Our Stupid Joke Quota Must Be Filled Before 2020 – It’s a Blogging Law – IOTW Report

Our Stupid Joke Quota Must Be Filled Before 2020 – It’s a Blogging Law

Compiled from Reddit

Why are dogs afraid to go to space? Because of the vacuum

There is a new restaurant named Karma It doesn’t have a menu… you get what you deserve

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He is a web designer.

Don’t eat a clock…. It’s time consuming.

I lost 25% of my roof during the storm oof

Someone broke into my house and stole 20% of my couch Ouch

I can see 2 weeks into the future. Yeah, I have 2020 vision

What’s brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

What’s the best part about living in Switzerland I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

93 Comments on Our Stupid Joke Quota Must Be Filled Before 2020 – It’s a Blogging Law

  1. A yellow frog went to a witch to see if she could make him green. Zap and he was green except for one part of his anatomy. The witch said she didn’t do that, but he could go to see the wizard.
    A pink elephant went to the Same witch. Zap and he is grey except one part. Again, she directed him to the wizard. When he asked directions, she said “Follow the yellow pricked toad.”
    🐸 🐘

    30
  2. A frog went into a bank for a loan. The loan officer, Mr. Padawack, asked him for som collateral. The frog pulled out a small trinket. The loan officer went to his boss to show him the unknown object.
    His boss said, “It’s a knickknack, Padawack, give the frog a loan.”
    🐸 🐸

    22
  3. Bill Clinton voice: I never had sexual relations with that woman… I don’t know who Chelsea’s father is…

    I told the American people that I never inhaled… Actually I never exhaled… That’s why I still talk like this

    12
  4. MerryMouse
    DECEMBER 17, 2019 AT 1:46 PM
    “What’s red and white on the outside and gray and white on the inside?
    ^
    ^
    ^
    Campell’s Cream of Elephant soup.

    groannnnn…”

    …that’s irrelefant…

    6
  5. Chicago jokes:
    Why did the duck cross Michigan Avenue? To get to the Drake.
    A guy asks the bus driver, “Does this bus go to da Loop?” Driver replies, “No, it goes beep-beep.”

    8
  6. Not a joke but a gentleman brought a snow blower in for repair about a week ago. Said it won’t start. Pointed to the electric start port where you plug the machine into your 110 volt house current. Said he left it plugged in for a week but it still won’t start! Also went and picked one up today and the gentleman started to explain the symptoms. I told him it was probably a carburator/fuel issue. He said he though it was a problem with the intake and then pointed to the muffler and said there shouldn’t be soot around the intake. I loaded it onto the trailer and left.

    2
  7. My favorite kids joke, What did the elephant say to the naked man? That’s cute but how do you breathe thru it. And a cannibal joke just because, Why did the cannibal join the Police force? Because he wanted to grill suspects. Why don’t cannibals eat Pentecostals? Because they keep throwing up their hands. And don’t ever trust an Atom because they make up everything.

    2
  8. A professor is known for starting his classes with a sexist joke. The woman in his class quickly become tired of his sexual humor and decide to stage a walk out. The next day the professor begins with a statement. “I’ve heard that in China there are so few whores that they have to be imported from other countries.” The woman all stand up and begin to walk out. The professor doesn’t skip a beat, he shouts. “Wait, ladies, don’t leave now, the boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

    4
  9. An overprotective dad has three daughters and insists on meeting every single one of their dates before they leave. The first man shows up and says hello Sir, my name is Eddie Sigfredi, I’m here to pick up Betty, we’re going to eat spaghetti, how long until she’s ready? The dad decides that he seems OK. The second man arrives. He says, hello sir my name is Joe Shimo, I’m here to pick up Flow, we’re going to a picture show, is she almost ready to go? The dad decides that he seems OK. Dad decides that he seems OK. The third man arrives. He says hello sir my name is Buck Tucker! The dad shoots him.

    3
  10. I got a million of em folks!
    I’m here all night

    Did you hear about the pig who lost his voice?

    He’s disgruntled
    ————–
    How come the pony could not talk?

    He was a little horse
    ————–
    What does a gay horse eat?
    Haaayy!
    ————-
    Why did Jeffery Dahmer have a blender on his front porch?

    So he could greet you with a hand shake
    ————–
    Jeffery Epstein didn’t kill himself
    ————-
    What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

    Elefino
    —————-
    What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, laying on a reef?

    Carl
    _—————-
    What do you call two guys with no arms, no legs, hanging over a window?

    Kurt & Rod
    —————–
    What do you call tRuth’s comments?

    The ravings of a Jew-hating, soros-paid, basement-dwelling, clapped-out old whore
    —————-
    Alcoholics Anonymous is for quitters

    ————–
    How do Catholics make Holy Water?

    They boil the Hell out of it

    1
  11. I’ll close with my Annual Christmas Joke:

    Did you know that God gave women permission to nag men?

    It’s true! Right there in the Bible it says “Mary ride Joseph’s ass all the way to Bethlehem”

    Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah!
    Happy New Year! Kwanzaa is fake!

    5

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