Townhall
What the hell is this? I get why Ohio Democrats are doing this, trying to be cute with the whole ‘regulate our bodies’ narrative that no one cared about in 2024. Abortion and female voters did not save Democrats, who obsess over the weirdest issues that will keep this party in the political wilderness. I’m not complaining—it’s just funny that we were the ones who were framed as being ‘weird,’ specifically Vice President JD Vance. Again, when you dug just a little, it was Tim Walz and the rest of the Democrats who proved to be the aberrant clowns of the 2024 cycle. And now, this bill targeting ejaculating males only reinforces that Democrats are unserious, leaderless, rudderless, and without a central message More
Uhhh, how would they know if that law gets broken?
Like Andrew Wilkow eluded to today; “How is this going to work between homosexual males”? Which one goes to jail for attempted impregnation?
I imagine the state of Ohio would have to add DNA testing to its criminal forensic unit if this legislation was ever enacted. The only problem would be acquiring the DNA of possible suspects. I would assume one has constitutional protection of one’s own genetic code from state scrutiny.
If the enforcers of this law were able to legally acquire a person’s DNA, by say a quick swab of the mouth, I’d like to take that precedent and pass another law that would go a long way towards preventing abortions in the future.
All I see is the democrats are reaching the very end, the very bottom of the barrel, they are willing to shoot their last wad on what can only be explained as their typical senseless attempt to disrupt, objectify, redirect or otherwise deflect the facts that they have stupidly painted themselves into a corner.
Gay men hardest hit.
So they are making being homo illegal? I say vote for it.
What happens if the load is lobbed across state lines? Does it become regulated by the Federal .gov as interstate cumerce?
…sooo, will parents of young teen sons be fined into oblivion after middle school dances and anime conventions?
…here’s a good State fundraising song, then…
https://youtu.be/8I1oMjNVh7U?si=GkQ6OTllIygbGpNK
It’s a reflex, akin to a sneeze, therefore always involuntary. Gay gents rejoice, and straight guys… Tell it to family court when you’re up for child support.
KR
Lawsuits over blue balls incoming.
And in true democrat fashion, faggots are excluded from the proposed law. Who actually votes for these fucking psychos? JFC.
…sooo when Tim Walz jerks off a horse for his breakfast beverage, since it is not his INTENT to make a baby horse with it will THAT be illegal in Ohio?
Stucco ceilings hit hardest…
So, just exactly do you jerk off a horse without it kicking the shit out of you?
geoff the aardvark
Friday, 14 February 2025, 21:25 at 9:25 pm
“So, just exactly do you jerk off a horse without it kicking the shit out of you?”
…I do not know myself, but apparently the key is to have someone else do it for you if you’re Tim Walz…
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/878/141/66b
…sex causes problems for horses in other ways…
I once read of a stallion that was bred and trained as a champion, and was incredibly fast in practice. With dollar signs in his eyes, the owner took him to the track for his first race.
The horse was in the start gate next to a filly, and they nuzzled a bit before the start. True to expectations he ran swifter than the rest, but suddenly stopped at the finish line and refused to move until the filly crossed.
Angry about this, the owner went down to have a talk with the horse (a less profitable talent this horse also had). “Horse, you had that race easily locked up, then you stopped. I lost a ton of money on you, and I wanna know WHY.
The horse replied “Boss, I was doing it for you, really, but I was thinking about that tasty little filly I nuzzled with, and I started thinking she wouldn’t like me if I beat her, so I let HER win so I could score. I’ll try to do better next time.
“See that you DO, or I’m gonna have you GELDED. We’ll get those thoughts out ONE way or another.”, and he stalked off.
The next race, same thing happened. Filly, nuzzle, stop, lose. The owner said, “That’s IT, you’re getting GELDED”, and gave orders to the vet for it that very night.
…A few weeks later, sans testicles, the horse was healed and trained back up, and was faster than ever. The owner went to see him and asked “do you still think about fillies?”
The horse said “No boss. Those thoughts are gone, and I’m focused and gonna win this one for you,”
The horses lined up in the gate, and sure enough, he completely ignored the fillies on both sides, no matter how enticingly they tossed their manes at him.
Then the race started, and the horse sat immediately on the ground and was disqualified.
…thundering down to the stable, the owner said “What the HELL was it THIS time? Why did you fall down?”
…the horse said, “I didn’t mean to, Boss. This time, I was alert, I was focused, I wasn’t thinking about anything but winning this race for you. But then the gate opened and a guy on the speaker said, “AND, THEY’RE OFF!”, so I was SO mortified that I crossed my legs to hide it, and that’s why I fell down”…
If this bill passes, tube sock sales will plummet
JMV
Friday, 14 February 2025, 20:05 at 8:05 pm
“Uhhh, how would they know if that law gets broken?”
…sticky fingers and stiff underwear inspections…
Oh, cum on, you’re killing me with those last 2 posts.
geoff the aardvark
Friday, 14 February 2025, 22:58 at 10:58 pm
“Oh, cum on, you’re killing me with those last 2 posts.”
….thats OK as long as you dont get TOO excited as that is apparently illegal in OH now and we dont want to get BFH in trouble for facilitating interstate crimes…
Jerks Against Jerk offs!