Bumped- Now’s the Time To Be a Nostra Dumass – IOTW Report

Bumped- Now’s the Time To Be a Nostra Dumass

Reader, Seaoh, had a dream that Oregon was hit with a large magnitude earthquake. This horrible potential tragedy filled with death, destruction and mayhem, has gifted us a delightful thread suggestion.  (lol)

Give us your best Jeane Dixon for 2019 and then we can check back around this time next year and see who came closest to any amazing feats of soothsaying.

You can also make a prediction for the remainder of 2018. That way we can have a little fun in 3 weeks.

Just put *2108 in front of your prediction so we know it’s only valid for the rest of this year.

83 Comments on Bumped- Now’s the Time To Be a Nostra Dumass

  1. Yellowstone will suddenly become quiet and cold.

    Canada will be renamed “Eh.”

    Ohio will celebrate for weeks in the streets when Jon Kasich steps out of the governorship.

    Hollywood will be rocked by a lack of scandal.

    The “meerkattoo” movement will become a “thing.”

    Charlie Sheen will find Jesus and take his evangelist show on the road in Yemen.

    22
  2. 2019 Bill and Hillary will testify before grand jury about their money laundering racket, the Clinton Foundation. They will both answer every question, including “please state your name”, by saying “I don’t remember”. After several of the grand jury members commit remarkable and improbable acts of suicide, no charges will be filed.

    25
  3. 2019 I’ll be shocked and amazed after going one whole day without and unresponsive script on IOTW Report crashing my web browser. That same day hell will freezer over. The media will blame Trump for hell freezing over.

    6
  4. 2019 – Hillary dies from natural causes and all investigations into anything that involves Dems will stop because of overwhelming sadness and, just because. No one goes to prison.
    ANY mention of the progs shenanigans on any online venue will earn the writer a visit from a local FBI team.

    8
  5. 2019 – Ruth Bader Ginsburg passes away – Liberals turn Washington DC into a war zone to prevent President Trump (MILST) from making his third (of four – 2020 Sotomayer) Supreme Court Justices.

    14
  6. 2019 – The Mueller investigation will still be going on for the entire year, and not a single person will be indicted let alone sent to prison.
    Trump will be impeached in the house but not convicted in the Senate.
    Alexandria Cortez will discover that the House of Representatives is not actually a house and will demand changes for the poor people who used to live there.

    15
  7. Joe Biden will formally announce his candidacy for the Democrat nomination, thus paving the way for Democrats to return to nominating older white men in order to gain the Presidency.

    9
  8. *2019
    Bill Clinton will be found dead which is ruled a suicide after shooting himself in the head 5 times. This comes shortly after he gets an immunity deal and offers testimony against the Clinton foundation.

    11
  9. 2019 – Antifa thugs, probably in Seattle or Portland, will take things a step over the line, and their conservative peacefully demonstrating targets will defend themselves, shooting and killing several black-clad aggressors. Those defenders will then become targets for law enforcers who had been observing but not interfering with the communist gang. The defenders will refuse to be arrested peacefully, and the cops will of course escalate to lethal force immediately. Fortunately, the cops are outgunned by the conservatives, who are better marksmen anyway, and several cops are killed after they’ve fired 327 rounds and hit nobody but innocent bystanders.

    The U.S. then explodes into civil war.

    19
  10. 2019 – President Trump visits Barky Oblamo in solitary confinement in GITMO to offer him a pardon. The pardon: he leads a team (made up of the usual suspects; Comey, Mueller, Bill, Hillary, Michelle Obama, Lois Learner, etc.) on a one-way mission to colonize Mars and prepare to receive our ships to pick up valuable resources for America to use to MAGA!

    11
  11. Uncle Al

    Interesting, here were my thoughts. Late summer as the Primaries are in full bloom the Anti Trump movement goes off the rails and Libtards are calling for public execution of Deplorables. There’s wide spread violence against anyone considered to be a Conservative. A group of Deplorables, most likely with militia ties sets up the violent left and they end up killing a few. LE, and swat are immediately called in and they too are set up with a flanking team.

    The U.S. then explodes into civil war.

    Neither scenario is that far fetched.

    7
  12. Seaoh–as long as the earthquake fracture line runs down the middle of the Willamette River and everything west of it drops into the ocean, I’m cool with it. Except for one little hillside where some of my dear ones live. I dunno about the other IOTWrs who live up here though. Oh, and yes to Uncle Al. Keep your powder dry, folks!

    2
  13. Extraterrestrial – but certainly illegal – aliens land on the White House lawn and set-up a homeless encampment, defecating little alien shitballs all over that sprout into little Hillary Clinton statues. Trump issues the order to flame-thrower the grounds and the little shitballs explode into giant Bubba Clintons with fangs. The alien mother ship nukes D.C. from orbit because it was the only way to be sure.

    5
  14. 2019. Dead cockroach found on the moon, sending scientists and alien hunters into frenzies of “We told you so”. By November, it will be determined that the roach hitched a ride on a Chinese unmanned lunar lander after making its way from a restaurant near the launch site. It survived for several weeks on the moon and even hiked from the dark side of the moon to the light side. Had there been any green cheese on the moon, it would still be alive.

    11
  15. 2019. Amelia Earhard’t shrunken head was purchased from an online Brazilian shrunken head dealer by Facebook billionaire Zuckerman.

    Zuckerman chortled when the head was delivered, fondling and drooling over it. “I’ve dreamed of owning it since I was a little kid”, Zuckerman told a reporter from the NY Times. Details of the sale were not revealed, but art dealers believe the price was somewhere between 25 and 50 million USD.

    6
  16. Oqueso-Cortez will be on an LSM talk show where she will be asked a question. When she is asked a follow up because the host didn’t quite understand her answer, she will get upset, throw a fit and call the host a jealous white bitch. The interviewer will be Chris Cuomo.
    Anytime between this Friday and January 19th, 2019.

    8
  17. Joy Behar decides to teach Nutmeg McCain a lesson and starts screaming at her on live TV as she pulls out a pistol full of blanks and pretends to shoot herself in the head. The rest of her co-host just look at Behar lying on the floor and all agree they really didn’t like the bitch anyway. Behar quits and lands a job as a security guard at a Nuclear Power Plant in upstate NY.

    7
  18. 2019 – Mueller attack will end and Trump will push it back. Just like this 300K Stormy Daniel’s litigation repayment. He will push back in litigation against everything that he has been attacked for political purposes.

    There will be at least 2 ABC heads going to prison.

    6
  19. I win the Powerball and retire to the Great Slave Lake in the Northwest Territories of Canada with a half french injun gal named Raquel…..and her twin sister, who cooks well…..

    10
  20. 2019 –

    * Higher Taxes – either sales, federal, state, property, income, estate, or etc.

    * Death – More creatures will die.

    * Extinct – More species will go extinct.

    * Discovery – More species will be discovered.

    * Birth – More creatures will be born.

    * Scream – More (not less) liberals will scream at the sky.

    * Censorship – More.

    * Cooling – Earth will cool a fraction of a degree Celsius and be told it’s warming.

    * Space – Rockets will fail. We won’t land anyone on Mars.

    * Age – We will all gain 1 year. Or die trying.

    * The View and MSM – Ramps up TDS.

    6
  21. The Japs say what hell? And invade North Korea to find that it is literally a shit hole. Meaning literally shit everywhere on the streets everywhere. Later realize that it was South Korea that they wanted to invade. Sony had a glitch and when they bought out Hello Kitty got the north/south thing mixed up, steered them wrong.

    3
  22. Donald Trump will shut down the government. It will be the longest shutdown probably going into April. The primaries will start up in April and the Dems Will panic and start to sweat. Then we got our wall.

    3
  23. 2019 – First Sasquatch and Barry will confirm they have been living separately since leaving the White House. They are still married and good friends, but realize interspecies cohabitation is not always successful.

    6
  24. 2020 – Mr. Trump will get a second term. The election results will be similar to 2016, with Joe Biden hyped by leftist media as the sure winner, but like Hillary Clinton, defeated by a comfortable margin in electoral votes.

    2019 – Mueller will become incapacitated and not able to continue investigations. Unfortunately, the investigations will continue with new leadership. More associates of President Trump will be procecuted. The House will get votes for impeachment.

    2020 – Good news – The Wall gets more funding and partially built and proves to be highly successful in areas where it exists.

    2
  25. In 2019, the Left Coast is hit with a massive tidal wave… of welfare dependents and degenerates. The sudden spike in weirdos causes The Purge to be played out in LA, Sacramento, San Francisco, Oakland, Portland and Seattle.

    Hillary Clinton is revealed to be the Queen of the Lizard People as her skin suit suddenly fully decomposes on national tv, because bathing in the blood of puppies every night will only make your skin suit last so long. The MSM declares that anyone who opposes her campaign for Empress is specist.

    Occasional Cortex reveals her plan to reorder society with a “college-to-food-stamps pipeline plan” for America. She challenges Bernie Sanders to a fight in the Thunderdome to be head of the newly renamed Democratic Socialists of America Party.

    Seattle’s Mayor formally cedes control of the city to Antifa, who immediately passes a resolution requiring mandatory marijuana use for all high school kids 16 and older, plus a ban on bathing and women’s hair removal. Women are also forbidden from having less than 37 piercings, 15 tattoos, and having their hair be any natural-looking color.

    Berkeley mandates that all female students immediately begin practicing free bleeding, and requires men to get stabbed in the groin monthly and share in the social experiment, because women’s hygiene products are oppressive and environmentally unsound.

    San Francisco mandates that all children immediately have at least one gender reassignment surgery, and pass a new 300% sales tax to fund the law.

    4
  26. 2019- Capitalism and liberty will again be the sole cause of horrific climate change. For the first few months of the the year the northern hemisphere will suffer from massive global cooling caused primarily by Christians and Republicans, than over the next few months Corporations will cause massive global warming which will reach its zenith by mid August before President Trump and the Conservative Supreme Court justices, aided by FOX news, will cause global cooling to once again kick in for the remainder of the year.

    4
  27. After the death of Hillary Clinton HBO announces it will spend $500 million dollars producing a biographic movie of her life. Big fur hat will create a thread on IOTW asking for tittle suggestions, Shockingly Chaluppa will be stomped and not offer any suggestions

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