No, The Average American Doesn’t Use Three Rolls Of Toilet Paper Per Week – IOTW Report

No, The Average American Doesn’t Use Three Rolls Of Toilet Paper Per Week

Sunday, 3 March 2019, 17:00 MJA Uncategorized 54

The Federalist: Fortune Magazine’s 2.2 million Twitter followers woke up Friday morning to a news story that seems unbelievable. According to the magazine, “The average American uses 3 rolls of toilet paper each week—and it’s devastating forests.” Not everyone has the same bathroom needs and habits, but most people’s reactions to the tweet were similar: that seems like a lot.

That sort of reaction by ordinary people ought to have convinced Fortune’s editors to fact-check the information. Instead, they took the figures disseminated by the Natural Resources Defense Council—an environmental advocacy group—and republished them nearly word-for-word, turning the magazine into a microphone for a special interest group.  MORE

54 Comments on No, The Average American Doesn’t Use Three Rolls Of Toilet Paper Per Week

  1. No, they don’t use that much! Ridiculous.

    I use small stones. Diversity training taught me that. Takes a little getting used to since all I have is sharp gravel in the driveway, but I feel better about myself (and just a tad superior to you paper folks).

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  3. I dunno, the people who use six-ply towels for TP probably go thru more than 3 rolls. My inlaws criticize me everytime they are at my place with Scott’s 1-ply 1000 sheets per roll. They run out and buy the towels wrapped around a tube brand. Then promptly plug up my toilets. I’d say there’s about 200 sheets or less on those towel rolls. When I’m forced to use the thick TP, I’ve been known to use an entire roll and flush the toilet 4 times for one dump. Makes no sense to me why people buy that garbage, it just gets flushed anyways. I can never fold it right to fit my asshole for a legitimate wipe. The 1-ply I just bunch up and it works perfectly in 2 or 3 wipes. Depends on my diet, but normally a roll lasts me about a week, so long as it’s the cheap stuff. But not so cheap it rips trying to get it off the roll like in public bathrooms; that TP is horrid. It rips every square.

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  4. Hell, I’d blow Fortune’s statistics all the way to Uranus. I’m lucky if I go through 1 to 1-1/2 Mega Rolls of Charmin Super Strong per month. I don’t peel off 1/2 of a roll at a time like they do.

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  6. @Irate Nate – Micheal Moore and Rosie don’t use three rolls. More like they shove the roll up in theire fat ass cracks and lose three roles. And some people here are giving up too much info. Stop it as I have a visual imagination and its getting close to dinner.

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  10. For all of you preppers/opportunists out there.

    Load up on toilet paper and immodium. When the SHTF (literally) the paper will make awesome barter material. When the shelves are empty, people will not tolerate using leaves. The immodium will be worth it’s weight in gold. Bad diet, rotten diet, unpure water, etc…and people will want to seal it up.

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  15. Only use that single ply sometimes breakthrough stuff.
    Not that I enjoy the breakthrough part of it, however I do hate the consent plunging of even that 2-ply shit.
    I hate the Charmin Bears!
    Back in the 80’s I shot a Teddy Ruxpin in the face with a Savage Stevens single shot 12 gauge.
    Talk about a relief,, it is,,,

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  18. My sister and her husband and kids stayed with me for about six or eight months after he graduated. They burned through an eighteen roll Costco pack in under a month every month they were there.

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  19. About 80% of Americas toilet paper is made in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I assure you that they do not get their wood pulp from Canada. It would not be economical. This writer is full of shit.
    Most of it is recycled paper product. They are recognized with the Environmental Protection Agency Administrator’s Award for Recycling Leadership.

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  20. I use as much as I want and whenever the need arises. We go through TP pretty good, and once a week I buy more – the big ass case at Costco. I’m picky about paper towels too. I bought 6 rolls of the worse stuff EVER! I decided to wash my windows trying to use up the shitty towels. I used a whole roll to wash 4 windows inside and out. Do I care about where and how the paper towels were manufactured? Heck NO! No more of this 1-ply stuff either. I hate it when my finger goes through crappy toilet paper. /rant

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  34. Damn David, I can see how a household of six or seven people could zip right through a roll of TP.
    Shit, that’s 2 Costco Case’s right there,
    You profitable sicko,,,
    Just kidding,,
    In a way,,kids,,

    2

  36. The “average” American uses 3 rolls a week? Not likely. The “Average” American is now an immigrant from some third world shithole, and doesn’t even know what a toilet is, let alone toilet paper. Nor does he/she care to learn.

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  39. how do blind people know when they’re done wiping…??

    ……..that’s what they have those dogs for…..

    i know, i know……never had a place to tell that one before….. 🙂

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  44. A disgusting topic. But your diet determines butt wipe usage. If you’re healthy and on a high protein diet, like eating farting cows, you will use minimal toilet paper.

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  50. My poor mom in her last yr. who was crazy as a loon from dementia went thru TP like there was no tomorrow. Sometimes one roll or more a day and she’d get really upset if there was no TP on the roll. She also plugged the toilet up really bad a few times and flooded the bathroom more than once, that was no fun for my brother and I when we had to take care of her. I wouldn’t want anyone to go thru what we went thru with our mom, dementia sucks.

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  51. Old TP joke…

    Two hunters are in the woods and one says, “I’ve got to take a wicked sh!t. But I don’t have any TP.”
    The other hunter says, “Use some leaves, or if they’re too scratchy use a dollar.”
    The pooping hunter runs off into the underbrush, but comes back with his hands covered in sh!t.
    The other hunter says, “Hey, I told you to use leaves or a dollar!”
    The pooped-up hunter says, “I didn’t have a dollar, so I used two quarters and a dime.”

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