropping Report,” which surveyed 1,000 U.S. drivers about their experience dealing with bird mess on their cars. The report combines survey responses with ornithology research, and its conclusions reveal a mix of expected yet surprising insights into the relationship between avian bowel activity and vehicle appearance.
Is your car a poop magnet?
Overall, brown, red, and black cars were most likely to be pooped on, whereas lighter colors, such as white or silver, tended to be spared from poop. As for brands, Ram trucks appeared to be most affected by bird splatter, followed by Jeep, Chevrolet, Nissan, and Dodge. More
It’s the magnetic nano-particles in the paint that attract the nano-particles in the poop.
Did the report say anything about parking under a tree?
Or under electric or telephone lines. I once got hit by seagull poop on the bill of my baseball cap riding thru Riverfront Park in downtown Spokane while riding my bike home from work. Thank goodness I had my baseball cap (Seattle Mariners) on otherwise it would’ve hit the top of my bald head or worse the front of my face.
Did the report acknowledge the political stance of said birds??
Don’t sweat the small stuff, be thankful Katie Porter doesn’t have wings!
What if it’s a black crow or a raven, do they only poop on white people or is that racist.
Is your car a poop magnet?
Only on the day I wash it.
Is that a comparison of absolute numbers, or per carpita?
I had a crow show up this spring and stand about ten feet away on a boulder and watch me working in my truck patch. Every once in a while I’d throw him a worm. I’d also throw food scraps out for him. Then one day he was on the power line yelling at me for something for breakfast and when I ignored him the bastard waited until I was going in the house and flew down and clobbered me in the back of the head. So I didn’t give him any food for a few days and just flipped him off. Then the bastard tried another sneak attack, but I saw his shadow coming and turned around and took a swing at him with my garden axe. He went up on the wire and raised all sort of concern then flew off. About ten minutes later he came back with every last one of his relatives and it looked like they were getting ready to go all Alfred Hitchcock on my ass. They were standing shoulder to shoulder on the power lines, rain gutters up on the roof and across the street on the school and in the trees and yelling their asses off and more were coming. I went in the house and left their black asses to cook under the hot sun for a couple of hours. Some time they all went home and I’m back on good terms with the little bastard. He sees me go out in the morning and if out back he sits on the fence and if in the front on the boulder and waits for me to see what is in the fridge. So long as he gets breakfast he doesn’t pull any sneak attacks.
“Only on the day I wash it.”
Also known to bring on immediate rain showers.
Speaking of plops, Trinity Catholic school behind my house is hosting their 35th annual pony plop and street fair tomorrow as a fund raiser for the school next to my house. It used to be called the cow plop (now they’re just using a pony instead which is smaller and probably cheaper) which we jokingly called bovine bingo. If the pony plops or takes a dump on your $5-dollar ticketed square you can win up to a couple of thousand dollars with smaller prizes for adjacent squares. We won $50 dollars one year. When my kids went to Trinity back in the 90’s I used to help with the cow plop, now I just watch from my back deck. They also have a beer garden on the grass in front of the rectory where the Priest lives which is a Catholic thing, Protestants would never do that. They have a provisional liquor license for one day so it’s legal.
I’ve learned to avoid the only shady spot not being used in a nearly full parking lot.
Bird poop all over the ground means all over your car when you get back. I guarantee it doesn’t matter what color your car/truck is. You’ve found your local bird poop dispensary.
I’ve found that membership in my local car wash “club” mitigates the dirty bird problem. I get all the washes I want, flat price. The only limitation is no more than once per day.
I have seen various birds battling their reflection in the vehicle windows as well as the large truck mirrors and whilst they are at it, they crap all over…. Just my observations.
It looks like the birds know which cars are CRAP and are trying to warn the consumer.
You’ve seen nuthin’ till a huge Condor craps on your car.
Don’t park under the light poles in parking lots either, especially at the grocery store.
favorite quote from a real airborne-type: only fools & birdshit fall out of the sky…
They fire for effect. A light background is a waste of ammo.
Robins have a nasty behavior of positioning their young on a vehicle while they stuff it full of worms that instantly does a Jackson Pollock on the hood or roof.
I purchased an exterior windshield cover this summer. Not because of bird poop but to keep the pitch from the pine trees off the glass. Probably my best investment this year.
Bird poop? Take a turkey in the grille at 60 mph then we’ll talk.
Living in Florida, I have noticed that our dreaded love bug swarms (twice a year for 50+ years now) absolutely LOVE white vehicles, regardless of make/model.
I also agree with KCIR, they seem to know that Chrysler brand vehicles are crap. And I used to be a Chrysler fan, owning about 6 over the years, but no more.
Anonymous, one of our drivers a few years ago had a turkey fly into the windshield of his work van about 15 miles west of Spokane on I-90 about dusk while driving his work van at 70mph. The turkey completely shattered the windshield, and I don’t know how he managed to nurse the van back into town. The next morning when I was going to work early, I noticed the van parked inside our garage and took a look at it, the windshield was completely and totally shattered, and I don’t know how he wasn’t hurt by that turkey flying into his windshield. It was one of our fairly brand-new diesel Mercedes Benz work vans which are great to drive but are extremely high maintenance vehicles and I hate making sure that the DEI fluid levels are always at the proper level otherwise you’re pretty much SOL.
I took a turkey in the windscreen at 55. If I wasn’t wearing glasses I would have been blinded by the shattered glass.
He left his beard stuck in the glass. I can only hope he learned his lesson.
One other time I was driving north of St. Maries, Idaho up towards I-90 when the guy in front of me hit a turkey and the guy behind me stopped and picked up the dead road-kill turkey. Free meat for rednecks I guess.
Canuck Thanksgiving was last weekend & I barely got any stuffing.
(farm fed natural Bird)
So tomorrow, My wife is cooking a pre-stuffed Butterball and WE AIN”T TELLING NO ONE!
CHEERS Aardvark, you made me hungry.