We could have fun with this one. But first, I post this for Billy Fuster –
“That’s the banjo player’s Porsche.”
Sorry, Billy. lol.
I also liked –
“He couldn’t have gone far, his leg is still warm.”
Carson feigned naivety and claimed he “didn’t even know what that meant.”
We need tax payer approval before we spend their money.
“Amicable Divorce”
“Happy Liberal”
“President Biden”
Some things never change, takes a shot at Geraldo Rivera for being a douche…
“Mostly Peaceful Riot”
“Capitol Hill Insurrectionists”
“Safe And Effective Vaccine”
There’s not been one soul who could replace Carson.
“He couldn’t have gone far, his leg is still warm.” I give up, does that mean something?
Let’s check with the liberals, they know what’s best.
“This won’t hurt a bit.” -The Grim Reaper
“Will that be cash or just walk out with it”.
California
Remember when Clinton was elected and the media immediately started crowing about his intellect and Obola got in and we had to hear how he might have the highest IQ of any president ever. At least xiden has spared us from ever having to hear that BS about him.
@joe6pak
““He couldn’t have gone far, his leg is still warm.” I give up, does that mean something?”
Some animals will chew their leg off if caught in a trap.
“Help! Is there a doctor in the house?…Calling Jill Bidwn!…”
The suspect is black.
Jethro, do you think that’s what was meant? I was hoping it was something else. I just didn’t know what.
“You’re late for your Mensa meeting Joe”- Jill Biden
Back when comedy was still comedy.
I don’t know, am I the only one who can picture Joe Biden saying “My fellow Americans I have a can of Pringles in my shorts”
“Will that be cash or will you just walk out with it?” is now pretty much the standard greeting in any store in California now.
@Jethro @Joe6pack
My grandpa had a prosthetic leg. I took it to mean if he wasn’t wearing it and it was still warm he couldn’t be too far away because he wouldn’t get far without it. Not quite as morbid as yours…
How about a phase no one actually ever heard at the time it is said to have been spoken, but everyone thinks was said anyway?
“Hands Up, Don’t Shoot”.
Military Intelligence!!
“FBI, open up! Oh, shit. Never mind. Wrong house.”
@ joe6pak, I immediately though of a found prosthetic.
Bill you lucky dog! That Hillary is quite the catch, sweet natured and gorgeous to boot.
“My dick is too big!”
I hear that all the time, Wonky….
My butt’s been wiped, well until slow Joe.
Not sure which anon this is, but who tells you their dick is too big?
@ Jethro
I’ve heard of guys chewing their arm off rather than waking their latest girlfriend. If I remember right, the phrase had something to do with coyotes.
Just two weeks to flatten the curve
That AOC is hot, I’d like to “date” her
“Yes, officer, I was on the wrong side of the road and driving way too fast. I got hung up at the bar playing beer pong too long and realized I was late getting to my buyer to drop off the meth. How about cutting me a little slack?”
Hey, there’s a dog in the yard. Be sure not to hurt it.
Them gals on the View are hotties.
Jill’s not here, she’s seeing patients.
I look up to you Dr. Fauci.
“Yeah, we stole the election.”
Boy that Joe Biden is a genius!
Police officer: Ma’am does your husband always talk to you like that? Oh no Officer, only when he is drunk!
“Thank you.” – From a millenial.
“Best economy in my lifetime.”
“There was so much stuff on sale at the grocery store I had to make a second trip.”
“January is my favorite month of the year.”
“That’s my dog, I’ll pick it up.”
You say that guy with the AK just yelled Alahu Akbar? I wouldnt worry about it
Will you marry me, Karen?
I’ll drink that cup of battery acid in a minute. But first I need to stick this red hot poker up my ass
^^^^^Old George Carlin joke about things you never hear anymore
LB SALTINE
He still is! Proof Fox is neither “conservative” nor “Republican”!
George Soros at Temple Judea: Hey guys, did you know that I’m a Jewish Nazi?
Joe Biden: Look, Fatty, I admit I’m really pretty damned stupid.
Barbra Streisand: OK, I know I’m ugly.
Kim Kardashian: My boobs, ass, and hips are all really sort of grotesque, don’t you think?
Yeah, I fuck little girls … ya wanna make something of it?
“Maybe we should pray to God for mercy – after all He controls the changing climate.”
“I want to grow up to be Michelle Obama’s gynecologist.”
“i’ve been eating more Wheaties since Bruce Jenner cut his dick off.”
“Biden loved the habaneros! He said he just wished they were a little hotter!”
“Who wants pizza? Don Lemon kneaded the dough himself!”
At a CNN office party.
“As soon as I put this hot poker in my ass, I’m going to chop my dick off.”
– George Carlin
Obama’s “wife” asking: Does this penis make me look fat?
Bruce Jenner: Doc, can you sew it back on?
Kamala Harris: God made me a filthy slut and I just have to live with it.
Rosie O’Donnell: Does this dress make me look like a lesbian?
My latest “been around” girlfriend.
“Is it in?”
Because, as Anony said
My dick’s too big.