Maybe somebody out there has a solution to my problem or can offer a humorous retort to my predicament. It’s a worthy Friday night puzzle.
During the wet snow and freezing rain I have a 60 foot maple tree that decided to take a nap. Root ball is on my side of the creek. The top is now lying on the other side of the creek.
Here’s the math question.
If I take a 10 foot Jon boat with a 6 foot ladder and an 18 inch chainsaw out to tackle it, how much admission should I charge and should I offer a discount to the person who holds my beer?
Maybe one of your readers has a better idea. Tree is screen right.
Looks like you have yourself a bridge!
Put a sign on the bank that says, “Bridge closed til Spring” and get back in the house.
What’s the board foot price of maple wood these days? It may well be that some enterprising sawyer would pay YOU to hold HIS beer, @PHenry!
Sounds like the Neanderthal thinking joetard* warned us about…
I’d leave it right where it is. In a year or so you will probably have a couple good spots to throw some fly’s into. Is there any trout in that water?
It has character….leave it where it is.
Not sure.
Up Here
Snow on the ground means Crown Royal
Boat = Snow mobile
Metric and such
I can draw you a diagram on how to properly set snares ( if legal where you live ) along it. Otherwise, find some 20 something’s year olds, buy them a case of beer and fire up the grill. They will jump at the chance to give it a try.. I would trim of what I could on the ground on the other side, cut if free from yours and let nature take its course.
A good barrier to the Blockade Runners!
It’s not blocking the creek. Pour yourself another beverage and worry about it come summer.
I’ll hold your beer, film, and collect your admission fees. I’ll also laugh at you when you capsize, fall off the ladder, drop the tree into your boat, or otherwise self inflict comedy. I’ll do all of this for FREE. And I’m relatively local so easily done.
Honestly leave it in place unless it is blocking the water. If it diverts the water you could have a problem. It’s also better to cut the branch side not the root side first. You won’t be able to move the tree from the boat either. You could try burning it in place, but will depend on the local fire laws. I can’t even have a campfire up here without violating the fire ordinance in commie nova. If explosives were a real option I’m trained and have experience removing trees that way….
Nice property BTW.
Undercut it far enough past the root ball that the trunk doesn’t hit the bank, Set up a snatch block on a tree across the river and then come-a-long it to the other side. Limb it out there and use the same come-a-long to Hold/Roll it. Lots of work…
/Salute
BEAUTIFUL property and photo. Drink your beer and enjoy the view.
Pick the truck, skid loader, tractor, big enough to pull it. Cut it off at the stump and drag it to dry ground. Cut a your leisure.
Only one comment…
Have you ever seen anyone use a chain saw while standing in a boat? There’s this thing called physics…
The boat will move very quickly for whoever is using the saw. Get the video camera going before you start. That’s not even telling the story of someone trying to pick wild grapes using a ladder and a boat. He got very wet without getting the grapes.
Thanks for the memories living on a river for 65 years that you brought back for me.
C-4
LRRP lolol
It is a lovely view. Even with your thumb in the shot. 😀
Get rid of it before the illegal aliens use it to invade your property. Biden is letting them in by the millions.
Can I have your chainsaw after you die?
Just make sure you don’t make racist syrup out of the fallen maple
Have a party with a bunch of guys lots of beer some grilled meat, and in passing just say “I sure wish I could get that tree out of my creek” Done in no time.
Geoff, that’s a good idea. And if you wanted the party to tear into the tree sooner rather than later you might want some whiskey or tequila on hand.
Luvn nailed it. His plan ought to do the job
You could say he’s a smart feller
I don’t know about the tree but the photograph looks like an artsy dreamscape. I like it!
@Phenry-
Make a canoe…for that river ya got there…
Ghost
@P,
VA law states that if the tree was alive before it fell on the Neighbor’s property then it is the neighbors problem.
Use the boat only to float out cable. Don’t use a chainsaw in a boat. Unless. A.) you’re pretty drunk, and B.) you have a video camera rolling.
Use a truck to haul it out or part way out, Just use the chainsaw on level ground.
Or…nail a suicide note on it and call up the county.
Before you start the saw remember to shout the magic words to get you into heaven.
“Hey y’all, watch this.”
Put in a dam downstream, sit in your boat and wait. The rising water will remove the tree. Your welcome.
Just leave it there…..
Whatever you do/don’t do, you’ll need to contact Gina McCarthy’s EPA to find out how much you owe in fines.
Of course there’ll be some pretty stiff penalties for having the tree on your property in the first place and your contribution to climate change that failed to protect it.
If you leave it you can call yourself an environmentalist.
They put old trees and branches is streams and rivers on purpose to filter the water and for fish to live around.
Maybe some hints from this video will help.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwNOmiHa6kQ
I personally would trap some beavers then let them have at it. If that doesn’t work, get a colony of termites and let them have at it.
Or do it the Governmental way. Form a research committee, hire consultants, have them all give testimony, then have a vote on it. By then the tree will have rotted, fallen in the river and drifted down stream.
P– Henry, I agree with many others. It doesn’t look like it’s disturbing the water. I think beavers will take advantage and build a large home, think of the joy of watching the construction and then the family. That sounds powerful me
Put a sign on it, “Bridge over the US border” nd let nature take it’s course.
Do not use the saw while in the boat. That is a recipe for disaster.
How deep is the water? If it is wadable I would wait until summer.
I agree with Luvn. Cut away as many of the branches as possible, then cut the trunk from the roots. Using a come-along anchored to a tree on the far shore, pivot the trunk about the branches, directing the trunk downstream as you pull it to the far shore.
Tell your buddies “It can’t be removed” and they’ll do it for you.
Just remember to say “Damn, you’re right” after they’ve done it.
^^^ The Tom Sawyer approach 🙂
Dress up like Bigfoot, pose elusively around it, sell grainy videos to a mid-sized news outlet in your area and reap the big bucks $$$$$.
Dan Ryan Galt MARCH 6, 2021 AT 8:33 AM
There’s some good ones in there…
Thanks. I knew I could count on you all.
I will ponder it. I already have beavers. Maybe I will leave it to the professionals.
@jethro.
Believe it or not a few years ago I took my power pruner (chain saw on a stick) out on Jon boat to try to deal with the overgrowth because I kept losing too many fishing lures.
I got my physics lesson that day. Contact with the branch draws the boat into the work. I eventually figured out that deploying an anchor behind me gave me the stability I needed to complete the task.
The problem is solvable, but first we need to understand your goal. Do you want the downed tree removed or do you want to be hospitalized?
Let the next flood take care of it – then it’s the next county downstream’s problem. 😜
Last week, my neighbor offered to cut down a large oak tree of another neighbor. He made the cut where it would fall away from the house. He tied a strong rope to it and pulled it away from the house. The tree started to fall away from the house. The rope broke. The tree sprung back and fell onto the house. Fifteen thousand in damage to the house. Homeowners insurance is paying except $2500 which the cutter will pay. It pays to know what you are doing when cutting trees.
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
You have to know these things when you’re a king, you know.